The Universe shouldn't be something that "just happened to you." Conquer it with Astrology! Fun, advice, and an entire Universe in just one show! THIS EPISODE: Can opener? Check. Shotgun? Check. Dehydrated food? Check. Okay, it's safe to look at this year's Big Eclipse... tomorrow... and see how it's going to affect you!
Tonight at 10 PM Eastern (7 PM Pacific): Two hours of non-stop astrological edjucatainment!
HOUR ONE: My guest will be BALROK from "Creepy KOFY Movie Time," the legend of San Francisco late-night television. I'll be discussing what it is in his chart that makes him the ideal man for his job, and I uncover a top-secret project from Balrok's near future!
HOUR TWO: April Elliot Kent returns to discuss her new book that will help you learn astrology from the ground up, help you impress your friends, and ... maybe... get a date!
PLUS: Drinking and Eclipsing with Amy Winehouse, another installment of "How's Matthew's Ass?", and our new feature... "Your Soul Mate Is Hiding In Our Chat Room." Of course, for that one... you should really join us live and be in the Chat Room.
Sure, there are other astrologically-based things you could do this evening... but they all suck waaaay more than tonight's show will. Guaranteed.
TOMORROW: The biggest and bestest "Conquer The Universe With Astrology" ever, featuring both BALROK from San Francisco's legendary "Creepy KOFY Movie Time"...
...and astrologer April Elliot Kent drops by to explain how her new book can change your life! (Well, I figure it could, anyway. She's a little more modest about it.)
PLUS: Your Soulmate Is Hiding In Our Chat Room, and another installment of "How's Matthew's Ass?"
Did I mention your soulmate is hiding in our Chat Room?
On an all-new "Conquer The Universe With Astrology" tonight...
-Astrologer Claire-France Perez will discuss becoming an astrologer, the Lot Of Fortune, marketing, and dogs.
-Your questions answered! Call me on-air at (323) 443-7252!
-And we'll discuss the effects of Wednesday's lunar eclipse on the City Of Vancouver, The Vancouver Canucks, and in a brand new feature, we'll answer the question... "How Is Matthew's Ass?"
"Welcome to Geminis Hair Salon! Today's Special... the Sun (Ego) and Mercury (Thought) are conjunct! Can I get you a coffee? Tea, perhaps? Diet drink? Sangria? Root Beer? Milkshake? Prune Juice? Vodka Martini? Anyway, Today's Special is bound to lead to lots of bold new thinking! That's always a good thing, right? Now, were you looking for a trim? A perm? Dye job? How about extensions, or... I know! A Mohawk! I hear they're coming back! Oh, as I was saying... yes, lots and lots of ideas floating around today, and I'm sure they're all really, really practical and constructive! Brush cut? How about an Afro? Ever try the Bettie Page look? How about highlights? Um, wait a second... what was my original point?
...oh, right... Welcome to Geminis Hair Salon!Today's Special... the Sun (Ego) and Mercury (Thought) are conjunct!"
The Universe shouldn't be something that "just happened to you." Conquer it with Astrology! Fun, advice, and an entire Universe in just one show! TONIGHT: The last show EVER. Well, not really... it's just changing and I love being dramtic. Listen in for details!
Today on a special Wednesday edition of "Conquer The Universe With Astrology": Jupiter enters Taurus. How will affect you in the coming year? PLUS: It's Solar Eclipse Day! How will this affect you personally?
