VENUS: It's ME baby!
MTA: Wha.... who?
VEN: Venus! Your old girl, Venus!
MTA: Oh, uh... hi. Have you been drinking?
VEN: Not too much. I've been wanting to talk to you for ages now.
MTA: And you being drunk has nothing to do with it, I'm sure. How's the retrograde working out for you?
VEN: I have a bone to pick with you about that. Everyone wants to say I'm deblil--... debullet--... deboobliated...
VEN: Debilitated in Aries, and retrograde, and everyone's picking on me for it. You're the only man who realizes that, Vedically, I'm actually in Pisces. And I'm exalted!
MTA: Yes, dear. You're not nearly as bad as everyone thinks.
VEN: Damned right! And I'm sick and tired of -- (there is a surprised yelp on the other end of the line, and a sound of clattering wine glasses hitting the floor)
MTA: Are you okay, Venus?
VEN: I retrograded over the cat and fell. Where was I?
MTA: You were saying something about how Venus Retrograde is the kind of time when people have a chance to review old relationships and re-evaluate the things that make them happy, and that (although it can be awkward) it's ultimately important... because it can be a chance to vanquish old emotional ghosts, or maybe re-evaluate what you once had but is gone?
VEN: Right. You're awesome, Matty!
MTA: Um, thanks. Just doing my job.
VEN: Oh, job! That reminds me... how's work?
MTA: Going pretty good.
VEN: Have you told people about that amazing Recession Buster Astrology offer of yours?
MTA: Not so far, today.
VEN: Get on that! I rule love AND money, you know. Well, sort of. That bastard Jupiter hogs a lot of the limelight. Speaking of money... where's my purse? The Booze Delivery Wagon is here...
MTA: You've got one of those there in the Zodiac?
VEN: I'm a Goddess, baby... I get everything.
MTA: So it seems this whole retrograde in Aries thing is working for you. At least you seem to be having fun with it...
VEN: Ugh, gotta go... I'm going to be sick...
(VENUS hangs up.)