Thursday, December 31, 2009

2010: The Year Of Shameless Self-Promotion

Lots of people look at their calendar at the end of the year and shake their head about how the last twelve months went, and swear to do better with them. I'm no different. In this case, I've made a resolution to be more available for private consultations, and to drop my rates.

So: if you're wondering how 2010's four Mercury retorigrades, Uranus making its way into Aries in April, or that Saturn-Pluto square are going to affect you personally... or you're just wondering if your personal life and finances are going to shape up... there's never been a better time to get in touch.

Write me with your date, time, and city of birth here for more details. And a freebie! Yayyy! Happy New Year!


Monday, December 21, 2009

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: Bigger And Better Things For 2010!

Hi everyone. I'm vanishing until the New Year, but I'll be back... and in more places than ever.

There will still be the blog here, and of course there's my stuff on Astrology.com, but in 2010 you'll also be able to find my work in a new location...


Astrologydating.com is a new dating site with a difference: some sites tell you what a person's Sun Sign is, but Astrologydating.com works with your whole birth chart to suggest choices that, astrologically speaking, will really work for you. I'll be blogging about love, sex and romance there starting in January. Personally, I'm looking forward to writing for them.

The site is growing rapidly, so those of you who are looking for romance might want to sign up NOW while it's still in its free trial period. Also, by signing up now, you'll get a free Personality Profile... a good one, in fact.

And now, cheerful holiday music. See you next year!




Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Marching Through Aquarius


Jupiter and Neptune are approaching their exact conjunction in the sign of The Water Bearer. Emotionally, this is a difficult time for a lot of people, whether or not this or that in your birth chart is compatible with the Aquarian energy. Heck, even if you're an Aquarius it can be tricky.

I think this is, in part, because Aquarius is (by definition) not "of the Ego." That's the job of the Sun, which rules Leo, the opposite sign from Aquarius. And Aquarius is ruled either by Uranus or Saturn (if you're of a more traditional frame of mind)... neither of which is terribly "sunny" in their temperament. And Jupiter and Neptune aren't impersonal or above it all as Aquarius is so often accused of being. They demand immersion in the experience -- whatever that experience may be.

We all have an Ego. It's the part of you that says "It's me" and "why is this happening to me?" and "you never called me when I wanted you to." In the Western world, most people get their first exposure to Astrology because of Sun Sign forecasts, which makes sense in a way. After all, it's my horoscope I want to read.

And when life makes us less of a star than we want to be, it's the Ego that feels it, informed by the sensitivity of the Moon. So, with all that "not me" going on out there, things that would normally hurt can become real wounds, and real wounds can become debilitating injuries.

So, try this: if you are alone (literally or figuratively) and it seems that the Universe isn't rewarding you for your continued tenancy there... try forgetting yourself. Open your arms... the arms given to you by the chain of life that extends all the way back to the beginning... and accept what is being sent your way. Don't embrace it... "embracing" is an action initiated by the Ego. Let it flow through you. Losing yourself can be the path to finding yourself. Besides, it's hard to be alone when you're One With Everything.Being a very small being in a very large Universe can be frightening, but it can also be liberating.

And if that fails, remember: one way or another... the Sun always comes back, and it's always on schedule.

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Discounts on consultations? Freebie? Yes, really!

Monday, December 14, 2009

What I Do... And What I Don't Do

When I say I'm an astrologer, most people don't really know what the job entails, and that job varies from practitioner to practitioner. Let me tell you what I do.

I am a counselor, much like a regular counselor you'd see if there was a problem with your love life or your finances or your health or family. In many ways, it's exactly that straightforward. Unlike most standard counselors, I don't have to spend weeks or months fishing around for the finer details of your existence. I certainly don't know EVERYTHING from looking at a birth chart, but it saves a tremendous amount of time that way.

With a birth chart in place, we can figure out fairly quickly, and in detail, exactly who you are, where you're at, and where you're headed.

Here is what I DON'T do:

I don't tell you what (if anything) God, the Universe, Karma, or whatever really wants from you, or why. I don't feel it's my place to expound on these things. A doctor can tell you to change your diet or exercise more or whatever... but your doctor certainly shouldn't pass himself off as a divine, all-knowing sage. There are a lot of people in my line of work who come across this way. I'm not comfortable with that. If I was, I'd be a priest or a rabbi or something.

If your sink is clogged, your plumber may advise you to stop pouring bacon fat down the drain. If he spends 45 minutes first telling you about the bad karma you generated during a past life as a pig farmer in Atlantis, does that get the water flowing any faster?

I provide guidance and clarity and a context for life, plus an assessment of where things are going to go... both for yourself and for the others in your life.

Welcome aboard. I hope to see you come back soon. Heck, I might even make it worth your while.

And one more thing: yes, I can see your future too...

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Book Excerpt: Sun In Pisces

(The first episode of "Conquer The Universe With Astrology: The Radio Show" begins August 19th! Subcribe to this blog for further details... or find me on Twitter (@MatthewCurrie) or on Facebook! Hope to see you all there!)

Have you ever had that experience where you are drunk enough to do something that you know is probably a bad idea, yet still been sober enough to realize it while you're doing it? Congratulations... you have had The Pisces Experience.

The symbol for Pisces is The Fish. Or rather, two fishes, headed in opposite directions, and neither one aware of the fact that they are completely surrounded by water. Pisces people tend to be focus on the spiritual and the higher values in life. This is a nice way of saying that they aren't the most practical creatures on the planet. Pisces is naturally in tune with spiritual concepts like karma. They are the kind of people who can empathize with a dog about its mishandling as a puppy while that dog is biting them. This quality tends to make them natural "jerk magnets." On the upside, they are wonderfully compassionate lovers and companions: just ask any jerk.

Fish folks love fantasy and adventure tales, and they have a peculiar gift for turning their lives into fantasy adventure tales. Unfortunately for Pisces, there is a shortage of magic wands and Lost Arks lying around to bring these stories to a successful resolution. Thus Pisces will often invest a lot of their time and energy into alcohol and/or drugs, which usually provide a much more predictable resolution than “real life” ever could.

***


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Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Book Excerpt: Sun In Aquarius


(The first episode of "Conquer The Universe With Astrology: The Radio Show" begins August 19th! Subcribe to this blog for further details... or find me on Twitter (@MatthewCurrie) or on Facebook! Hope to see you all there!)

The symbol for Aquarius is The Water Bearer, which is confusing because Aquarius isn't a "water sign,” it's an "air sign”. And when you combine atmosphere and moisture, you get fog. That pretty much describes what the thought processes of a typical Aquarius looks like to an outside observer. Aquarius is the sign most likely to have learned that “I gotta be me” is not a valid legal defence.

Aquarians have a reputation for being forward-thinking and rebellious. That's because they'd rather organize a sit-in than follow directions at work. Whereas most people will look at the crack in a dam and fear disaster, a typical Aquarius will simply stick his finger in -- although whether they're doing it to stop the leak or pry it open wider is anyone's guess. They tend to be comfortable with the scientific, analytical mindset, which tends to make them excellent researchers and awkward first dates: no one wants to be dissected over wine and pasta.

Aquarius people have both a strong independent streak and an appreciation for the thoughts and company of others. This makes them both excellent leaders who understand the strengths of the “herd mentality” but also the one most likely to run off on their own and get themselves eaten by a wolf.

Often, Aquarians have a fondness for fantasy, science fiction, and romantic historical fiction. That’s because "the here and now" is a really awkward place to spend all your time. especially if you're a chronic misfit like Aquarius. They can be excellent lovers, but you may always have the sneaking suspicion that they have just as much affection for their sex toys as they do for you.

***

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Thursday, November 12, 2009

Can You Prove That Neptune Isn't A Socialist?


More examples of Neptune-induced cloudiness, deception, and intellectual failure, on the heels of my recent article about Sarah Palin and her ongoing free-fall into intellectual Neverland:

-Former Miss California (and former paragon of "traditional values") Carrie Prejean has recently had a sex tape (admittedly, solo) come to light, pulled an freak-out on Larry King, during a typical King softball interview (make sure you watch the Anderson Cooper clip about it), and then urged her ex-boyfriend to lie in order to back up her story about the sex tape having been made three years before it actually was... not realizing that the one time you can always count on an ex NOT lying about you is when the truth will make you look bad. Please also note the holiday pictures of Carrie and her boyfriend, where I'm sure absolutely no premarital sex happened, whatsoever.

Neptune has been squaring Carrie's Sun at 22 Taurus (and possibly her Moon too -- we don't have a time of birth) throughout her entire career fall. The Sun of course, rules how a person expresses their Ego. Also, her moon is somewhere-or-other in Scorpio, which is a great placement for making a sex tape. Also, for not wanting your sex tape to come up in public. Also, for getting cranky over minor perceived slights.

-In other Neptune news, Glenn Beck has recently recovered from an emergency appendectomy. He also had hemorrhoid surgery at the end of 2007. During this entire period of time, transiting Neptune has been conjunct Beck's natal Sun. This is a vote for Beck having Leo on the sixth house cusp (health matters), which might imply Pisces rising. Personally, I think that's a reasonable guess. Pisces can be frequently moved to tears by works of fiction, like the story about how America is falling to socialism.

Then again, Pisces is normally pretty compassionate, and so far Glenn hasn't apparently said anything about the financial ruin and/or unnecessary death he might well be facing if this had happened while he was one of America's 40 million or so people without medical coverage when this happened, and he continues to bash efforts to extend coverage to such people... so I might be wrong.

-Finally, former Vice President and Sith Lord Dick Cheney is facing questions about his role in the politically-convenient outing of a CIA agent. Transiting Neptune is currently squaring his natal Midheaven (career and public image), and normally Cheney has presented himself as efficient and whip-smart. The recently-declassified FBI document about his questioning in the matter showed that Cheney, uncharacteristically, couldn't recall the answer to a lot of questions. Seventy-two times, he couldn't recall.

My apologies if any of this appears politically partisan on my part. I assure you, it wasn't my idea to put Neptune where it is. Of course... I can't prove that I didn't, either.

***

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Book Excerpt: Sun In Capricorn


(The first episode of "Conquer The Universe With Astrology: The Radio Show" begins August 19th! Subcribe to this blog for further details... or find me on Twitter (@MatthewCurrie) or on Facebook! Hope to see you all there!)

The symbol for Capricorn is The Goat, but the ancient Babylonian symbol was a weird-looking goat/fish hybrid, because ancient Babylonians didn't have All Terrain Vehicles, which would have described Capricorn pretty well. They are solid and steady in almost every environment, and don't mind running you over to get to where they're going.

They usually worry too much about things, and even the happy ones usually end up sprouting worry lines on their forehead a little sooner than everyone else. They aren't necessarily more prone to depression than any other sign, but they are certainly more at home than most in that state of mind. What usually pulls them though is the solid determination that somehow life will be better if they can arrange things more logically.

Capricorns understand the value of keeping their nose to the grindstone, and Capricorn bosses usually keep their employee's noses ground to the cheekbones.

Goat People are usually the stable base you can build just about anything on. The men are usually reliable and hard-working. The women are sensitive enough to be hurt about all the right things, but brave enough to not let it show too much.

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Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Book Excerpt: Sun In Sagittarius


(The first episode of "Conquer The Universe With Astrology: The Radio Show" begins August 19th! Subcribe to this blog for further details... or find me on Twitter (@MatthewCurrie) or on Facebook! Hope to see you all there!)

The symbol for Sagittarius is the Centaur. That's because (although anyone can make a horse's ass of themselves) Sagittarians are actually born that way. They have an open, trusting, and bouncy approach to life, which is perhaps why they are prone to bouncing into open pits more than any other sign. Their faith in life is so deeply wired into them that they often literally don't bother to look where they are going, and thus tend to be accident-prone. That’s also the excuse they use for most of their relationship failures.

Sagittarians have a reputation for being freedom-loving and independent. This is how they like to see it -- everyone else merely thinks of them as being reckless and not taking direction well.

People are rarely surprised when a gay Sagittarius comes out of the closet, because they were usually broadcasting it to the world without trying. You can usually count on a Sagittarius to broadcast whatever is on their mind... their kid, their complaints about work, the details of their hernia operation, and so on. They are considered to be natural communicators, which is a nice way of saying they have an open-mouth policy. In the classic fairy tale "The Emperor's New Clothes," the kid who pointed out that the Emperor was actually naked was probably a Sagittarius. And if the Emperor had been one too, he would have probably countered with something like "Yeah, and it's GREAT! How do you all like my junk?"

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Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Can Sarah Palin See Neptune From Her House?


Forgive me for a moment if this entry veers too far into political territory for your tastes (or the wrong political territory) -- but Sarah Palin is once more providing an excellent example of how astrological transits (specifically, the ongoing presence of Jupiter and Neptune in Aquarius) can really mess with a person's judgement.

Although we don't know what time Ms. Palin was born at (February 11, 1964, Sandpoint Idaho), it's immediately obvious that what's driving her birth chart is her Sun-Mars-Saturn stellium in Aquarius, clustered between 22 and 25 degrees of that sign. That's where Jupiter has been between April and August 2009, and is within range of there again now.

Jupiter brings a lot of bounce and enthusiasm to whatever part of your birth chart it contacts. In Ms. Palin's case, this applies to her Ego (the Sun), her Drives (Mars), and her sense of Order (Saturn). And certainly, it's been a busy, bouncy, enthusiastic time for her. In May, she signed a book deal for a major advance. Then in June she decided to quit her job as Governor of Alaska with a year and a half to go on the job... which is pretty optimistic of her (optimism is a Jupiter thing too). And overall, she's managed to stay in the national spotlight and stay well-loved by her fan base, despite political defeat.

Neptune has also been hovering in that sector of the sky, as it has since December 2007. Neptune has an interesting effect on the birth chart. It rules things like spirituality and higher consciousness. But no planet is an entirely positive thing: Neptune also rules delusion and self-deception. One way or another, Neptune tends to cloud the judgement.

During this same period of time, Sarah Palin has endorsed a virtually-unknown third party candidate "who can't answer some basic questions" about his local politics, thus splitting the right-wing vote and costing Sarah's party a seat in Congress they have held since "jail" was spelled "gaol."

She also continues to publicly rumble with 19-year-old hockey player Levi Johnston, despite his ongoing claims to know some as-yet-unrevealed Palin family secrets that might "get her in trouble and could hurt her." The standard way to handle this sort of thing in politics would be to dismiss the whole matter as the ramblings of a 19-year-old hockey player who is only seeking attention (watch for his upcoming appearance in Playgirl).

But perhaps the most telling sign that Neptune is messing with Ms. Palin's functions? The Death Panel business.

America is currently struggling with the rightness of legislation that would give it public health care, which most of the civilized world already has. For various reasons, most right-wing politicians (who will be the first to declare that America is The Greatest Country On Earth) are of the opinion that Americans having anything better than the 38th Greatest Life Expectancy on Earth while paying The Greatest Health Care Bills On Earth is "socialism"...

...but like I said, this is about astrology, not politics...

Anyway: said legislation contains a provision for covering "end of life counseling." This means that, whereas private insurers will often deny hospice coverage to terminally ill patients (there's little profit to be had from soon-to-be-dead folks), the public coverage wouldn't leave these people on the side of the road to die the old-fashioned way.


-That's not at all what the legislation says
-Nowhere on Earth with publicly-funded health care has such a thing
-That would require legalizing euthanasia, which the legislation doesn't do
-Private health insurance does exactly that on a de facto basis by sometimes denying life-saving treatment.

Fortunately for the sake of intelligent, civilized discourse, she soon thereafter backed down from her fairly ludicrous statements, saying that "we must stick to a discussion of the issues and not get sidetracked by tactics that can be accused of leading to intimidation or harassment."

But then, mavericky creature that she is, Ms. Palin has recently returned to the mythical Death Panels as a reason to reject public health insurance, thus contradicting both what the legislation actually says and herself.

Like I said: Neptune tends to cloud the judgement.

Of course, I could point out that all this cloudy judgement is simply a more ham-fisted-than-usual example of how certain political stripes have attempted to gain and retain power via overly-simplistic fear-mongering... but I won't. After all, I'm just an astrologer. It's my job to point out the effects of the planets... not to point out the obvious.


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Book Excerpt: Sun In Scorpio


(The first episode of "Conquer The Universe With Astrology: The Radio Show" begins August 19th! Subcribe to this blog for further details... or find me on Twitter (@MatthewCurrie) or on Facebook! Hope to see you all there!)

Scorpios are the most likely sign to have a complex about what sign there are. And for good reason: Scorpios have accumulated a reputation for being vengeful, wilful, and oversexed. This is inherently unfair to a Scorpio. They aren't any worse than anyone else... they're just far more focused about it when they are being awful.

The symbol for Scorpio is the scorpion, which is a creature capable of surviving and thriving in a wide variety of difficult environments. Biologists point out that this is due to their tough build and a stinger in the tail. The truth, however, is that most scorpions are just too stubborn to die under normal circumstances. And, in the event you have one wanting to kill you, they are unlikely to give up until they've achieved that goal too.

Scorpios are easy to annoy. All you have to do is invade their privacy, ask too many questions, or turn them down for sex. They make excellent reporters and detectives, which are career paths noted for involvement with invading people's privacy, asking too many questions, and sex. This is often balanced out by a great deal of inner strength and wisdom, which was usually hard-won after years of being told they're too intense.

Once a Scorpio sets their mind to something, they are incredibly difficult to stop. And they generally don't take it well if you try. Remember that friend of yours when you were a kid who totally freaked out when he lost a game of Monopoly? That kid was probably a Scorpio.

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Monday, November 9, 2009

Saturn in Libra, Square Pluto In Capricorn

It's not suffering, per se... it's about seeing through the material things and perceiving The Truth. And sometimes... that can get a little messy. Ultimately, though, it's for the best.

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Book Excerpt: Sun In Libra


(The first episode of "Conquer The Universe With Astrology: The Radio Show" begins August 19th! Subcribe to this blog for further details... or find me on Twitter (@MatthewCurrie) or on Facebook! Hope to see you all there!)


The symbol for Libra is The Scales, which is entirely appropriate. Libras love weighing things: whether to buy this shirt or that shirt, what to say to their creditors to keep them quiet for a while, their odds of getting attention at the bar tonight, and themselves (followed by the traditional complaining). They are considered to be a peaceful, agreeable, partnership-oriented person... which is largely a scam. Ultimately, Libras aren't any more accommodating as anyone else: they simply have a gift for subtle persuasion of both themselves and others.

Libras aren't actually any more attractive than anyone else, but they tend to come across that way because they think they're attractive. Having unintentionally mastered that particular psychological trick, their next move is to cruise the horizon for a mate, like The Terminator scanning for someone to kill. Libra is often considered to be the "romantic" sign. And if by "romantic" you mean "having your way with someone and making them think it was their idea in the first place," you'd be right. That doesn't mean they are oversexed... once in a relationship, Libra can be as boring as everyone else.

Libras often appear to have little or no problem in life. That's because they have mastered the art of projection: they don't have control issues... you're the one who's acting up.

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(And now, Shakira demonstrates which body part Libra rules.)

Friday, November 6, 2009

Book Excerpt: Sun In Virgo



(The first episode of "Conquer The Universe With Astrology: The Radio Show" begins August 19th! Subcribe to this blog for further details... or find me on Twitter (@MatthewCurrie) or on Facebook! Hope to see you all there!)


The symbol for Virgo is the Virgin, which is in some ways the most misleading of all the Zodiac symbols. Virgos have just as much of a sex drive as anyone else: they're just less likely to be caught at it. They are patient, organized, and efficient people... although they will complain to you that they aren't organized or efficient enough, even when it's obvious they're better at that sort of thing than you are. Although slovenly and unkempt Virgos do exist, they are rare. Even the slovenly Virgos tend to have some area of their lives well-ordered and running efficiently... usually, their large collection of obsessions and neuroses.

People tend to think of Virgos as a little on the cold or indifferent side. This can make Virgos annoying to others, which can hurt a Virgo's feelings. They usually deal with that by presenting themselves as being a little cold or indifferent.

Virgos tend to be intelligent and focused workers, especially if the job involves organizing, cleaning, or being a martyr. They fall into the martyr role easily, being sensitive and caring people who always want to make things better. Although intelligent and knowledgeable, they often lack that sense of a "big picture." In other words: they tend to know where all the fire exits are but waste too much time cleaning out their desks when the building actually bursts into flames.



Thursday, November 5, 2009

Anvil: The Heavy Metal Key To Understanding Saturn In Libra


By now, you've undoubtedly heard that Saturn has entered Libra, and read a lot of things about how Libra is the "partnership sign" and how Saturn's presence there means your relationships will be tested, and your standards of fairness will be challenged, and how it will be more difficult to manage your budget, and so on.

This of course is all true... but I can't help but wonder if somehow Saturn's real message isn't being lost in all the details. Astrology can be like that sometimes. There are so many little details to keep an eye on that it's entirely too easy to miss the forest for the trees.

So rather than present a laundry list of what Saturn in Libra "means" or "doesn't mean"... I'd like to present you with an object lesson on how to handle it. Seriously: there is an easy way you can learn everything you need to know about surviving and thriving under Saturn in Libra... and you can rent it and watch it in an hour and a half. It also happens to be (probably) the best documentary I've ever seen.

Now... watch this trailer for "Anvil! The Story Of Anvil." Then go out and get a copy:




To summarize:

-Achieving your goals, particularly if you are an artist or other creator, is never easy.

-Making money being a creator is often difficult.

-Maintaining a partnership with someone you love is often made difficult by practical considerations.

-Often... it would be easier to just give up and let "common sense" dictate your behavior.

But more than anything, the real lesson of Saturn in Libra (or in any other sign, for that matter) is this:




Never give up.

"That's dedication, pal."

(If you're new here... welcome! Meet my show, "Conquer The Universe With Astrology")

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Book Excerpt: Sun In Leo


(The first episode of "Conquer The Universe With Astrology: The Radio Show" begins August 19th! Subcribe to this blog for further details... or find me on Twitter (@MatthewCurrie) or on Facebook! Hope to see you all there!)


The sign of Leo is ruled by the Sun, and the Sun rules the Ego. Thus, if a person's Sun is in Leo, it's a little like the inmates are running the asylum. Leos are frequently mistaken for being pompous and/or self-important. This is a common mistake: it isn't a celebrity's fault that he gets used to adoration and attention, so it probably isn't his fault that he ends up in rehab six months after his show has been cancelled. After all, egos require a lot of support – which is why Leo can often be found bitching loudly about child support payments. A Leo’s idea of hell is a place where no one notices them, except momentarily to comment on Leo’s bad hair day.

Lion People are fond of sports and games, whether it’s football, romance, or wrestling with the neighbour’s dog in the back yard. They tend to be fond of small animals, because small animals don't care when you're being clownish. In fact, small animals often prefer that approach from humans. This is why many Leos have their most successful relationships with pets. Pets accept you for who you truly are, and that sort of thing is incredibly valuable to Leos. A mere human, on the other hand, sometimes doesn’t appreciate it when a Leo is overwhelmed by their cuteness and just has to give you a squeeze right now! Leos are fond of romance, and are usually good at it. They love the thrill of the hunt and the sweetness and affection that come with the early stages of a relationship. Follow-thorough into the long term isn't their strong suit however, which is why Leos can often be found defending themselves against paternity suits, often pausing to hit on whoever is behind the counter as they file another delaying motion.


Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Book Excerpt: Sun In Cancer


(The first episode of "Conquer The Universe With Astrology: The Radio Show" begins August 19th! Subcribe to this blog for further details... or find me on Twitter (@MatthewCurrie) or on Facebook! Hope to see you all there!)
Crabs have evolved thick, impenetrable shells as an evolutionary defence against being boiled and served with melted butter. And, like a crab, cancers have evolved their personalities to defend their sweet, tasty insides from invaders.
Cancers have developed a reputation for being oversensitive, which is not surprising when the symbol for their sign is a crawly thing that's named after a deadly illness. When the ancient Romans had an unwanted child, they would often carry it off into the woods and leave it to die. When you tell most people that, they are horrified. When you tell most Cancers that, they will (on one level or another) relate it to a story from their own childhood, real or imagined. Cancers never forget a slight or an insult. Whereas other signs can usually "get over it," Cancers tend to file these things away for future reference.
Cancers are sweet, kind, caring and passionate people who often choose to hide it behind a mask of stiff, snarky indifference. Being as caring as they are is not an easy thing in a world full of jerks, thus they often disguise themselves as even bigger jerks than everyone else. You can usually see that sensitivity of theirs if you look deeply into their big sensitive eyes, but don't be surprised if they smack you one for it. No one is supposed to know these things about them, and by reading this, you've probably been quietly added to their Potential Enemies list.


Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Book Excerpt: Sun In Gemini


(The first episode of "Conquer The Universe With Astrology: The Radio Show" begins August 19th! Subcribe to this blog for further details... or find me on Twitter (@MatthewCurrie) or on Facebook! Hope to see you all there!)


Most scientists believe that life on Earth arose as a result of millions of years of random interactions, accidents, and happenstance. Thus, it appears that God is a Gemini.

The symbol for Gemini is The Twins. That leads many people to think Geminis have split personalities. This is an unfair characterization: most twins are able to agree on things and function together better than a lot of Geminis can. Gemini is the sign most likely to be told that they are over-thinking things. This is because they have a remarkable gift for seeing several sides of an issue at once, even if in fact there aren't any other sides. And often, Gemini is able to resolve and/or encompass contradictions better than most people. The primly dressed woman in the choir at church with the inverted pentagram tattoo on her ankle is probably a Gemini.

Geminis are prone to fidgeting, restlessness, nervousness, and biting their nails... interspersed with periods of quiet thoughtfulness, calm, and biting other people's nails. Telling a Gemini to "settle down" is a little like telling a peacock to stop showing off. Geminis are often popular -- the life of the party. If all of life were a party, Geminis would likely rule the world. As it stands though, most Geminis are barely able to rule themselves, let alone anyone else.

They make for gifted speakers, interesting teachers, and notorious swingers. They can be highly diplomatic when they put their minds to it, largely because they've had a lot of practice at thinking about which excuse for their behavior to present first.
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Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Book Except: Sun In Taurus

(The first episode of "Conquer The Universe With Astrology: The Radio Show" begins August 19th!Subcribe to this blog for further details... or find me on Twitter (@MatthewCurrie) or on Facebook! Hope to see you all there!)

Have you ever been half starved and had to wait in line at a fast food place while three people in front of you slowly deliberate over their very large orders? That line in front of you was Taurus.

Taurus isn't really greedy, gluttonous, covetous or jealous. It's just that they truly love money, material possessions, eating, and keeping all their stuff. Taurus is represented by the Bull, which is far and away the slowest and meatiest of the Zodiac symbols. In geometry, a "torus" is a doughnut shape, which is entirely appropriate for Taurus. Tauruses love fried food, especially if someone else paid for it. Although Tauruses are big spenders, they also like to save. This central paradox leads many Tauruses to go broke by purchasing things on sale.

Tauruses are excellent at saving energy, which they do by moving slowly. They have a reputation for being sexy and sensuous, which is generally true -- of course; things usually look more sexy and sensuous when they're filmed in slow motion. Taurus likes to deliberate a lot before they make an important decision, and they like to have a lot of options to deliberate over. If you were re-inventing the Zodiac today, instead of a bull, you wouldn't be too far off making Taurus the Buffet Table. Taurus people like to own pretty things, and they like to be pretty things. Almost any Taurus has too much of something in their lives (by other peoples standards), whether it be purses, Green Lantern action figures, lovers, or belly fat.

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Monday, October 26, 2009

Book Excerpt: Sun In Aries


(The first episode of "Conquer The Universe With Astrology: The Radio Show" begins August 19th! Subcribe to this blog for further details... or find me on Twitter (@MatthewCurrie) or on Facebook! Hope to see you all there!)

Some astrologers will tell you that the Zodiac starts with Aries because in the Northern Hemisphere, the first day of spring is also the first day of Aries. The truth is that Aries comes first simply because Aries is too impatient to wait.

If you've ever had to baby-sit a hyperactive child whose parents slipped the little darling some sugar before they left for the evening, you're familiar with how Aries energy works. Aries loves a challenge, and if they can't find one, they can usually be counted on to create one. The symbol for Aries is The Ram, long noted for its determination, strength, and fondness for head-butting.

Aries enjoys starting things up: relationships, projects, and chain saws are all favorites. It often doesn't have the same energy for following through on things. This quality can make an Aries highly entertaining to watch and highly frustrating if you're their friend, co-worker, or the neighbor’s tree hanging over Aries' driveway. The best advice you can usually give an Aries is to calm down, take it easy, and think things through. This often provokes their temper. Aries isn't necessarily a dangerously temperamental sign, but an Aries is usually at least mildly annoyed about something or other, on some level, at any given point.


Monday, August 17, 2009

On The Air!

Hi again. Just wanted to let everyone know that I'll be on Duncan Metzger's "Northern Lightworker" tonight at 6 PM Pacific Time (9 PM Eastern). I'm looking forward to it... it's always interesting. It will also be your last chance (for a while) to get autographed copies of the new book. After tonight, I'll likely be going quiet here for a while. The Astrology.com blog and "The Daily Sky" will continue to run.

Me? I'll be busy for a while. There's a Universe to be conquered out there...





Friday, August 14, 2009

It's The Lynette "Squeaky" Fromme One Day Fire Sale!

Lynette "Squeaky" Fromme (born October 22, 1948, time unknown, Santa Monica, California) was released today from prison. This happens on a day when transiting Jupter and Neptune are sextile to her natal Jupiter and trine her Sun, and Saturn has finally come off the long, ugly conjunction with her natal Venus.

Okay, I don't know how you feel about having a former Mason Family member roaming the streets. Personally, I suspect she won't be killing anyone else.

But even if you aren't a fan of having a Helter Skelter participant being free... it still shows that good transits can bring good news. So, in recognition of this principle...

Everyone ordering one or more e-books or ordering an autographed copy of the book (or requesting the three-month forecast deal) receives TWICE the bonus materials at no extra charge. Just mention Squeaky when you order.

Shameless exploitation on my part? Maybe. But, what the heck... Squeaky will probably have lots of help adjusting to life on the outside. Me? I gotta keep working for a living. And I haven't even killed anyone. Jeez.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Mars In Capricorn: Not Afraid Of Shameless Self-Promotion

Hi again, just a quick update. It turns out there are some readers out there of mine (and bless you all by the way) who weren't aware that I write a regular feature for Astrology.com. Have a look: I've been kind of busy getting ready for...

Is everyone getting tired of me beating it to death that I have a book now? I'm not... it's a Mars in Capricorn thing.

Thank you all for your readership... and your patience.

(UPDATE: Signed copies of the book with The Twenty Dollar Freebie will only be available until the 18th. For details or to order: octaviapress@hotmail.com)

And now a song about traffic lights!

Thursday, August 6, 2009

It's A Signing With Wine! (Also, There's A Book Involved)


If you are in Calgary on Saturday, August 15th, you're invited to a private book signing...

(Hey, it's still "private" if I invite the people reading my blog. We're all friends here, right..?)



And of course, for the distant or impatient, copies of the e-book are available from conquertheuniversewithastrology.com. And everyone buying in person, from the Conquer site, or buying the actual book gets the Amazing Twenty Dollar Freebie at no extra charge!



And now, an amusing tune about brain-eating zombies. You'd be amazed how many people seem to feel like they're surrounded by brain-eating zombies since the eclipse. Or, just in general during the work day.


Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Career Day: Paula Abdul Leaves "American Idol" Just In Time For The Eclipse

It has been confirmed that Paula Abdul (born June 19, 1962, 2:32 PM, San Fernando California) is leaving American Idol. I wrote about Paula almost exactly a year ago, and figured that the processes that would lead to her leaving were coming to a peak in January of this year.

Although I don't follow Paula Abdul news that closely (she's already had her fair share of trouble with stalkers), I did find two stories of possible significance that happened in January of this year.


(Make up your own Gemini joke here, people.)


So: we have difficult times with co-workers and the potential promise of greater personal glory. And what do we see for Paula's transits around the time of her announcement that she's leaving?

  • Neptune and Jupiter (to a lesser extent) are trine her natal Sun while passing through her natal 5th House, and Uranus is squaring it from her Sixth House. Translation: "I feel really good about myself, except I'm not getting enough recognition at work."
  • Her secondary progressed Sun is being conjuncted by the transiting Sun. Translation: "Look at me! Look at me!"

With all that Sun action going on, Paula's likely feeling good about things. Of course a cynic (or an astrologer) might have warned her about letting Ego issues get in the way of making wise decisions.

Her secondary progressed Venus is rolling into the exact square with her natal Sun. Translation: "Yes, I really do feel good about myself. Maybe excessively good."

As for today's Lunar Eclipse in Aquarius? It's squaring her natal Mars. Translation: "I'm going to spend the next while taking action, whether that action is well-thought-out or not."

Don't be surprised if in the next few days you hear some pronouncements from Paula about how everything is great. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be too surprised if he hear something fairly soon about that talk show, or some other major project that will make Paula bigger and better than ever.

Of course, I can't help but wonder if Paula's next major hint will be a star turn on "Celebrity Rehab."


Want to learn some astrology, maximize your sexiness, laugh a lot, seduce someone, and save some money? Click here for all the juicy details!


Tuesday, August 4, 2009

The Awesome Transformational Power Of Venus Opposite Pluto

That's not your love life straining at the seams... it's a transformational experience. Let's stay positive about things, shall we...?

"Mrs. Nordberg, I think we can save your husband's arm. Where would you like it sent?"

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"Love And Seduction By Starlight is now available! Click here for all the juicy details!

Monday, August 3, 2009

Conquer The Universe With Astrology: Love And Seduction By Starlight


My latest book in the "Conquer The Universe" series is now available: "Love And Seduction By Starlight."

Love? Sure. But... why seduction?

As an astrologer, the majority of consultations I do are centered on issues related to Love. And… whether you planned it that way or not… seduction is a part of the process, as surely as the salesman is a part of the process when you buy a car. Everyone, of course, likes to think they’re above that. The very word “seduction” conjures images of users and bleary-eyed mornings of regret. And sure: sometimes that’s what seduction ends with, just like there really are a few crooked car salesmen out there.

But the truth is that “salesmanship” is a part of life whenever you interact with someone new. No matter how qualified you may feel you are for a job, you still spell-check your résumé and dress nicely. Besides, "seduction" isn't just a ploy: done properly, it's the first gift of yourself you present to a potential romantic partner.

Most of the clients I have come to me with one of two major issues:

  • Where is the love that I really want/need?
  • Why is the love I have not working out the way I want it to?

…And to be perfectly honest, more often than not the answer(s) to those questions boil down to two very simple factors:

  • You don’t fully understand the assets you have, or you aren’t using them properly
  • You don’t really understand how your partner is wired.

This e-book -- 68 pages delivered in .PDF format -- will give you the tools you need to understand yourself, your moods, and how you interact with and love others. It will also give you the means to get a fully-formed handle on the people you love (or would like to love, or would like to have loving you).

"Love And Seduction" contains:
  • The previously released Sun and Moon sections.
  • The all new "Personal Planets" section. Learn how Mercury, Venus and Mars affect how you love and who you love.
  • Special sections on how to use the power of your Venus and Mars.
  • All twelve of my "Compatibility Guides," with notes on how to quickly and easily use them to expand your knowledge of astrology beyond just Sun Sign stuff.
Look up your own placements first, and see how those various pictures add up to make you who you are. If you have the birth data for anyone you have (or had) a relationship with (or unrequited love, or desire, or real contempt for) in past, look them up too. Before long, you’ll find yourself saying “Why didn’t I know this before! Think of all the time and trouble I could have saved myself!”

Also: the better you understand yourself and others using astrology, the more money you’ll save on counsellors, bad dates… and astrologers. You’ll thank me later…

Also: For all those of you who arrived here via Google looking for "How to seduce" an Aries Taurus Gemini Cancer Leo Virgo Libra Scorpio Sagittarius Capricorn Aquarius Pisces Man (or Woman)... you've arrived at the right place.

Don't take my word for it. Here's an early review:

"I find your writing style delightful - as if you are sharing secrets with me - taking the complicated interpretation of mathematical calculations and scientific understandings and making it all approachable, knowable. This is a careful and considered, step-by-step laying down of the fundamentals in applying astrology to our lives, and yet, carefully-considered though it may be, does not seem contrived - rather, it flows like a conversation one might have with a mentor - informative, insightful, and inspired...and always, witty."
-AP, Calgary

Write me with your date, time, and city of birth here for more details. Also, you get a free no-obligation surprise!

Sunday, August 2, 2009

How To Seduce A Cancer Man

It's easy. All you have to do is cultivate the right attitude. Particularly... this attitude:

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Want the REAL goods on how to seduce a Cancer man... or anyone else? Click here for all the juicy details!

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Saturday, August 1, 2009

Moon In Cancer On The Ascendant, Trine Chiron Conjunct Midheaven

When it comes to the traits of our own birth chart, we can be a little like a fish that never realizes it's completely surrounded by water. But today, as the Moon passed through my Sixth House, I started to think about my heroes, and it all made sense.

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Thursday, July 30, 2009

Ladies And Gentleman...


Jeffrey Kishner of Sasstrology.com and I are proud to announce the birth of...


Drop by and have a look!


It's a reading, it's a forecast, it's a book... all for less than the cost of a reading! It's Conquer The Universe With Astrology! And the amazing Recession Buster Forecast Deal is still going strong! Write me with your date, time, and city of birth here for more details. And please specify if you are interested in the book, the Recession Buster forecast, or both. They're both good, and both come with surprise bonuses!

Saturn: The Onion Sombrero


I wrote a blog elsewhere once, wherein I used to complain about politics and pop culture and anything else that dared to wander into my snarky gaze.

One of the targets of my self-righteous fury was a particular commercial for Coke Zero. To wit:

"You may have recently been exposed to a commercial for Coke Zero involving a disembodied tongue, eyeball, and brain, debating the merits of Coke Zero while a second tongue stands in the distance and watches...

No, this is not something that happened to me on LSD. It's a real commercial.

The thing ends with the brain breaking up the tongue/eyeball debate. He threatens to make the tongue eat dirt, and ends with this very peculiar threat to the eyeball:

"You are going to have to wear the onion sombrero. All. Day. Long. Señor."

I've seen the ad several times and I can confirm that yes, the brain does say "onion sombrero." At first I wondered if this was some slang term I simply hadn't heard before, like "Dirty Sanchez."

I think I have uncovered the secret of The Onion Sombrero. I think Coke is trying to launch a meme. It's a catchy phrase, and a Google search reveals that the phrase didn't exist prior to the commercial. And hey, if Google can't find something, it doesn't exist, right?"

I was (and still am) of the belief that "onion sombrero" was a deliberate attempt to manufacture a "meme," that is: a rogue bit of cultural data that takes off on its own and infects the minds of thousands, if not millions.

I have almost forgotten about this, until recently when the ad in question came back. And then I heard a teenager on the street use the term "onion sombrero" with one of his buddies.

I've heard various opinions as to what this vegetable headgear is... the most likely explanation I've heard is that it is "a contact lens."

Personally: I've come to the conclusion that, astrologically at least... Saturn is the Onion Sombrero. Saturn is, literally or figuratively, something you threaten someone with. Saturn is restriction and suffering.

Of course, Saturn is also structure and order and bones and skin, without which you (literally and figuratively) wouldn't have a leg to stand on. And, just as the phrase "onion sombrero" may have you scratching your head and saying "Wha...?," Saturn may have you rubbing the lumps it put on your head and saying "Why me?"

So, if you see this Coke Zero ad: try not to be puzzled. The weird imagery and odd choice of words are all deliberate attempts to bamboozle your mind into buying a carbonated drink that you don't really need.

On the other hand, if you are confronted by Saturn, remember that you do really need it, even if it isn't very comfortable. And it will pass. And odds are good you'll come out of the other side of a Saturn Transit a better person, one way or another.

One's bad for your teeth. The other is good for your soul.

It's a reading, it's a forecast, it's a book... all for less than the cost of a reading! It's Conquer The Universe With Astrology! And the amazing Recession Buster Forecast Deal is still going strong! Write me with your date, time, and city of birth here for more details. And please specify if you are interested in the book, the Recession Buster forecast, or both. They're both good, and both come with surprise bonuses!

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Celebrity Gossip Is Wrong (Plus: Celebrity Gossip Roundup!)

First of all, my apologies to anyone famous I've written about here on my blog. I realize that your lives are difficult enough, what with all the staring and pointing and unreasonably huge book advances... but I know people like me don't help. And I suppose it's kind of rude of me to be prying into your lives and birth charts.

On the other hand, the Moon is in Scorpio today, and everyone feels like prying into other people's business. And hey: I need the exposure.

So: here's my Celebrity Round-Up, sorted by Celebrity in more-or-less random order. If any of you out there want me to stop, feel free to buy my book drop me a line!


It's a reading, it's a forecast, it's a book... all for less than the cost of a reading! It's Conquer The Universe With Astrology! And the amazing Recession Buster Forecast Deal is still going strong! Write me with your date, time, and city of birth here for more details. And please specify if you are interested in the book, the Recession Buster forecast, or both. They're both good, and both come with surprise bonuses!

Monday, July 27, 2009

And Now... "Astrological Cliché Corner," Starring Morgan Freeman!

One of the great frustrations of being an astrologer, at times, is the way beginners can take a few basics and jump to conclusions based on them. Like for example:

  • Geminis are not afraid to make unconventional choices with their lives, and if that Sun is ruled by a Mercury in Taurus, they are often pleasure-centered choices.
  • People with Moon in Pisces tend to make unrealistic emotional choices.

Some other astrological clichés I hate? People with Venus in Aries make impulsive, poorly-thought-out love matches for themselves... especially when that Mercury is aspected by Uranus. Or another one: people with Mars in Scorpio have powerful sex drives that can lead them to unsuitable relationships. And any Vedic astrologer might point out that someone with Jupiter in Capricorn might be more prone that the average person to marry someone of a significantly different age... and then that astrologer would immediately point out that it isn't that simple, either.

Astrology, like life itself, is far more complex than that. Honestly: such generalizations do far more harm than good. And furthermore --

Dammit! Way to screw up my point, Morgan Freeman! Anyway... hope things work out with you and your 27 year old stepdaughter/fiancee E'Dina Hines.



It's a reading, it's a forecast, it's a book... all for less than the cost of a reading! It's Conquer The Universe With Astrology! And the amazing Recession Buster Forecast Deal is still going strong! Write me with your date, time, and city of birth here for more details. And please specify if you are interested in the book, the Recession Buster forecast, or both. They're both good, and both come with surprise bonuses!

Haiku: When Cancers Fall For Each Other

The butter's melted,
We smash each other open
With little hammers.


It's a reading, it's a forecast, it's a book... all for less than the cost of a reading! It's Conquer The Universe With Astrology! And the amazing Recession Buster Forecast Deal is still going strong! Write me with your date, time, and city of birth here for more details. And please specify if you are interested in the book, the Recession Buster forecast, or both. They're both good, and both come with surprise bonuses!