Eight Minutes Of Venus In Pisces

Whenever Venus enters Pisces... the sign of it's "exaltation"... it's time for the astrology bloggers to bust out the synonyms for "depth" and "compassion" and "confusion" and...

Why not just watch an 8 minute video that says and shows everything you need to know about Venus in Pisces, without actually spelling it out... which is kinda Piscean, if you think about it...

"To what end be Death, if not for Love?" Wow, look at all the colors! Hey, why is everyone dancing? Why am I dancing? "And what be life, if not for Love?" Holy cow, you're beautiful! "Say a hundred things, should you wish, the meaning still remains the same." I think I'm in love with you. "Who has ever known what Love is, and yet EVERYONE knows what Love is." Hey... is that a Product Placement? I know I shouldn't, but I'm so thirsty and this is delicious! "A garden of roses, love; strewn with thorns too, is love." I think I'm in love with you too. Hey, where did you go...?

Just put the astrology texts down for eight minutes and watch this instead. It will tell you everything Venus in Pisces wants you to know, and in far better style than I could ever muster. Hope you don't mind subtitles.

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If you're new to this blog, here's a sample of my previous shows and blog entries. Enjoy!

Sun Conjuct Chiron in Pisces

Chiron and Pisces
Sitting in a tree;
     K-I-S-S-I-N-G.
First comes love,
Then come despairing,
     Then poor Pisces
     Is a plate of fried herring.

Check out my show! If you like what you hear... there's more to come in the future! Please feel free to drop by and visit my Donations Page. It's what keeps me going and, and you might just get a surprise...

And yes, I still send free stuff to everyone who writes me!

Fun With Pisces! (Another "Conquer The Universe With Astrology" Original Video)

Oh, Pisces: you're so sweet and so kind. And you can take a joke about yourself. Or, if you can't... you're generally a pretty forgiving lot and willing to let me get away with it. What's not to love about that?

I know you must be tired of always coming last in the Zodiac, so I decided to do your sign third. That way, you get special attention, and only have to feel guilty about nine other signs coming in behind you. Anyway, if you're a Pisces... or know one, love one, want to seduce one, or buy one a drink (or any combination of the above), here's a brief orientation video for the disorienting (but delightful) world of the Fish People!

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Book Excerpt: Sun In Pisces

(The first episode of "Conquer The Universe With Astrology: The Radio Show" begins August 19th! Subcribe to this blog for further details... or find me on Twitter (@MatthewCurrie) or on Facebook! Hope to see you all there!)

Have you ever had that experience where you are drunk enough to do something that you know is probably a bad idea, yet still been sober enough to realize it while you're doing it? Congratulations... you have had The Pisces Experience.

The symbol for Pisces is The Fish. Or rather, two fishes, headed in opposite directions, and neither one aware of the fact that they are completely surrounded by water. Pisces people tend to be focus on the spiritual and the higher values in life. This is a nice way of saying that they aren't the most practical creatures on the planet. Pisces is naturally in tune with spiritual concepts like karma. They are the kind of people who can empathize with a dog about its mishandling as a puppy while that dog is biting them. This quality tends to make them natural "jerk magnets." On the upside, they are wonderfully compassionate lovers and companions: just ask any jerk.

Fish folks love fantasy and adventure tales, and they have a peculiar gift for turning their lives into fantasy adventure tales. Unfortunately for Pisces, there is a shortage of magic wands and Lost Arks lying around to bring these stories to a successful resolution. Thus Pisces will often invest a lot of their time and energy into alcohol and/or drugs, which usually provide a much more predictable resolution than “real life” ever could.

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Pisces: ShamWow Of The Zodiac

Hi, it’s Vince for Pisces! You’ll be saying wow every time you get involved with one! It’s like a chamois! It’s like a towel! It’s like a sponge! Most people just can't soak up this much raw sentiment and guilt! Pisces holds twenty times its weight in tears. Look at this! (wrings Pisces out over a bucket labelled "Early Childhood Trauma") It just does the work!

Why would you want to work twice as hard, emotionally? You have issues? Pisces will soak 'em up. You can make it feel like it's all Pisces' fault, and Pisces wrings out good as new. (Bashes Pisces flat against the counter-top) Look at that! Completely dry and ready for more of the same!

Here’s some cola, anger, wine, infidelity, coffee, accusations, and pet stains. Whatever you bring home, Pisces will mop it up and come back for more. Take a Pisces home with you tonight! Marry one! Better yet: get one for your home, and keep one the side at the office. They'll both blame themselves for your bad behavior! You following me, camera guy? No other sign's gonna put up with your crap quite like that! Look! I just blamed my drug habit on Pisces... and Pisces takes it! And look, Pisces is still empathizing! It acts like a vacuum! And yet Pisces still thinks I'm cute! See what I’m telling ya?

Pisces! You’ll be saying: make mine Fishy!

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Greeting Cards From The Mutable Signs Of The Zodiac

Gemini:

Virgo:

Sagittarius:

Pisces: