MODERATOR: Thank you for joining us for the first in a series of debates for the leadership of the Zodiac. Tonight, Gemini and Sagittarius will discuss the issues. Sagittarius has won the coin toss --
SAGITTARIUS: Well, I do have the reputation for being lucky...
MOD: -- and will go first. Sag?
SAG: Thanks. A lot of people have complained that there is no real choice in this election. I'd like to take the time now to point out the many significant differences between myself and my opposing sign. First of all --
SAG: Beg your pardon?
GEM: You know, supposedly I have the reputation for being the yappy one. Two to one though says you've got ten minutes of material there about how you're all philosophical and stuff, and how I'm just "flighty."
SAG: Have you been reading my notes?
GEM: No, I just know you. I know how you can take one philosophical stance... whether you've really thought it through or not... and spin it into a long tale that sounds like it's all well thought out. But sometimes it isn't. And I'm calling you on it.
SAG: Listen, scatterbrain: you haven't thought out your positions well enough to call anyone on anything. I say you just catalogue data and then use that to argue against anyone who thinks differently from you.
GEM: And that's so different from you how, exactly?
SAG: I... you suck!
GEM: Yeah, well YOU suck!
MOD: Please, could we return to the debate please?
SAG: Who's the nimrod who hired Virgo to moderate this thing anyway?
GEM: Yeah. Virgo's kind of like us in a way, but they're so... Virgo-ish.
SAG: Yeah. They're that thing, that Virgo thing. They're so... they're like the intellectual hallway monitors of the Zodiac.
GEM: Good one, dude! (pauses) This debate sucks.
SAG: Yeah. Hey, wanna go drinking?
GEM: Sure, let's go. I'll drive.
SAG: No, I'll drive.
GEM: No, I'll drive!