Astrology - LIVE On The Caribbean Radio Show!

After far too long an absence, I'm returning to the airwaves (Internet waves?)on The Caribbean Radio Show!

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN LIVE, 12:30 AM EASTERN/9:30 PM PACIFIC 

 ...or if you aren't listening live, click anyway and zip ahead to about the 90 minute mark. I'll be firing off my considered cosmic opinions on the news of the day, doing readings LIVE, and (also worth noting) will have my best deal yet on readings (just in time for the end of the world on December 21st, maybe...?)! And hey... want more information on readings and maybe a free e-book?

CLICK HERE and write me!

Oh, and if that isn't enough to pique your interest, here is a picture of a water-skiing squirrel. 

Live Like A One-Percenter With Astrology!

(This entry originally appeared on Astrologydating.com, where all my new stuff is. Drop by and say hi some time!) 

If you've paid any attention to the rest of the world during this whole long, gloriously grinding Uranus-Pluto square, you've seen the rise of "the 99%" and references to "the 1%"

Allow me to summarize: there are people with the money and influence to shape their lives any way they want to.... and then there's you, and me, and all our friends, who have to attempt the same, armed only with gumption and pocket lint. Now (avoiding the whole question of how this situation arose) one thing's for sure: we'd ALL like to have the power to shape our lives the way we want to. 

There are three ways you can live like a one-percenter with astrology.

1) Understand your own birth chart. It doesn't matter what resources you have on hand if you don't KNOW what you have.

2) Get a reading. Ancient Royalty used to keep astrologers around for a reason, y'know.

3) You may not be the founder of Facebook, or be a major shareholder... but hey, you're ON Facebook, right?

So: go here...

https://www.missionsmallbusiness.com/

Click on "LOG IN WITH FACEBOOK TO SUPPORT YOUR COMMUNITY" and vote for AstrologyDating.com (Or type in Astrology Dating if that confuses it) when you log in with your Facebook account. Don't worry: you aren't being sold anything. This is just a place giving grants to businesses based not on size or wealth, but on how they reach people.

...Like the way astrology reaches YOU.

Besides, when you go to the link and type in "Astrology Dating" and vote, then send me an e-mail (here or elsewhere) to let me know... in the next 2-3 weeks you will receive a copy of my upcoming e-book "Live Like A One-Percenter With Astrology!" 

So, use that power of your... the power that connects you to us and to the larger world. Also, there are some really incredible plans in the pipe for AstrologyDating.com, and that grant would make them happen.

Here's the link again... just type in "astrology dating" in the business name, and there you go. A free e-book and support of a genuinely great business for just a click.

https://www.missionsmallbusiness.com/

Now THAT'S "power."

"In The Stars": New Astrology (And Maybe Your Soul Mate) For Free!

Hi again everyone. Just dropping by to update you on things....

First of all, "Conquer The Universe With Astrology" will be back on Blogtalkradio in future... but not until I've revealed The Next Big Thing. All I'm saying right now is that it's Big, it's Next, and it'll be worth the wait. In the meantime, there's probably plenty you missed, so click here and have a listen!

Second: Looking for my new stuff? It's all in Astrologydating.com's brand new weekly newsletter, "In The Stars." Click here to sign up absolutely free! 

THIS WEEK: 

The Moon's Nodes And Your Karmic Loop

The June 19th New Moon: This Moon, It's Personal

The Weekend Romance Forecast

And hey... have a look at the rest of the site too. Your soul mate may be kicking around in the back there, somewhere...

Finally: Do I still send out Free Stuff to anyone who e-mails me? Write me and find out!

And now, here's Whiplash The Cowboy Monkey. I promise you... he's not a member of Astrologydating.com.

Conquer The Universe With Nora Jean Stone!

Jon me and Nora Jean Stone from the San Francisco Astrological Society on tonight's "Conquer The Universe With Astrology." We'll be talking about Neptune and Chiron in Pisces, the current Venus-Pluto square that's making a few of you say "ouch," and why I figure Rob Hand owes me a favor.

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN NOW!

Check out my show! If you like what you hear... there's more to come in the future! Please feel free to drop by and visit my Donations Page. It's what keeps me going and, and you might just get a surprise...And yes, I still send free stuff to everyone who writes me!

If you're new to this blog, here's a sample of my previous shows and blog entries. Enjoy!

Neptune In Pisces, Marguerite Manning, And Maybe A Case Of Scotch

TONIGHT'S SHOW: No big deal... just a couple of astrologers sittin' around talking'.

Really. That's it. The whole show. Just that. Oh, right... and Neptune in Pisces. Forgive me. I've been drinking.

Hey wait... the two astrologers in question are Marguerite Manning and myself! Hoo hah! The bar is open!

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN!

Check out my show! If you like what you hear... there's more to come in the future! Please feel free to drop by and visit my Donations Page. It's what keeps me going and, and you might just get a surprise...And yes, I still send free stuff to everyone who writes me!

If you're new to this blog, here's a sample of my previous shows and blog entries. Enjoy!

Venus in Pisces, Mars in Virgo: Pinky And The Brain Try Internet Dating

(Venus in Pisces is considered to be an "exalted" placement: full of open-hearted non-judgmental love and willingness to express it. Mars in Virgo is looking to win by analyzing the details. The two positions are opposite each other, and Venus opposition Mars is in full effect now.)

***

(SCENE: Late night at Acme Laboratories. In a darkened corner two laboratory mice in a cage are huddled over a tiny little computer, checking out a dating site.)

PINKY: Oy, what about this one, Brain? She seems really nice, and oh look... she likes long walks! That could come in handy. Narf!

BRAIN: Don't be ridiculous, Pinky. Pay attention to the rest of her ad. "Must be goal-oriented and self sufficient."

PINKY: Well, that's you, isn't it?

BRAIN: That's a code-phrase for "she's a gold-digger" Pinky. You know I can't touch my savings. I need it for a new Death Ray!

PINKY: Oh, okay. Hey, look at this ad! She says she's easygoing and appreciates being able to relax with a loved one over a glass of fine wine!

BRAIN: She has low standards and a drinking problem. Next!

PINKY: Well, SurferGirl67 likes classical music like you do...

BRAIN: I hate what she's done with her hair.

PINKY: This one has a fondness for animals...

BRAIN: I am an animal! She'd never be faithful!

PINKY: SunshineLover81 enjoys spending time on the beach and --

BRAIN: --and is an unmotivated skin-cancer candidate.

PINKY: AudreyJ has loved and lost but is ready to try again...

BRAIN: Too many issues with her ex.

PINKY: JJLaRue says she's wild, spontaneous, and affectionate...

BRAIN: Tramp.

PINKY: IowaHomegirl wants a committed relationship that lines up with her values...

BRAIN: Prude.

PINKY: Narf! You aren't making this easy, Brain! You're analyzing everything to death!

BRAIN: (Turns off computer and walks to the edge of the cage, stares off into the distance) Enough of this foolishness! You know what we're going to do tonight, Pinky?

PINKY: Go out and try to find someone in person, so we can see them for who they really are instead of dismissing them offhandedly based on a few lines of type and a couple of pictures?

BRAIN: No Pinky. We're going to try to take over the world with my army of remote controlled pigeons I've trained to poop on anyone whop dares challenge our dominance. It's a much more practical and achievable goal.

PINKY: (sighs) I'm lonely.

BRAIN: Shut up Pinky.

(This Thursday on "Conquer The Universe With Astrology":  it's Astrology: The Pants-Optional Venus And Mars Show." Click HERE to set a reminder... and bring a date if you like.)

Check out my show! If you like what you hear... there's more to come in the future! Please feel free to drop by and visit my Donations Page. It's what keeps me going and, and you might just get a surprise...And yes, I still send free stuff to everyone who writes me!

If you're new to this blog, here's a sample of my previous shows and blog entries. Enjoy!

What Can An Astrologer Do For You?

More people would take advantage of the services of a professional Astrologer if they knew what an astrologer can actually DO for them. Here's a brief introductory video... with lots and lots of scary warnings about side effects.

Check out my show! If you like what you hear... there's more to come in the future! Please feel free to drop by and visit my Donations Page. It's what keeps me going and, and you might just get a surprise...And yes, I still send free stuff to everyone who writes me!

If you're new to this blog, here's a sample of my previous shows and blog entries. Enjoy!

Eight Minutes Of Venus In Pisces

Whenever Venus enters Pisces... the sign of it's "exaltation"... it's time for the astrology bloggers to bust out the synonyms for "depth" and "compassion" and "confusion" and...

Why not just watch an 8 minute video that says and shows everything you need to know about Venus in Pisces, without actually spelling it out... which is kinda Piscean, if you think about it...

"To what end be Death, if not for Love?" Wow, look at all the colors! Hey, why is everyone dancing? Why am I dancing? "And what be life, if not for Love?" Holy cow, you're beautiful! "Say a hundred things, should you wish, the meaning still remains the same." I think I'm in love with you. "Who has ever known what Love is, and yet EVERYONE knows what Love is." Hey... is that a Product Placement? I know I shouldn't, but I'm so thirsty and this is delicious! "A garden of roses, love; strewn with thorns too, is love." I think I'm in love with you too. Hey, where did you go...?

Just put the astrology texts down for eight minutes and watch this instead. It will tell you everything Venus in Pisces wants you to know, and in far better style than I could ever muster. Hope you don't mind subtitles.

Check out my show! If you like what you hear... there's more to come in the future! Please feel free to drop by and visit my Donations Page. It's what keeps me going and, and you might just get a surprise...And yes, I still send free stuff to everyone who writes me!

If you're new to this blog, here's a sample of my previous shows and blog entries. Enjoy!

The Astrology Of 2012

It's the big scary year you were warned about... are you ready? Probably not. None of us ever really are. But here's what to expect from the next twelve months of your future!

"Conquer The Universe With Astrology" returns!

Tonight at 8:30 PM Eastern (5:30 Pacific)

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN OR SET A REMINDER!

...and hey, if you're listening live and have any questions, give me a call at (323) 443-7252!

...not yet... not yet... waaaaaaiiiit for it...

Check out my show! If you like what you hear... there's more to come in the future! Please feel free to drop by and visit my Donations Page. It's what keeps me going and, and you might just get a surprise...And yes, I still send free stuff to everyone who writes me!

If you're new to this blog, here's a sample of my previous shows and blog entries. Enjoy!

Matthew The Astrologer on Creepy KOFY Movie Time

For those of you who missed it... like, just about everyone... here is my appearance on The Bay Area's own Creepy KOFY Movie Time. Two things that are important to notice:

1) Astrology gives you the ability to quickly "cut to the chase" with a thumbnail description of the personality.

2) They used that special camera on me that added ten pounds to my chin and neck, but not anyone else's. Now THAT'S "paranormal."

(Come back soon for a link to my 2012 Forecast Show!) 

Astrology, Bad Transits, And Avoiding The One-Eyed Pomeranian Of Fate

Astrology works. Objectivity though? That's the hard part.

I don't look at my own personal transits every day. As a matter of fact, I do it about as often as I get around to shaving... which, being a self-employed work-at-home type with naturally slovenly tendencies, isn't as often as it should be. But it does happen, and when it does I freely admit to suffering the same flaw that any other astrologer will admit to (if they are human and honest about it): it's pretty damned hard to be objective about yourself.

Or, as I used to tell my students on the subject: "Even the world's best surgeon probably shouldn't try to take out his or her own appendix."

Nonetheless, this Christmas Eve I sat down to check out my own transits before commencing with my day. I admit I was troubled to see as many difficult aspects happening that day as I did.

My original plan had been to attend the Christmas Eve fund-raising event run by Muttville Senior Dog Rescue. They do good work, and besides... a $1.00 Senior Dog Kissing Booth? Holy cow, does it really ever get better than that?

A typical Muttvile Dog description: "Bumper is a 12 year old corgi mix, possibly with some Shepard or Jack Russell terrier. He was rescued from a high kill shelter by Muttville and has nothing but love for other dogs and people. Despite being completely blind and partially deaf, this little guy gets around very well."

C'mon. Seriously. If that doesn't have you ready to scream with some combination of small-child glee and full-to-bursting Buddha compassion, check yourself for a pulse.

So before heading out, I had a look at the astrology of the day. And my thought processes were a little like this:

"Hmmm. Uranus is square my Jupiter, but that's been going on for a long time, so let's not worry about that just this second. The North Node is conjunct my Sun, but... yeah, well, that has a whole bunch of karmic implications that are kind of hard to nail down practically. And this morning's New Moon was conjunct my Mercury-Venus midpoint, which is, umm... kinda karmic too, so God knows what that could mean. But: Transiting Mars is conjunct my natal Uranus-Pluto conjunction, and square my Sun, so.... hmmm... violently unexpected Ego upsets? A sense of either being denied my destiny, or finding it and getting screwed by it? Maybe."

Naturally, I put that together with my plans and figured that perhaps I'd go there, see a dog I wanted but could never keep in my place, and I'd be devastated. Or maybe I just wouldn't care but couldn't afford the fee, and I'd get caught smuggling some three-legged terrier out under my jacket, or something like that. So I decided to avoid the whole matter entirely, and I changed my plans and went and did something a lot more emotionally safe.

***

This is why at 1:28 PM on Christmas Eve, while I was walking to the grocery store, my right foot was run over as I crossed the street, breaking four metatarsal bones like they were kindling. And of course, in hindsight, that incident fit the astrological symbolism of the time far better than any imaginary screaming fit over a dog.

Astrology doesn't lie... but if we let our expectations do all the talking, we'll never accurately hear what Astrology is actually saying to us.

(And yes, for those of you still wondering, I'm alive enough that sometime in the next week "Conquer The Universe With Astrology" really WILL be back, starting with the 2012 Forecast Show. Here's an excitingly non-specific preview. Now hand me the Vicodin.)