Thursday, December 30, 2010

Showtime With Astrologer Maria DeSimone!

Insights, predictions, your questions answered, and all the stuff that makes Astrology both fun and functional.

And of course... free stuff for anyone who writes in. Listen for details!

One more thing? If you call in, we'd love to answer your questions, but try to be more polite than THIS guy, willya?

Conquer The Universe (And The New Year) TONIGHT!

I hope you're all able to drop by tonight and have a listen to the last "Conquer The Universe With Astrology" for 2010. We've all been through a lot in the last year... find out what's happening in 2011 with my guest Maria DeSimone of We'll be delving into the future, answering your questions, and generally having a good time. Just like this...

...except with Astrology, instead of cheesy pre-teen moralizing.

NEXT week: Jeff Jawer. Click here to set a reminder... it's gonna be a good one.

If you haven't listened in before, here's what you've missed, all available NOW!:

Your 2011 Forecast Part I and Part II!

Beliefnet's Lynn Hayes!

Astrologer and Love Alchemist Jessica Shepherd!

An hour of Astrology comedy... The Astrological Turkey Shoot!

Author of "Cosmic Karma" Marguerite Manning!

Mayan Astrology with Bruce Scofield!'s very own Christopher Witecki!

And finally: hey, you like free stuff? Write me and get some!

Practical Astrology: How To Seduce A Scorpio Man The Easy Way

If you read the quick and easy guides to the Sun Signs you find at any typical supermarket check-out, you might get the impression that the best and easiest way to get a Scorpio man into the sack is to tell him in detail about your bondage gear, your prehensile tongue, or that drunken experimentation you did with your college room-mate.

Nonsense. Sure, Scorpios like sex, but they are subtle creatures too.

Here's how to bag that scorpion:

Proceed in the same way you would with anyone else. Let's say a nice dinner over lobster and wine... or tacos and mini-golf. It doesn't matter.

The one thing you should do to handle him slightly differently than other guys?

Make sure your bra strap peeks out. Or... if conditions permit... a thong strap. But not both. Preferably this strap should be red, or black, or some girly color. Or maybe a nice floral lace pattern. The point is to subtly draw attention to something that (theoretically) should not be visible.

Don't make a big deal out of it. Watch his eyes and see how long it takes him to notice this. Of course, if he is locked into making eye contact with you, you probably don't need my help. The second time you catch him glancing at your peek-a-boo lingerie show, subtly carry on with your conversation as you poke it back into place.

A few minutes later, move your shoulder enough to let it pop out again. Don't repeat this too many times... two or three times should be more than enough.

The point here is to let him know that you are a woman, and that there is more going on beneath the surface. Something that maybe you'd normally hide, but you are comfortable enough with him that you don't mind him knowing it. That, and there are only a few millimeters of fabric between him and The Promised Land. And if he plays his cards right, you'll give him a guided tour.

What you do with him after this is entirely up to you. He'll think that's all up to him... but of course, you and I know better.

Practical tips and guidance on lots of subjects... not just sex... on "Conquer The Universe With Astrology," available for free HERE!

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Astro-Mood: December 29th, 2010

Saturn is "exalted" in Libra... which theoretically means it is in the strongest place it can be. Mars is exalted in Capricorn. Strong limitations... and strong impulses. And today, the two are square to each other.

Translation: it's King Kong vs. Godzilla, and unless you keep calm and think twice before you speak or act today, you'll be the star of this movie... and you get to play the role of "Downtown Tokyo."

Hint: they don't hand out Oscars for that. Watch your performance and dialog with others anyway.

(Listen to my show HERE, and write me HERE for your freebie!)

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Astrologers Doing Business In A Manger

(It's Christmas re-run season, and here's mine. Check out my show and write me for your freebie! See you all in the new year!)

(Scene: The Nativity. Caspar, Melchior, and Balthazar gather around the Christ Child. Mary and Joseph listen intently in the background.)

Balthazar: major concern with this birth chart is that it shows potential for conflict with authority figures. You might want to teach him to be a little more respectful of Caesar, just to be careful. At least publicly.

Caspar: Don't be silly. He's a revolutionary, and the world needs more of that. This Jupiter/Saturn configuration, though... could be liver trouble.

Melchior: Look at the stare on this kid. He probably has something we haven't even heard of yet, right on the Ascendant.

Caspar: (chuckling) You and your undiscovered planets, Melchior. Seriously.

Balthazar: I think what we're trying to say here , Mr. And Mrs... (Looks back and forth at Mary and Joseph, who do not respond, but simply smile as if they know something the astrologers don't), Carpenter, is that anyone born into this world has to cope with certain inherent limitations. And a birth chart is like a road map to all of life's obstacles. And emotional issues!

Caspar: And medical problems!

Balthazar: So you see, although it does appear that your boy here is, in fact, some sort of a really special person, the indications are of a shortish life span... like maybe 35 years tops. And it's going to be a struggle. Like with authority figures.

Caspar: No real signs of wealth here either. And possible death by piercing or blood loss.

Balthazar: So we really recommend relocating the birth chart. You should consider a move to Gaul, or Germania, or something.

Caspar: His relocated chart to Hispania puts Venus on the Ascendant. He'd be a lot more popular with the girls there.

(Balthazar and Caspar turn to Melchior, who has fallen silent, staring at the baby)

Caspar: Melchior, you've hardly said a word. By this point you've usually told the parents all about the baby's future marriage and food allergies. What's the problem?

Melchior: It's just... the way this kid is looking at me. It's like... it's like He Knows Something that we don't.

(Balthazar and Caspar laugh uproariously)

Balthazar: You're such a cut-up, Melchior. We're the Wise Men. We're astrologers!

(Caspar leans in close to Melchior)

Caspar (whispering): Besides, look around dude. The kid was born with the livestock. Everyone wants to think their baby is the Greatest Thing Ever... but this one is an obvious non-starter.

Balthazar: Sorry folks, we have to move it along here. The Moon's nearly at the Midheaven, and we have a party to work at Herod's.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Your 2011 Astrology Forecast Part II, Tonight!

On "Conquer The Universe With Astrology":

LAST Thursday: we covered the big planetary movements in 2011 and how they'll affect you by your sign. If you missed it, you can listen HERE now.

TONIGHT: Part Two, where we go over your specifics, month by month!

The companion e-book is still available at  for only five dollars... put it together with tonight's show and last weeks' show, and it it's probably the best value going in astrology today. Hope to see you all there tonight!

Coming in the New Year: Michael Lutin, Jeff Jawer, Dr. Craig from "Millionaire Matchmaker," and a cast of thousands!

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Astro-Mood: December 22, 2010

With the Sun, Mars, Pluto, and North Node all in Capricorn, opposed by Moon in Cancer, things can seem a little flinty and bogged down. But all that Capricorn is ruled by Saturn... which is in Libra.

Solution to your roadblocks? Understanding. Empathy. Partnership. For bonus points... try buying your roadblocks a couple of drinks and sweet-talking them. Your obstacles will yield soon enough.

Oh yeah. Yield, roadblocks, yield. You know I like it when you do that.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Your Free 2011 Astrology Forecast Tonight!

Aries and Libra: Major shifts coming to your love life!
Taurus and Scorpio: Where did all the sex and money go?
Gemini and Sagittarius: Things finally bust loose and go crazy!
Cancer and Capricorn: Your base is shifting. Keep up or get thrown off!
Leo and Aquarius: Unleash the power of your mind to blow up obstacles!
Virgo and Pisces: Wild times with money and sex!

All this and more coming up in 2011... get the advance word on "Conquer The Universe With Astrology: Your 2011 Forecast" tonight at 10 PM Eastern/7 PM Pacific, and available as a podcast shortly afterwards!

The companion e-book is HERE, for only five dollars... and you can use it all year long.

Conquer The Universe: Your 2011 Forecast TONIGHT!

It's the time of year when everyone is scrambling to pay bills, buy presents, and keep up with obligations to friends and family. One important detail can get lost in all that activity: there's a whole new year coming up.

TONIGHT: Your 2011 forecast by sign, plus your questions answered! Big stuff happening in the sky next year... make sure you know when to take advantage of good conditions, and be warned when the tough stuff hits.

The companion e-book is HERE, for only five dollars... and you can use it all year long.

Astro-Mood: December 16th, 2010

Woo hoo! Over the course of the day, the Moon in Taurus is trine the North Node, Mercury, Mars, and Pluto, all in Capricorn. At long last, practical obstacles start to budge.

Yayyy! We're getting stuff done today! At last! And the Sun is square Jupiter and Uranus, so everyone's Ego is energized and ready to roll, too.

Now get the hell out of my way! And, get the hell out of everyone else's way too! NOW!

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Astro-Mood: December 15th, 2010

With the Moon transiting through the second half of Aries, opposing Saturn around 10 Am Eastern (7 AM Pacific), but not  aspecting the North Node/Mercury/Mars/Pluto pile-up in Capricorn, there's a lot of unfocused emotion, and yet there is a big emphasis on practical matters too. I'm sure you won't be the least bit frustrated, especially if you're a Cancer or a Capricorn.

Or, in the spirit (perhaps) of the restaurant review pictured here:

There's a lot of "unfocused emotion," and yet there is a "big" emphasis on "practical matters" too. I'm "sure" you won't be the least bit "frustrated," especially if you're a "Cancer or a Capricorn."

Cancers and Capricorns, read the second paragraph and grit your teeth when you read the bits in quotations. The rest of you? Try not to annoy Cancer and Capricorn. They're ready to blow.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Astro-Mood: December 14, 2010

Today... from 10:57 AM Eastern (7:57 AM Pacific) to 2:32 PM (9:32 AM Pacific) the Moon in Aries will be square to the North Node, Mars, Pluto, and Mercury in short order. Here's some heartfelt and sincere advice on how to handle those conditions: put a sock in it. Seriously, folks: everyone is agitated and everyone has something to blow up over. Instead, you're better off focusing all that wild mental energies on your own issues.

And hey... be nice to the boss today. Real nice. Or else.

Monday, December 13, 2010

AstroloMe: Your Future, On An iPhone?

Have you ever lived with an astrologer, or been on a regular friendly basis with one? There's a real temptation to ask about your transits every day... or every hour. Consulting with an astrologer can be a great way to nail down the larger patterns that are happening at any given time, and during a consultation we can zoom in as much as you want on any given day and time... but to be honest, it's a lot of work to dissect every day on an individual basis. A good daily Sun Sign forecast can help, of course... but it still isn't as precise as looking at the transits based on your own individual chart.

I think I may have a solution to this. It's an iPhone app called Astrolome.

Astrolome works differently from any other astrology application I've seen before. For one thing, it's based on your whole birth chart, and not just your Sun. Second: you don't even need to know any astrology at all to use and understand it. If all the heavy jargon that comes with full-scale astrology is a little intimidating to you -- as it is to many -- you'll have no problem at all with Astrolome. I've been working with it for a few days now, and I'm genuinely impressed.

I hope all of you with an iPhone out there will try it, and get back to me about what you think. I really believe it's the kind of thing I've been looking for for ages now. And hey, it's free... and you know how much I love free stuff. Have you written me for your freebie yet...?

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Wikileaks, Wikifear, And The Astrology Of Julian Assange

Join me Thursday on "Conquer The Universe With Astrology" and my special guest, astrologer Lynn Hayes. We'll be talking about what's coming up for 2011, and I'll be getting her opinion on what may be the biggest developing story of 2011... one which has already started.

You've already heard about Wikileaks and the huge embarrassment caused to the world's (well, mostly America's) intelligence community. Huge pressure has been placed on Wikileaks to put it out of business... dubious personal charges against founder Julian Assange, calls for his immediate termination (and no, I don't mean "firing"), and various attempts to cut off his funding.

But then.... PayPal went down. Mastercard went down. Visa went down. Angry mobs with torches -- the cyberspace version -- are hard at work. And Uranus The Rebel Planet hasn't even reaches feisty Aries yet. That happens in March 2011.

Another thing that is scheduled to happen in early 2011? Wikileaks releases its next big info-dump. This time: thousands of documents relating to American Banking.

If people could get this upset over diplomatic gossip... how are they going to react when they find the Enron-sized shenanigans that go into their credit card rates, and their mortgages, and financing the people who voted for more tax breaks for the ultra-rich?

Here's the birth chart for Julian Assange... birth time uncovered by Mountain Astrologer Magazine:

We live in interesting times, people. And they're about to get a lot more interesting. Join Lynn and I Thursday for more, and write me for your freebie!

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

The Astrology of 2011: Full Moons And New Moons

Each Sign is going to be affected by a Full and a New Moon in 2011. Here are the dates for those:

ARIES: April 3rd (New Moon) and October 12th (Full Moon)
TAURUS: May 17th (Full Moon) and October 26th (New Moon)
GEMINI: June 1 (New Moon) and June 11th (Solar Eclipse!)
CANCER: January 19th (New Moon) and July 1st (Solar Eclipse!)
LEO: July 30th (New Moon) and August 13th (Full Moon)
VIRGO: August 29th (New Moon) and August 13th (Full Moon)
LIBRA: April 19th (Full Moon) and September 27 (New Moon)
SCORPIO: May 17th (Full Moon) and October 26 (New Moon)
SAGITTARIUS: June 15th (Lunar Eclipse!) and June 11th (Solar Eclipse!)
CAPRICORN: January 4th (Solar Eclipse!) and July 22nd (Full Moon)
AQUARIUS: February 3rd (New Moon) and August 13th (Full Moon)
PISCES: March 4th (New Moon) and September 12th (Full Moon)

...But how will those affect you as an individual? Well... have I got an e-book for you... for only five bucks!

Know nothing about astrology, but know that it works anyway? Know a little about astrology, and want to learn more while following your transits? Ever buy one of those Sun Sign guides and always wondered "what about the OTHER eleven signs out there?"

"This 36-page ebook by Matthew Currie will give you an easy-to-use way to understand the major astrological forces at play in 2011: the aspects, the energies set up by planetary sign placements, and the lunar cycles and eclipses that often trigger major events. Best of all, it lets you know when to prepare, when to brace yourself, and when to take action to make your like a better place."
Every major event on the calendar is denoted with a number. That number lines up with an interpretation in the text. Find the day, look up the number(s) of what’s in effect… and there you have it! Mercury retrograde periods are also noted in highlighter.
If you know nothing about astrology, you’ll still be able to use the calendar. If you know a little about astrology, playing along and watching the transits will help you learn more about how astrology works, and the Astrological Mood-O-Meter will help you understand how transits affect yourself and others on a more customized, individual basis. And even if you are a full-blown astrologer yourself, the calendar section lays out the major activity in a quick and easy-to-read manner.
Understanding how all of the astrological transits that are happening in any given time can be really complex and confusing. In this book, I’ve presented them in what I believe is the most simple and easy-to-follow… yet accurate… format I can think of. If you’re a seasoned pro, it can serve as a gentle reminder of what’s coming up in the sky, and what you need to pay attention to. If you know nothing about astrology… well, I think I’ve come up with a format that will give you a previously unparalleled degree of understanding of how the transits affect you and everyone else around you… no astrological knowledge required!


Oh, and one more thing? Buy the e-book and then find me on Facebook, and I'll send you a freebie. Yes, really. Heck, write me and I'll send you a freebie anyway.

And... don't miss tonight's show!

Conquer The Universe with A Saturn Sister TONIGHT!

Tonight on a special Tuesday edition of "Conquer The Universe With Astrology," my guest will be Sherene Shostak! She's an astrologer, author, and one-half of the Saturn Sisters. She's written or co-written a number of books, creator of Constellationmag, and also co-authored a book about Dog Astrology.

I was actually a Dog Astrologer once myself, so if your dog has any questions, please have him or her bark them at us.


PS: as always... if you write, you get a freebie!

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Love, Astrology, And Alchemy!

Ever notice how the Universe occasionally conspires to make you wait for something important? You Big Moment, meeting your Soul Mate, or (in this case) having the previously-postponed Jessica Shepherd on "Conquer The Universe With Astrology"...

On tonight's show: an interview with Jessica Shepherd, Author of "A Love Alchemist's Notebook." Not only is Jessica an astrologer who knows a thing or two about thinking with your Venus... she's written a guide as to what you can actually do with it, in practical terms, to find The One!

10 PM Eastern, 7 PM Pacific. The Chat Room will be open a few minutes early... drop by before all the best hors d'oeuvres are gone.

Also tonight: your questions answered, so gimme a call! And as always... free stuff for anyone who writes me!

(And hey... that "thinking with your Venus" line? That was her, not me.)

Thursday, November 25, 2010

The Astrological Turkey Shoot!

From Wikipedia: "turkey shoot is an opportunity for an individual or a party to very easily take advantage of a situation. It also implies that the 'shooter' can't lose."

From Matthew Currie: "In most cases, the things that make people laugh about you is your Sun Sign... your Ego."

Tonight on "Conquer The Universe With Astrology"... a Thanksgiving Special! I'm pleased to present "Conquer The Universe With Astrology: The Astrological Turkey Shoot!" AT 10 pm Eastern/7 PM Pacific, tonight. 

It's an hour of astrological comedy designed to help your abdomen gently contract with laughter, thus aiding the all-important post-Thanksgiving digestive process.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Conquer The Universe (UPDATED!)

One of the joys of doing a live show is never quite knowing what you're gonna get until you get it. Like, for example... tonight's show: a technical glitch has prevented Jessica Shepherd from being on. She'll be joining us December 2nd.

Tonight, instead we present the Awe and Wonder that is... Marguerite Manning, author of "Cosmic Karma: Understanding Your Contract With The Universe."

10 PM Eastern, 7 PM Pacific. The Chat Room will be open a few minutes early... drop by before all the best hors d'oeuvres are gone.

Also tonight: your questions answered, so gimme a call! And as always... free stuff for anyone who writes me!

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Conquer The Universe With Mayan Astrology!

I admit it: I know nothing about Mayan Astrology. I've heard interesting things, certainly... but I freely confess my ignorance on the matter. So it's a good thing that my guest, astrologer and author Bruce Scofield is going to be on tonight's special Tuesday edition of the show.

Heck, long before I'd even heard of Mayan Astrology, Bruce Scofield was a master of Western Astrology. Now his practice includes both. And he's the author of fourteen books and runs One Reed Publications, so one way or another, I'm bound to learn something from tonight's show.

Maybe you will too... but of course, you'll have to listen to find out.

PS: You may have heard a lot about disastrous times coming in 2012. I always say "bet against the end of the world, 'cause it'll only happen once." Mayan Astrology has a lot to say about 2012. Maybe Bruce will set me straight...

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Conquer The Universe TONIGHT!

Tonight we break in the new and improved Executive Skybox... that's "chat room" most other place... in our new and improved location! What better way to celebrate that Universal Love Vibration than with tonight's guest, Christopher Witecki of

Seriously... I can't think of a better way. If you can, call in and tell me!


November 16th: A special Tuesday edition with astrologer/author Bruce Scofield! I'm especially looking forward to what he can tell us about Mayan Astrology. Here's the show reminder.

November 18th: Back to the regular Thursday show, when we'll figure out how you can really use your birth chart to get romantic results, with Jessica Shepherd, author of "A Love Alchemist's Notebook." Set a reminder now!

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Glorious Romantic Victory With Astrology TONIGHT!

Looking for True Love? Glorious Romantic Victory is at hand, Comrades!

"Hey, Comrade! The path To Glorious Romantic Victory doesn't involve drunk dialing your ex! You should use Venus Retrograde to review the past and learn from it... not to use the past as an escape! You'd better listen to 'Conquer The Universe With Astrology' TONIGHT for a little re-training!"

(Then, a few days later...)

"Thanks for the love life advice, Comrade Astrologer, and for the free e-books!"

NEXT WEEK: The Triumphant Return of Christopher Witecki of! Click and set that reminder!

NOVEMBER 18TH: Haven't found The One just yet? Jessica Shepherd, astrologer and author of "A Love Alchemist's Notebook" is going to be here to help you fix that! Don't miss it!

Monday, November 1, 2010

Fix Your Love Life With Astrology In Three Easy Steps!

Step One: Join me and author of "Cosmic Karma: Understanding Your Contract with the Universe" Marguerite Manning ( on her show for our conversation: "The 7th House: Who’s The Matter With Me?" Wednesday at 7 PM Eastern, 4 PM Pacific!

Step Two: Grab your birth chart! What, you say you don't have your birth chart? You don't know much about astrology? I've got a chart for you for free... just go to and sign up (for free!) and you'll get your chart and Personality Profile. It's a good one, and well worth having.

Step Three: Join me on my show Thrusday, when we'll put it all together into a sure-fire solution for all your Love Life Woes!*

And as always... send me an e-mail with your questions, or just to score your freebie e-book!

*(Your mileage may vary)

Friday, October 29, 2010

More Medical Astrology With Eileen Nauman!

Thanks, everyone, for listening last night! If you missed it, my guest was medical astrologer Eileen Nauman. The archived version is available HERE if you missed it... and is also on iTunes as a podcast!

Since last night was pretty educational for a lot of us... and there's no better way to learn than to play along at home, here are the charts in question. Click on them... they get bigger.

1) Mary

Mary has specific questions about chronic pain issues.

2) Jana

Jana asks: "Could the NORTH NODE  in Libra have an influence on what my life is supposed to be about?  I have ALWAYS wanted to be a psychologist, but it didn't happen, and usually end up in an accounting job or health care, but ...I love writing, but (blogs, books, cookbooks, children's books),  I feel like a failure, not knowing why I cant get into a career and make money, but I do like to cook a lot and want to start a blog."

3) Liz

Liz has questions about her Scorpio man, why it isn't working out, and whether or not she's doomed to be alone. Meanwhile, her career isn't very satisfying either...


NEXT WEEK: No guests... just me and you and your questions and an extra-special good time. November 11th? Christopher Witecki drops by again! A good time is guaranteed for all...

...and did you write me for your freebie yet...?


Other installments you may have missed:

-Former Vanity Fair columnist and astrological legend Michael Lutin shares his wisdom!

-Amy Herring, author of "Astrology Of The Moon" explains the effects of that other big light in the sky! maestro Christopher Witecki and I lay down some phat astrological beats!

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Law & Order: Saturn Victims Unit!

In Astrology, Saturn Transits are considered especially heinous. On, the dedicated astrologers who investigate these vicious aspects are members of an elite squad known as the Saturn Victims Unit. These are their stories.

Time to look at what astrology has in store for you in the near future!

Join me tonight for "Conquer The Universe With Astrology: The Radio Show" with my guest Eileen Nauman, author, astrologer, and great human being. And we'll be answering your questions online!

(Shows are available as an archive/podcast shortly after air time.)

Oh, and have you written for your freebies yet...?

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

The Astrology Of Bad Love

Over the years as an astrologer, I've seen a lot of bad relationships. And I look at relationships a lot in my role as the blogger for I've also seen a fair number of good ones of course, but let's be honest -- it's the bad ones you often learn the most from. Now although I can't say I've gotten the keys to the "perfect" (ha!) relationship here in my back pocket, but I've certainly observed where a lot of the problems come from.

I've combined much of my material on this subject in a new e-book...

The Astrology Of Bad Love
When The Stars Are Right But Your Heart (Or Head) Isn’t… Or Is That The Other Way Around?

...along with new material you haven't seen anywhere else.

And unlike your last bad relationship... this won't cost you a thing. No, really. It's free. Free. All you have to do is write me and ask for it just like my last freebie (which if you ask for it now... you'll get that TOO).

Whether you're a total beginner at Astrology, or have gotten a little deeper into the dynamics of astrology and relationships... or are just looking for the occasional pained chuckle at how this things can go off the rails... "The Astrology Of Bad Love" has something for you.

What's not to love about THAT?

Friday, October 22, 2010

Your Astrologer Is Ready, San Francisco!

I'll be appearing live and in person Saturday at Tedda Hughes Gallery Boutique, 1623 Polk Street, San Francisco from 7 to 10 PM. Need guidance for your future? Saturn transit getting you down? Trying to figure out your finances or your love life? Curious to see if I'll e-mail you a freebie just for asking? Come on down and find out!

Readings and opinions by donation, and like I said... freebie by e-mail. That, plus the usual amazing selection of items in Tedda's gallery. How can you lose?

Thursday, October 21, 2010

The Astrology Of The Moon, Amy Herring, Free Stuff, And Fun!

Join me tonight on "Conquer The Universe With Astrology: The Radio Show" and my guest Amy Herring, author of  "Astrology of the Moon: An Illuminating Journey Through the Signs and Houses". If you write me, you get a freebie!

Also: Astrology In The News, The Last Degree, and an announcement about all your questions. Drop by and say hi!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Conquer The Universe With Astrology: Amy Herring Edition!

Tomorrow night at show time (10 PM Eastern, 7 PM Pacific), the Moon will be loud and strong and relatively unaspected in Aries, and it's the day before the Full Moon. So there's no better time, I figure, than to go loony with it!

Um, I mean, "go mooney." Or rather...

Join me and my guest, astrologer Amy Herring on the show! Have a look at her site (and while you're at it, check out her book, "Astrology of the Moon: An Illuminating Journey Through the Signs and Houses") and then...

to set up a reminder for the show. As always, we'll have Astrology In The News, The Last degree, and yes... questions will be answered.

See you all there!

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Conquer The Universe With Astrology (Michael Lutin Edition!)

I'm thrilled to have as my guest on tonight's "Conquer The Universe With Astrology"... the man, the myth, the legend... Michael Lutin! He's one of the biggest and best astrologers out there today, and if you don't already know why I love the guy... here's a sample:

That, plus Astrology In The News, The Last Degree, a freebie for everyone who writes me, and your first look at my new e-book... "Duck And Cover: The Astrology Of 2011"!

Anyway, the show's going to be great.

You can click now to set a reminder. The show will be available as an archive/podcast shortly after showtime. See you all there!

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Conquer The Universe TONIGHT (New Moon Edition!)

Today is the New Moon in Libra... traditionally a time to sit back and think about your relationships and partnerships, and sometimes it's a good time to try something new. That's why it's a particular thrill for me to welcome tonight's guest on "Conquer The Universe With Astrology"... Christopher Witecki of! If you haven't seen the place, drop by.... it's definitely not your grandma's astrology!

As for tonight's show...

...we have the chat room, Astrology In The News, The Last Degree, and I'm still dying to send you your obligation-free (and kinda cool) freebie when you write me!

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Come And Get Some Astrology, San Francisco!

I'll be appearing live and in person tonight at Tedda Hughes Gallery Boutique, 1623 Polk Street, San Francisco tonight from 7 to 10 PM. Need guidance for your future? Feeling the weight of that Sun-Saturn conjunction? Wondering what Venus and Mars in Scorpio is going to be doing for you? Curious to see if I'll e-mail you a freebie just for asking? Come on down tonight and find out!

Readings and opinions by donation, and like I said... freebie by e-mail. That, plus the usual amazing selection of items in Tedda's gallery. How can you lose?

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Conquer The Universe TONIGHT! (BYOB)

Tonight: No guests, just you and me and Astrology. That's more than enough for a good time, isn't it? I'll be answering your questions (feel free to mail them to me HERE, and while you're at it, ask for your freebie!) 

Showtime is 10 PM Eastern (7 PM Pacific) and is available archived shortly after the end of the show if you can't catch it live. I'll be introducing a new segment... "The Last Degree," and we'll be starting out with "Astrology In The News." This week: how are things looking for Lindsay Lohan on October 22nd, when she's back in court?

Will it go well for her? Will she show up sober? Tune in to find out!

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Conquer The Universe With Astrology: The October Preview

Thanks, everyone, for listening to the show! Your ever-growing numbers and enthusiasm keep me going!

Tomorrow night's show won't feature a guest. It's just me, you, and the planets. If you have any questions you'd like answered on-air (or behind the scenes) send me an e-mail with your birth data. And hey... if all you want is a free e-book, send me a line at that address and you'll get one of those, too.

After Thursday's show, it's a jam-pack cavalcade of the best and brightest Astrology has to offer, including:

October 7th: The New Moon Special with Christopher Witecki of This ain't your grandpa's astrology!

October 14th: The man, the myth, the legend... former Vanity Fair astrologer, acclaimed author, and all-around astrological genius Michael Lutin will be on! Beat the rush and get excited now!

October 21st: Astrologer Amy Herring (author of "Astrology Of The Moon") will be on to discuss her book and the importance of your Moon Sign.

And, every show there will also be the usual Astrology In The News, and a new segment to make it worth your while to sit through the whole thing: The Last Degree! Sounds good, right? I know I'll be there. Hope to see you there too.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Conquer The Universe, Find Your Soul Mate, And Get Out Of Jail Free!

Tonight on "Conquer The Universe With Astrology:" CEO of (still free, and still the best damned astrology dating site out there) Hilary Young and I will be discussing your love lives, dating, and how astrology can help you get a grip on both. Show starts at 10 PM EST (7 PM PST), and will be archived shortly thereafter...

Also, a new segment where we'll be looking at the near future of the rich, famous and infamous, and how astrology influences them. This week: welcome to your Saturn Return, Paris Hilton! And this time, you won't be able to pretend that was just someone else's karma in your purse...

And hey... did you write me for your freebie yet?

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Conquer The Universe With Astrology TONIGHT!

Drop by again tonight at 10 PM EST (7 PM PST) for some astrology, some announcements, and best of all... special guest Nick Dagan Best. He's got some interesting ideas about the upcoming Venus Retrograde, among other things, that you'll want to hear.

As always, the show is live, but you can listen starting shortly after the end of the show to the archived version. And make sure you write me for your freebie!

Also: no pre-recorded Funny Bit this evening though... maybe that Moon in Capricorn is demanding too much seriousness. But for those of you who love The Shtick... here's all my previous bits collected. In the meantime, here's all my previous Bits in one convenient location...

Friday, September 10, 2010

Alec Baldwin Phones An Astrologer

Last night's show had more than its fair share of technical glitches... one of which was that no one got the chance to hear this week's Funny Bit. Join me now, as troubled Aries with Moon in Libra Alec Baldwin reaches out to an astrologer for help with his complex personal life...

...and tune in next Thursday for more fun, and our guest Nick Dagan Best!

(Also: that really, really incredibly cool Mercury Retrograde deal I have going? Write me for details and you get a freebie. Yes, really!)

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Conquer The Universe, And Don't Give It Back!

TONIGHT'S SHOW: Guests? We don't need no stinkin' guests (although admittedly Marguerite Manning was a pretty good one last week)! Tonight we're looking at Astrology In The News, taking another look at Mercury Retrograde, answering your questions, taking your calls, and generally having a good time.

(Or click on "Remind Me" and you'll get an e-mail before showtime)

And as usual, there will be The Funny Bit. This (although amusing) isn't it...'ll just have to listen in to hear it: 10 PM EST, 7 PM PST, and archived on the site shortly after the show ends. So you've got no excuse for not listening in and writing me for details on The Astounding Mercury Retrograde Deal I've got going right now. See you all there!

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Conquer The Universe: Marguerite Manning

Tonight on "Conquer The Universe With Astrology" our scheduled guest is Marguerite Manning, author of "Cosmic Karma: Understanding Your Contract with the Universe." She's entertaining and she knows her stuff. Really, you should listen in.

More fun, more forecasting... and an announcement about the Biggest Astrology Deal Ever. And everyone who writes me here gets a freebie! Yes, really!

10 PM EST, 7 PM PST, and available archived starting about an hour after the show. Here's this week's Fake Ad...

...and if you liked that, come and check out the other 59 minutes!

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Conquer The Universe TONIGHT! (Updated)

Tonight should see the first episode of "Conquer The Universe With Astrology: The Radio Show."  I say should, because after all we are in the dreaded Mercury Retrograde Shadow Zone... because Mercury Retrograde is so much fun, it should get a little more time to play with your plans, right?

Hey, don't worry: I know my astrology. There are back-up plans. Lots of 'em.

We go live at 7 PM PST tonight, and the Chat Room should be open a few minutes beforehand. With luck our first scheduled guest... Christopher Witecki of will be there too, and he'll be just as informative and entertaining as he always is.

And, after tonight's show... if you've found me on Facebook, or found the "Conquer The Universe" fan page there... within 48 hours after the show, you'll receive your Free Bacon!

(You can listen to the archived show starting a couple of hours or so afterwards by clicking on the same link.)

There you go. Click, listen, join in the chat room if you're listening live... and above all, Conquer! And if you can't listen live, the show should be archived by clicking on the same link within an hour or so afterwards...

PS: Here are the links to my book (available through Amazon) and my e-books (available even faster through!)

UPDATE: Thanks everyone for listening! This Thursday, join me and special guest Amy Herring. In the meantime, in case you missed it, here's last week's Fake Ad...

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Rainy Day Astrology Fun!

Hi everyone! You can still find all my regular stuff at The World's Mightiest Astrology Dating Site for free... and you can still check in here for updates on my upcoming show... but in the meantime, let's have some fun!

Imagine for a moment that you are the producer and director of a major motion picture... an unlimited budget and any actor or actress in the world (including the ability to raise the dead to fill key roles if you like) to fill the roles.

There are twelve roles. Each sign of the Zodiac is one of the characters you'll be casting. Your assignment: pick one or more actors/actresses of a given Sun Sign (or who have a distinct influence for that sign in their birth chart) who you think would do a great job of conveying the qualities of their sign.

I'll start the ball rolling with two of my suggestions...

1) Scorpio: Danny DeVito (Sun/Mars conjunct in Scorpio)...

2) Sagittarius: Jeff Bridges (Sun/Mercury in Sagittarius)...

Now: your turn. Who do you like for what role, and why?

Monday, August 2, 2010

Pluto In Capricorn, Love In The Stars, And A Chainsaw In The Trunk

Oh, poor Capricorn... Pluto passing through your sign, half the other planets squaring you... it's never entirely easy being a Capricorn. Some days it probably feels like you're going to open up the paper to your Daily Horoscope and it will say something like this like this:

Capricorn: Today an attractive stranger will see you in a coffee shop. He will invite you out to dinner, and then for a romantic evening at his secluded cabin in the woods. You will forget to tell anyone where you are going.

You will never be seen again.

(The first episode of "Conquer The Universe With Astrology: The Radio Show" begins August 19th! Subcribe to this blog for further details... or find me on Twitter (@MatthewCurrie) or on Facebook! Hope to see you all there!)

Friday, July 30, 2010

An Open Question For All Fans Of Astrology

The Moon has just kicked into Aries, activating that wild and crazy T-Square, so it seems the perfect time to announce a new project, and to ask you for your radical ideas.

As some of you already know, I'm going to have a regular program... "Conquer The Universe With Astrology: The Radio Show" on a new metaphysical network run by the awesome and talented Phyllis King, starting Thursday, August 19th... right in time for the Mercury station! If you've read much of my writing, you already have an idea what the tone of the show will be like. I hope to both inform and amuse. 

I'll be making my comments, talking to guests, and presenting astrologically-based features. And I'm looking forward to answering any and all of your questions. Here's my question for you: what would you like to hear? What things am I (as a blogger) and bloggers in general not covering enough? And, most importantly... how can I talk to listeners like yourselves about their specific chart/issues/questions without bringing everything to a grinding halt while we all listen to Millie in Miami complain about her husband?

Please, everyone... give me your ideas here. And stay tuned for further details!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Boiling Your Own Eyeballs: The Aries-Libra-Capricorn T-Square

(My regular blog is HERE... read, join, find romance for free... and I can be contacted about a reading HERE.)

Whatever the specific details are, your life is being subjected to the powerful ongoing T-square happening in the sky right now. Saturn squares Pluto, which in turn squares Jupiter and Uranus. It's been a long time since the Zodiac provided that kind of tension... and this weekend, the Moon and (more dramatically) Mars are joining in the fiasco. No matter what the specifics of the challenges you're currently facing, here's a metaphor that will hopefully help:


No one knows for sure what would happen if you jumped out of a spaceship without a helmet into deep space. No one has been stupid (or homicidal) enough to try. Everyone agrees it would be fatal though, whether in 15 seconds or a minute and a half, or something in between. Your head won't explode, like some movies have shown. But your eardrums will rupture. The tiny blood vessels in your face will burst, making you look like an organic jigsaw puzzle. The fluid in your eyeballs will likely begin to boil in a few seconds.. And of course there's no air, so if you don't instantly freeze solid and/or get char-broiled (depending on your distance from the Sun) the excruciating pain will soon be followed by death.

Why would anyone do that to themselves?

Imagine for a moment that your safe, well-ordered life is suddenly and dramatically revealed to you to be the thing that is trying to destroy you. And when I say "suddenly and dramatically," I mean "you've willingly strapped yourself to a ticking time bomb for the entire journey, and are only now realizing it."

Imagine that the Supreme Intelligence running your universe appears to be out to get you. And you beg It/Him/Her to save you. And the answer you receive is...

"I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that."

And when you get right down to it... it's jump, or die. And you didn't bring your helmet. And this time, there won't be Angels waiting to catch you. All Angels can do, after all, is try to show you what's right and then hope you'll play along. But with luck, and skill, and (above all) bravery... you'll know what to do. And you'll do it. And maybe...'ll make it.

It's either that, or carry on with the situation as it stands, knowing that it will be a much slower and more familiar death.

Remain calm. Assess your options and resources without fear. And then...