House, MD: Astrologer

(SCENE: The conference room at Princeton-Plainsboro Hospital. DR. GREGORY HOUSE stands leaning on his cane at the whiteboard at the front of the room. He addresses his assistants: DRS. FOREMAN, CAMERON, and CHASE.)

HOUSE: Patient is a 42 year old male. Was admitted yesterday complaining of short-temperedness, lack of direction, diminished self-confidence, and ennui. He's unresponsive to the usual stimuli.

FOREMAN: Easy. Saturn opposition.

HOUSE: C'mon Foreman... if it was really that straightforward, would it be our Case Of The Week?

CAMERON: The test results indicate that transiting Uranus is also squaring his Sun, and conjuncting his Midheaven. There's probably a lot of stress around his career and vision of himself in life.

HOUSE: True. But let's not get all psychological about this. I hate that sort of thing.

CHASE: But sometimes these things are psychological! Besides, he's having his Neptune square now.

FOREMAN: Natal Neptune in the Fifth House, Transiting Neptune edging into his Ninth. That's got "philosophical crisis" written all over it.

CAMERON: Plus depression. Let's not forget that transiting Pluto is opposing his natal Jupiter.

CHASE: Treatment should be obvious then.

HOUSE: Right. Put him in a freezer for another six months, thaw him out when the transits are over, and he can get on with his life. Okay, next case --

CHASE: You can't do that!

CAMERON: He needs to work through these things!

FOREMAN: It's obvious. The patient is undergoing a number of bad transits, Uranus is conjuncting his natal Chiron... a planet the patient himself admits he often neglects in his own chart. He could work through this by understanding his basic internal symbolic composition.

HOUSE: I hate that Jungian crap!

CAMERON: But if the patient is able to find philosophical meaning in it, that will keep him alive until these transits pass. It's a lot better than freezing him, anyway.

CHASE: Maybe some form of creative outlet would help.

FOREMAN: Maybe... writing a blog entry about it!

CAMERON: That's brilliant!

CHASE: Chiron really can be useful in a practical way, you know.

HOUSE: (Waving his cane angrily) You give me that "wounded healer" crap one more time and I swear I'll use this thing on you!

.

.
(Read all my latest stuff HERE, for free. Maybe find your soul mate too...)

(Looking for a consultation, or information on my e-books? Write me HERE. You might just get a freebie out of it...)