Are You Ready For More Dick?

"Saturn and Neptune aren't done with Dick (Cheney) yet. Stay tuned."

-Me, about three and a half months ago, on Dick Cheney

There are few things in life an astrologer likes than being right... even if it's about bad news. Former US Vice President Dick Cheney (who we all thought we were done with a while ago) is back in the news. And, as is usually the case for Dick, the news isn't good.

As you may recall, there was a story floating around the fringes of that Liberal Media you keep hearing abut that Dick had his own private hit squad while Vice President. This of course was quietly dismissed as partisan politics. Those charges may seem a little less paranoid in light of recent statements that Dick went “outside the law” when it came to not letting other members of the government know about certain CIA activities.

Which CIA activities? Secret stuff. Spy stuff. Maybe death squad stuff... we just aren't sure.

What am I sure about? Well, for one thing, transiting Saturn is now conjunct Dick's secondary-progressed Moon, ruler of his eleventh House ("love received"), and he certainly doesn't seem to have won any one's hearts with this latest set of rumors. I'm also sure transiting Jupiter and Neptune quincunxing natal Ascendant ruler Mercury isn't very good for public image.

One more thing I'm sure about? The transiting Sun (so often called a malefic in Vedic astrology, and so often causing me to agree) will be passing through Dick Cheney's 12th House (hidden matters) starting in about a week and a half, and continuing until mid to late August.

...and I'm sure there's going to be more legal activity that backs up the rumors. You heard it here first.

(Then again, maybe I'm just imagining that because I really, really like to see justice done, and I really, really like America in general, and I really, really wish they'd turn on those of their own who pervert its own best principles. Who knows? I'm an idealist. Like I said, we'll see...)

Dick Cheney: January 30, 1941, about 7:30 PM, Lincoln, Nebraska.)

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Public Embarassment - Saturn and Neptune Bring Dick Cheney's Hit Squad To Light

When you have Virgo rising (ruled by Mercury), and your Mercury is in Aquarius in the Sixth House, people won't generally see you as a sympathetic character, especially when it comes to your approach to how you do your job. And when transiting Neptune is conjuncting that Mercury, and the transiting Moon is squaring your Ascendant, and Saturn is passing through your First House, don't be too surprised if some of your less-than-ethical job practices are revealed to the public.

...Kind of like right now for former US Vice President Dick Cheney. The story about JSOC, Dick Cheney's private Death Squad which I discussed here two weeks ago, and which was at first completely ignored or dismissed as left-wing lunacy, is finally on CNN.

Saturn and Neptune aren't done with Dick yet. Stay tuned.

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How To Tell If Your Boss Is A Dick: A True-Life Parable About Compatibility

Unfortunately, most people aren't able to select a job by compiling birth data for all their possible bosses and then choosing the best match. It's usually luck of the draw. But what if you could? Wouldn't it be nice to pick a boss as dedicated to the goal as you are?

Suppose you join the US military for any of the usual reasons: you want to serve your country, you're worried about your enemies, it's what Dad did, you can't afford an education on your own... whatever motivates you. It turns out you're pretty good at field operations and sneaking up on people and such, so you find yourself assigned to a special unit. Let's call it "JSOC"... Joint Special Operations Command. It has a nice Tom Clancy-ish ring to it.

You meet your new boss. He has Virgo rising, so you know he has good attention to detail. The ruler, Mercury, is in the 6th House in Aquarius... excellent attention to detail, and an ability to see "the big picture." And that Mercury is trine its own ruler, Uranus. Uranus in his birth chart is in the 9th House... higher mind and philosophical ideals. So this new boss of yours is obviously the kind of guy who can pick a goal and stick to it. And, since Uranus is involved, he isn't afraid to break a few rules to get what he wants.

On top of that, let's say you are also highly compatible with this new boss. With the right ideas and the right dedication, an employee-boss combo like that could achieve a lot of goals most others couldn't hope for. The world is yours!

I don't have any birth charts for any members of JSOC. I only have birth data for their boss, Richard "Dick" Cheney, former US Vice President. Dick was born January 30, 1941, at 7:30 PM in Lincoln, Nebraska. Almost every other astrology blogger on the Internet has been all over his chart for years now, so I'm not going to go into tremendous detail... just his qualities as a boss.

Dick had a lot of dedication to the cause (ruler of the 1st House in the 6th). Dick had the ability to find like-minded people (Ascendant ruler in Aquarius, trine its own ruler). Dick had a gift for staying loyal (6th House ruler in the 9th House).

Dick Cheney, it seems, also had a private Death Squad. It's called JSOC.

There aren't really any rulers of "good" or "evil" in a birth chart. You can tell how attached a person gets to their goals, and what kind of follow-through they have in achieving them, though.

Isn't working towards a common goal with a like-minded boss great?

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Can You Prove That Neptune Isn't A Socialist?

More examples of Neptune-induced cloudiness, deception, and intellectual failure, on the heels of my recent article about Sarah Palin and her ongoing free-fall into intellectual Neverland:

-Former Miss California (and former paragon of "traditional values") Carrie Prejean has recently had a sex tape (admittedly, solo) come to light, pulled an freak-out on Larry King, during a typical King softball interview (make sure you watch the Anderson Cooper clip about it), and then urged her ex-boyfriend to lie in order to back up her story about the sex tape having been made three years before it actually was... not realizing that the one time you can always count on an ex NOT lying about you is when the truth will make you look bad. Please also note the holiday pictures of Carrie and her boyfriend, where I'm sure absolutely no premarital sex happened, whatsoever.

Neptune has been squaring Carrie's Sun at 22 Taurus (and possibly her Moon too -- we don't have a time of birth) throughout her entire career fall. The Sun of course, rules how a person expresses their Ego. Also, her moon is somewhere-or-other in Scorpio, which is a great placement for making a sex tape. Also, for not wanting your sex tape to come up in public. Also, for getting cranky over minor perceived slights.

-In other Neptune news, Glenn Beck has recently recovered from an emergency appendectomy. He also had hemorrhoid surgery at the end of 2007. During this entire period of time, transiting Neptune has been conjunct Beck's natal Sun. This is a vote for Beck having Leo on the sixth house cusp (health matters), which might imply Pisces rising. Personally, I think that's a reasonable guess. Pisces can be frequently moved to tears by works of fiction, like the story about how America is falling to socialism.

Then again, Pisces is normally pretty compassionate, and so far Glenn hasn't apparently said anything about the financial ruin and/or unnecessary death he might well be facing if this had happened while he was one of America's 40 million or so people without medical coverage when this happened, and he continues to bash efforts to extend coverage to such people... so I might be wrong.

-Finally, former Vice President and Sith Lord Dick Cheney is facing questions about his role in the politically-convenient outing of a CIA agent. Transiting Neptune is currently squaring his natal Midheaven (career and public image), and normally Cheney has presented himself as efficient and whip-smart. The recently-declassified FBI document about his questioning in the matter showed that Cheney, uncharacteristically, couldn't recall the answer to a lot of questions. Seventy-two times, he couldn't recall.

My apologies if any of this appears politically partisan on my part. I assure you, it wasn't my idea to put Neptune where it is. Of course... I can't prove that I didn't, either.

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Celebrity Gossip Is Wrong (Plus: Celebrity Gossip Roundup!)

First of all, my apologies to anyone famous I've written about here on my blog. I realize that your lives are difficult enough, what with all the staring and pointing and unreasonably huge book advances... but I know people like me don't help. And I suppose it's kind of rude of me to be prying into your lives and birth charts.

On the other hand, the Moon is in Scorpio today, and everyone feels like prying into other people's business. And hey: I need the exposure.

So: here's my Celebrity Round-Up, sorted by Celebrity in more-or-less random order. If any of you out there want me to stop, feel free to buy my book drop me a line!

• Michael Jackson.
• Morgan Freeman.
• Carrie Prejean.
• Don LaFontaine.
• Octomom.
• Natasha Richardson/Liam Neeson.
• Dick Cheney.
• Sarah Palin.
• Glenn Beck.
• Dr. Phil McGraw.
• Britney Spears.
• Paula Abdul.
• George W. Bush.
• Ann Coulter.

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