Saturday, May 29, 2010

Uranus In Aries, Part Three: Where The Rebellion Happens

So here we are, with Uranus in Aries, and the world hasn't blown up yet. But the fuse is lit, and big explosive change is coming... even if it's a prolonged, quiet explosion. Here's how it's most likely to affect you, by Sign. If you know your Rising Sign, read it from that angle too. Stay calm, make sure your helmet is on, and get ready for (potentially) the best blow-up ever!

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Astrology Dating's Weekend Romance Horoscope: May 28-30, 2010

Working for an astrology dating site such as this, you'd expect me to write a weekend forecast to consist mostly of astrological dating tips, and you'd be right. And this weekend is certainly going to stir up feelings... romantic and sexual feelings among them... but those things will just be a part of the larger background noise created by Friday's Full Moon in Sagittarius. Think of it as the opening shot as Uranus moves into Aries. All the churn and weirdness of the last couple of months are coming to a peak. So, get out and have fun, or do something or other to vent the pressure...

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Listen, Laugh, Get Free Stuff!

Listen at 11 PM Eastern, 8 PM PST, 0400 UT, when I'll be on "Lisa The Punk Rock Psychic." Join in, have fun, get free stuff!

Friday, May 21, 2010

Astrology Dating's Weekend Romance Horoscope: May 22-24, 2010

This weekend is a little like the opening scenes of a big-budget adventure movie: there's a sense that something big is building, but no obvious signs of explosions... yet. And, like the lead character at the beginning of one of those movies, this weekend is best suited to dialogue and establishing relationships. Now would be a good time to make sure someone is in that shelter with you when the tsunami/asteroid/dinosaur hits...

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Uranus In Aries, Part Two: Fear Of A San Francisco Planet

Why are so many people afraid of San Francisco?

When I told my friends I was going to San Francisco about a year ago, the responses were mixed. Sure, they were generally happy for me, and of course they all had visions of me seeing the Golden Gate Bridge and the Transamerica Building and Chinatown and the trolley cars and the murals in the Mission district and all the touristy stuff that compels people to come here. But often, there was a faint but distinct undertone to it all:

San Francisco may infect and change you.

The funny thing is that, despite what Rush Limbaugh or your minister or your Dad told you about it, San Francisco is not "overrun" with gay people or hippies or socialists or any of the other things people often loudly fear... usually for entirely personal reasons. Yes, it's absolutely true: I have seen more naked men (except for a bondage harness) flogging each other in the streets than I have anywhere else. Yes, I have seen more angry protesters demanding that everything, everywhere should be nationalized immediately than I have anywhere else. I've also seen more drunken hooligans dressed like Santa Claus, more completely whacked out junkies, more damaged hippies, more people wearing outfits that match what their Chihuahua is wearing, and more cupcakes here than anywhere else I've lived.

Yes. It's true. There are a lot of cupcakes in San Francisco. A lot. They don't tell you that in the tourist guides, but they should.

What I learned about San Francisco is this:...

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Uranus In Aries, Part One: The Real Revolution Will Not Be Marketed

Uranus, astrology's planet of Freaky Rebellion, is in the final degree of Pisces (the sign it has been in since 2003) and is about to enter Aries. And there is a revolution in the works... but it probably isn't the revolution you were expecting. Personally, I am mostly pleased about this: Pisces has never struck me as a decent place for Uranus to do its job, and if you look at the department of your life that has been freaky since 2003 or so, you're likely to agree. Wherever Uranus lands in your birth chart, it creates unusual circumstances which usually require some choice on your part. It shakes things loose and creates both opportunity and anarchy. Facing weird circumstances can be uncomfortable, but having a lot of choices as to how you run your life is a good thing... right?

Maybe not.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Astrology Dating's Weekend Romance Horoscope: May 14-16, 2010

Forget what you think you know about a New Moon in Taurus. Sure: it comes with an urge to be materialistic, to sensuality, and has a potential for excess. That's all true. The really important thing to keep in mind is that the New Moon is an excellent time to make plans and think out your intentions for the next month, and that makes this New Moon particularly important... because before the end of this month, the entire Universe is going to explode, and it's going to take you and me and everyone else with it.

Okay not really but just in case don't you want to go out and have fun this weekend?

Friday, May 7, 2010

Weekend Romance Horoscope: May 7-9, 2010

Venus is at the halfway point in Gemini. It's made a little more powerful by the fact that it is in what astrologers call "mutual reception": in this case, it's in a sign ruled by Mercury, and Mercury is (in turn) in a sign ruled by Venus. Think of it as two friends house sitting for each other: both have their reasons to be nice with the other guy's stuff. Since Mercury is communication, Venus is affection, and Venus is being aspected by Mars in Leo... the sex drive... it appears that you are reading the correct site for this weekend. Congratulations!

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

The Mercury Retrograde Festival (Day 3.14159265): Science Marches Backwards!

Mercury continues its backwards march through Taurus, bringing with it cluttered thinking and a tendency to grasp at the wrong solution to difficult issues. Don't feel too bad if the process has made you make unwise decisions with your personal life, though: times like these can mess with the best of minds.

Like, for example, that time the Indiana State Legislatiure tried to re-write how The Universe works.

Politicians love simple, straightforward facts. Unfortunately, life is too often filled with messy details that don't fit into a soundbite or a poster. Politicians sometimes respond to this by rounding the uneven corners off of The Truth. And, in one rather famous case, they decided to tell the Universe how to do its job.

You'll probably recall the concept of "pi" from High School: it's the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter. In other words, if a circle is 1 meter across, it is π meters around. π itself is what's called an "irrational number" like √2, for example. Most kids sitting in a classroom get a little nervous at the concept of a "number" that is, in fact, a long string of numbers (3.1415926535897932... and on and on for billions of decimal places with no distinct end).

So, on January 18th, 1897... with Mercury retrograde in "don't tell me what to do" Aquarius... and with Saturn (the traditional ruler of Aquarius... "laying down the law") conjunct Uranus (the modern ruler of Aquarius... "the weirder the better!")... the Indiana State Legislature began debate on a bill which defined pi as 3.2. That's all: just plain old 3.2. Finally, a government makes things simpler and easier to use! Too bad that the bill contradicted the Known Universe actually works. Other than that small problem.. great idea guys!

The original mind behind the bill was a Dr. Edwin J. Goodman, an amateur mathematical enthusiast and physician who had claimed to have discovered the true value of pi... right down to patenting the idea, so that anyone attempting to use the "more accurate" version of the mathematical constant would owe the good Doctor a user's fee.

The bill passed the House unanimously, and moved on to the State Senate. Fortunately for Indiana engineers (and the people who rely on their vehicles and elevators) the Bill died in the Senate... once an actual Professor of Mathematics explained to the Senators how utterly ridiculous the concept was. So, once Mercury was no longer retrograde... the bill died.

So you see: don't feel too badly about any bad decisions you've made lately, any drunk dialling to exes you may regret, or any recent bad decisions. You may have misinterpreted what The Universe wanted you to do... but at least you didn't tell The Universe how to do its job...