Wednesday, October 31, 2007

This Is Not The Aquarius Guide To Compatibility

Dear Aquarius:

As you may have noticed, I've been doing a series on how the signs perform in their relationships with other signs. People seem to like this sort of thing, and admittedly relationship issues are the one thing I come across most often in the course of my profession. I have to admit, though: I was a little stumped as to what kind of approach to take with Aquarius. Frankly, I'm not the only one, as you may have noticed yourself.

An Aquarius is born with the knowledge (on some level) that the individual differences between us are like different songs playing on different radio stations at the same time. Even though you can only listen to one station at a time, you (above all others) realize that the same air is being pierced by hundreds of signals at hundreds of frequencies... each one carrying unique sounds. You are born knowing that, whereas most of the rest of us never even catch on that such a thing is happening all around us, all the time.

You have the same heart and feelings that everyone else does. The problem isn't you, in a sense: it's everyone else. Have you ever read what they say about you? That's you're so aloof and weird that it's hard to make a relationship work with you? What a load of crap. The big problem anyone has with a relationship with an Aquarius is that the others aren't used to listening to all those higher frequencies, literally or figuratively, like you were born to do.

Find a way to explain that to your partner in a language they understand, and all will be well.

Sure, I could give you the quick and dirty lowdown on how this man or that woman works with you. If I did, it would look kind of like this...

Aries: Fun but not always dependable or stable for you.
Taurus: Dependable and stable but sometimes not that much fun for you.
Gemini: Intellectually interesting but emotionally scattered. At least, by your standards.
Cancer: Emotionally interesting but intellectually scattered. At least, by your standards.
Leo: Fun, but wants to fight you for top billing. At least, by your standards.
Virgo: Caring but a little too conventional. At least, by your standards.
Libra: Sweet but unchallenging, or too challenging in their refusal to challenge you. At least, by your standards.
Scorpio: Emotionally intense, but doesn't know when to detach. At least, by your standards.
Sagittarius: A fun partner, but goes off on different tangents than yours. At least, by your standards.
Capricorn: Has emotional depth, but has a different game plan laid out than you do. At least, by your standards.
Aquarius: Beats the hell outta me! And that's by anyone's standards.
Pisces: Pleasantly mushy, yet unpleasantly mushy. At least, by your standards.

...and I could ornament it with some jokes and a funny picture, and we'd all have a good laugh. But none of that would actually address why you've come looking for a compatibility guide, would it? I suggest being Aquarian with this, and leap to the conclusion the rest of us would struggle a little longer to make: if you have a problem with X, go read X's entry in this series.

So: Let the Cancers and the Virgos and the Aries and such have their compatibility guides. Me? I'd rather give you something new and unique that you could really use.

Would you like a hug?



Pat Paquette said...

No, I don't need no stinkin' hug. Entertain me, make me laugh, talk to me about astrology and quantum physics, and present your brilliant alternative view of the world. And that's just foreplay...

Jeffrey Kishner said...

Is there hanky panky allowed in here?

Matthew The Astrologer said...

How much material could I get out of "hanky panky"? Aries: Do it. Taurus: Do it. Gemini: Do it....

Neith said...

The comments are as funny as your post!! Ha, Ha, ha!!! :-D

Twilight said...

You've nailed it Matthew!

"The problem isn't you, in a sense: it's everyone else."

Now I've got it in writing!!!

Brill !

Matthew The Astrologer said...

Seriously. I struggled with this one. But as long as the Aquariuses out there get it... I don't have to. :)

Turkia said...

We're not that Hard to get, in fact the only thing that you need to get is, you should not expect to get us! that will make u ease each time we strike with unpredictable behaviour because really we don't get it either but that doesn't mean we are horrible or intollerable.
despide the stuff that astrology has to say about Aquarians and their "aloofness" we can be as emotional as a pisces or a cancer, the only difference is that we do not take emotions as excuses for whatever we're going through.

still your post made me laugh! good way of putting the aries and the taurus, I've been with the worse signs for me,
curiously I've dated a lot of pisces and after two years I start to get fed up of their manipulations and emotional hazards!