Wednesday, June 10, 2009 A Love Song For Pluto In Capricorn



Well I married my dream girl,
I married my dream girl

(Ah, the reality kicks in. We all start relationships on an emotional high, but it only serves to cover the flaws. In this case, your Dream Girl isn't going to be of financial benefit to you. Maybe you shouldn't be a husband at all... pimping is probably more your style.)

But she didn't tell me her credit was bad

(Don't you hate the terrible lies that always seem to screw up a relationship? This is why you shouldn't even go on a first date without a background check. Better get a blood panel and DNA test done too before dinner and a movie.)

So now instead of living in a pleasant suburb
We're living in the basement at her
Mom and Dad's

(Now, by "we," do you mean you and her... or you, her, and your apparently unemployed buddies who sit around the in-law's basement singing songs about how your bride has screwed your material ambitions? I'll bet her Mom and Dad are huge fans of the band, shouting requests at you from upstairs. "Now do the one about how she can't cook!")

No we can't get a loan for a respectable home
Just because my girl defaulted
on some old credit card

(That bitch! I'll bet she didn't get breast implants and had that threesome in college just to spite you, too.)

If we'd gone to free credit report dot com
I'd be a happy bachelor with a dog and a yard.

(Dude: there's no reason why you can't be a bachelor right now. As a matter of fact, I'll bet you will be soon enough. Then you and your band can go live in the park, where there are lots of dogs!)

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