Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Are You There, God? It's Me... An Astrologer

Hi again. As per my previous blog entry, I'm still pounding away on the book and on my other projects, as per the handy widget on the right side of the blog. I'm also bringing back The Amazing Surprise Ten Buck Forecast Experiment and, although Version One was incredibly popular, this time it's back with a slightly improved twist. Check it out if you haven't seen it before... it's pretty cool, even if I do say so myself.

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We are now experiencing a conjunction between Jupiter and Neptune, which is something that only hits about once every twelve years. The ideal way to deal with this -- the fusion of philosophy and mysticism -- would probably be to go off into the woods, eat some mushrooms, and hallucinate a new direction in life.

Unfortunately, modern society doesn't tend to encourage the consumption of hallucinogens, even if it's in an important and time-honored spiritual context. And even if your boss does let you have the time off, good luck getting your medical coverage to pay for the psilocybin. 

So I've decided to provide the best substitute for you I can come up with on a blog. Achieve Enlightenment now... thank me later.

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For a moment, please contemplate your own, deep down, personal answer to the following question:

Is there a God? Even if you aren't all that sure, odds are good that your answer will tend to either a "yes" or a "no." Either way, think about it for a moment. 

Got that? Good. Now, ponder the following two statements carefully, in light of your answer:

IF YOU BELIEVE IN GOD: There is not a single decent shred of scientific evidence out there anywhere for the existence of a Supreme Being. What little we do know about the birth, formation, and operation of the Universe does not require a Prime Mover, Creator, or Guiding Force. And what little we know about these things is not in line with the literal word of any of the scriptures of any of the major religions... or even of any of the minor ones, so far as I know. Go ahead: ask any physicist you know whether or not they believe in God. If that physicist says "yes," then ask him/her if any of the evidence in any way, shape or form unambiguously backs that contention. Unless your physicist is a graduation of one of those "universities" founded by a preacher, the answer is going to be "no." (If you physicist buddy did graduate from Sacred Pentecost Tax Shelter U., ask about how Adam and Eve and the dinosaurs all lived together in The Garden Of Eden. What follows next should be good for a few laughs if you know anything at all about science. Or logic.)

Inescapably, all reason and evidence points to the utterly unnecessary nature of a Creator.

IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD: If you were God, and were going to have a child (The Universe)... wouldn't you want that child to be as self-sufficient as possible?

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There you have it. Contemplate until you achieve Enlightenment. And sorry I gave you work to do... this sort of thing is so much easier when there are mushrooms involved...

.

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4 comments:

Anonymous said...

LOL!!!

ex.blue said...

Matt, love, where's that forest with shrooms? Wanna go together? I really need being enlightened :)

Great post, as usual :)

Starry Night Astrology said...

Yes, well I contemplated all this in my marijuana laced college years and decided that it doesn't matter.

God is or isn't, but the burning question for me was and is "What am I going to do to make this life worthwhile for me today."

See, it really is all about us.

And the Big Guy wouldn't have it any other way.

fern's grotto said...

Just wanted to let you know I’ve nominated you for a Lemmy (Lemonade Award). It’s supposed to be for great attitude/ gratitude, which I think is something behind any great blog; yours is weird and wacky (in a good way). Further participation on your part (your own top 10, links, logo, and so on) is entirely optional; my goal was to send as many readers as possible, who hadn’t already heard of you, your way.