Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Astro-Karaoke: I Quincunx Myself

The quincunx is an aspect between two planets of 150 degrees, connecting bodies that are in signs that have absolutely nothing in common. It's a difficult aspect to really get a handle on: sometimes it's a "minor" aspect, sometimes it's a major one. In fact, the more you study the quincunx, the less sense it makes, sometimes. Often an astrologer may be tempted to ignore it and focus on those nice, easy-to-grasp trines and squares.

Some of us, however, have a harder time avoiding that paradox than others might...

(To the tune of "I Touch Myself" by The Divinyls)

Was born like this, I often confuse me
Take care of myself, and then I abuse me
My Sun is in Sag, my Moon is in Cancer
Feel like a quiz show without any right answer!

Could have been born somebody else
The day I was born, I quincunxed myself!
It'd be easy if I was just someone else
Oh no, oh no, oh no!

It's the aspect that leaves me confounded
Sure as hell, it ain't no trine
Solid one minute, and then I'm ungrounded
And no, I don't feel fine!

I push myself to an unclear ending
Half me can't hear what the other half's sending
Can't make plans for that vacation I need now
Should I go skydiving, or just read a book now?

I could have been born somebody else
The day that I was born, I quincunxed myself!
I could have been born somebody else
Oh no, oh no, oh no!

I love myself
Except I detest me
I'm on top of myself
Except when I best me

I ask myself
If I understand me
See the answer so clear
And then it all blinds me!

Could have been born somebody else
The day that I was born, I quincunxed myself!
I could have been born somebody else
Oh no, oh no, oh no!

I was born
I'm not anyone else
From the day I showed up
I quincunxed myself!
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Aiiiieeee!!

I could have been born somebody else
The day that I was born, I quincunxed myself!
Could have been born somebody else
The day that I was born, I quincunxed myself!

I quincunx myself
I quincunx myself
I quincunx myself
I quincunx myself
I quincunx myself
I honestly do!...

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14 comments:

Anonymous said...

http://www.cafeastrology.com/articles/inconjunctaspects.html


..."Aspects in Astrology: The Inconjunct or Quincunx"
...
... Feeding one planet's needs is a separate activity from feeding the other planet's energies. A vague sense of guilt is often the result, and this can undermine confidence with both energies.

The key to handling quincunxes is, firstly, knowledge, and then integration. Awareness that the discrepancy lies within the personality is essential before integration can occur. Quincunxes can often make us feel that external events or other people are forcing us to separate, compartmentalize, or redirect the energies of the planets involved". ...

http://www.cafeastrology.com/articles/inconjunctaspects.html

Matthew The Astrologer said...

Right. I just think my version of it is easier to sing.

Harry Pot er said...

Has a Quincunx ever been compared to Bipolar disorder? Have you ever read about this in any scientific/ psychology /psychiatric article? Are both evidently seen in one person´s astrological chart? Is there anything that can soothe the ambiguity when one faces a Quincunx in the natal chart?

Arlene Z. said...

...Matthew your version might be easier to sing, but disastrous to experience. I have been trying to cope with it for the past years... not easy, but NOT impossible.

Matthew The Astrologer said...

Welcome to my world, Arlene...

Matthew The Astrologer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Matthew The Astrologer said...

And, Harry: in my experience, people with a Sun/Moon quincunx do seem a little more prone to depression than the average, but I usually look at other factors first.

Now that I think of it though, there does seem to be a fairly high occurence of that aspect in charts of people with anxiety issues and OCD...

Arlene Z. said...

Well. I don’t know if this would work for you guys. I thought I could share it here.

As difficult as it is, and understanding what is the “problem “in my head and spirit, here are some facts. First of all, my lack of willpower and knowing what I really wanted and needed caused a lot of pain to the people I love and loved. My two previous marriages were a complete disaster. Sometimes I wanted commitment, love, comfort and support, but my other half wanted to be free, autonomous, not to have any attachments or emotional needs. Free as a bird! Uhmm. (???)

Of course, both of my ex husbands and my boyfriends got tired of my “crazy” attitude and left absolutely devastated after loving me and not receiving what they deserved. I never “felt” ready to have a committed relationship (even if I was already married) and even less, to have children and grow up as a couple and a family, and I couldn’t express and communicate how I really felt or how my mixed emotions and thoughts were killing me.

As years passed by, I felt guilty, other times I thought I was the victim, but there was nothing I could do at that time. I used and abused drugs & alcohol. My body and my soul were slowly dying. Better said, I was killing ME. I regret now, that I was not humble enough to understand, accept and change my life.
I can’t have children now because I’m too old. I hurt two people who loved me very much, but couldn’t stand my changes and my sudden desires of “being alone and unattached”. I never stopped to think about them, about their needs or feelings. Everybody could fu** off!! . It was all about “poor Arlene” and her problems. I started projects that I never finished because I had two opinions in my head. When I felt I was good enough to make them come true, and I had all the energy, my other half was giving me negative messages, low self esteem, I underestimated my true abilities. So I just stopped the plans, the projects, the studies, everything. Fu** the rest of the humanity!!

I had periods of severe depression where all I thought was that everything was bad in my life and that there was no possible way of living a normal, happy life as other people apparently does. All this changes, thoughts and emotions, drained my energy. I felt sick. I wanted to be fine but I didn’t know how. I didn’t think I could live a different life. I couldn’t control my thoughts.

All the struggles, regrets and missed opportunities!!! Life was just happening around me and I just sit and watched! (Sometimes I just couldn’t... I was too drunk or high). After years of failure in many aspects of my life I decided to change. I understood that I was not crazy, or “bipolar”, it was this “Sun inconjunct Moon” that I had in my chart and I understood and accepted the different “energy” and “messages that I received. ...

It might sound silly, but to accept, understand and change was the solution. I wanted to take control of my life, not let life and the “planets” control me. It happened late in my life (I was 43 then), but it was not TOO late!!! Being an adult is not the same than being a child or a teenager and I needed to be an adult, not only in my ID.
Many people have severe mental or physical disabilities. And they try to live a life that fits their disabilities. So what was my problem? I had it all!! I have many abilities that I didn’t use before. I started to have control over my thoughts, control over my emotions, responsibility with my body, mind and soul, acceptance of both “energies” in my personality and to make use of the most powerful tool MY MIND. I could blame the planets, the people, and the world for my failures...but it would not be fair.

I HAVE the power to achieve a balance in my life, my work, relationships, and my feelings and emotions. I also realized that i wanted and needed somebody to share my life with (it’s a shame it was not done before). I accepted the fact that I need, want and enjoy being with a partner. My current husband has been with me during all this process and I really admire him. When I stopped looking at myself as a loser and I realized how much I could do, offer and share with people and with a partner, I started to balance the need of “being alone and away”. Apart of loving him with all my heart, I am grateful for his patience and the fact that he really understood what was going on inside my head and supported me in the good days, the bad days even in the worst crappy days, when I didn’t want to wake up in the mornings. (Even if I didn’t or don’t want to have him around and all I want to do is kick his ass!). He didn’t judge me or accused me. I feel loved. He did something that other people didn’t do: he PUSHED ME. He didn’t feel sorry for me. He didn’t think I was crazy, he trusted me he had faith in me. Also, (because he is not a quitter), he didn’t leave me when I “decided” I wanted to be alone and left home for weeks. (Then I “decided” that I wanted him back). He has been my friend, my support, my lover, my companion, my “coach”, (everything I wanted and needed even if I sometimes don’t want to accept it). It feels strange sometimes, and frequently I have to sort of fight with my “mixed thoughts.

I didn’t want to lose the opportunity of being successful in my career, of experiencing real love and being loved “just as I am”, with all my assets and flaws and my “mixed-planet-energies”. As I said... it’s NOT easy (what is?), but after all, we’re not robots controlled by the planets!!! Hello! We’re human beings, intelligent ENOUGH to CHANGE and be responsible for our life, our body mind and soul, our jobs and careers. Intelligent enough to be able to love and be loved. There is a beautiful soul and mind inside each one of us. Don’t waste the opportunity you have to change and to be happy.

You CAN HAVE WHATEVER YOU WANT!!! Just WAKE UP and try!! If you don’t make it in the first one, try 82 times more!

God bless you.

Anonymous said...

I think some quincunx sign connections maybe easier than others? For instance, certainly Sag planets with a Taurus Mars can play out with a love of the outdoors and keeping domestic or non-domestic animals. I've seen this happen more than once with farmers and rancher types.

But certainly other sign connections are less comfortable, and easy to resolve. One situations comes to mind where an Aquarian scientist with a Cancer Moon couldnot visit his native country, and nor could his child, mother and the rest of the family join him in the US. Such matters are extremely hard for a person with a Cancer Moon to handle.

I would love to hear other examples.

Anonymous said...

I found this ...

" Is this message for you? Dark days lunar eclipse..

http://thespiritualeclectic.wordpress.com/2008/08/15/is-this-message-for-you-dark-days-lunar-eclipse-august-2008/

Anonymous said...

Billiant :)
-NR

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