What Can An Astrologer Do For You?

More people would take advantage of the services of a professional Astrologer if they knew what an astrologer can actually DO for them. Here's a brief introductory video... with lots and lots of scary warnings about side effects.

Check out my show! If you like what you hear... there's more to come in the future! Please feel free to drop by and visit my Donations Page. It's what keeps me going and, and you might just get a surprise...And yes, I still send free stuff to everyone who writes me!

If you're new to this blog, here's a sample of my previous shows and blog entries. Enjoy!

Fun With Astrology: The Video Series

For the many of you who asked (and bless ye, by the way), "Conquer The Universe With Astrology" (and me, for that matter) will be back in a couple of weeks, with more and better guests, amusements, and astrology than ever.

In the meantime, it turns out many of you haven't been introduced to my video series. Here are the links... have a listen to your Sun Sign and be mildly offended... then listen to everyone else's and be amused and informed.

Fun With Aries

Fun With Taurus

Fun With Gemini

Fun With Cancer

Fun With Leo

Fun With Virgo

Fun With Libra

Fun With Scorpio

Fun With Sagittarius

Fun With Capricorn

Fun With Aquarius

Fun With Pisces

Fun With Sagittarius! (Another "Conquer The Universe With Astrology" Original Video)

Oh, Sagittarius... bouncing through life so carefree and-- look out! Whew. Sometimes that easygoing carefree disregard you have for common sense can be a little... what? Ah, I see. You've already thought it out. Well, then, I'm sure that you can go on juggling chain saws indefinitely without harm

For the rest of you, here's Sagittarius...

Check out my show! If you like what you hear... there's more to come in the future! Please feel free to drop by and visit my Donations Page. It's what keeps me going and, and you might just get a surprise...

Fun With Scorpio! (Another "Conquer The Universe With Astrology" Original Video)

Oh Scorpio... so fun loving, so understanding, so willing to not take yourself seriously... I'm sorry it took me so long to put this together for you, and I know how you love it when someone teases you and denies you and then... please Scorpio, please.. just put the knife down and watch, okay?

Check out my show! If you like what you hear... there's more to come in the future! Please feel free to drop by and visit my Donations Page. It's what keeps me going and, and you might just get a surprise...

Fun With Libra! (Another "Conquer The Universe With Astrology" Original Video)

They say Libra is the "partnership sign": always either looking for a partner or compensating for their partner's flaws. Sounds like the kind of people who'll forgive me for a bit of teasing, don't they? Let's find out!

All my other Astrology Videos are HERE!

Check out my show! If you like what you hear... there's more to come in the future! Please feel free to drop by and visit my Donations Page. It's what keeps me going and, and you might just get a surprise...

And yes, I still send free stuff to everyone who writes me!
If you're new to this blog, here's a sample of my previous shows and blog entries. Enjoy!

Fun With Virgo! (Another "Conquer The Universe With Astrology" Original Video)

Virgo: smart and analytical, yet sexy. Ask one and they'll give you a detailed list of the reasons you should love them. This video will tell you what you need to know about them, in a haphazard and badly organized manner.

Join me tonight at 10 PM Eastern (7 PM Pacific) TONIGHT for "Conquer The Universe With Astrology; Love Around The Zodiac (Part I)"! I'll be reading selections from my e-book of the same name, and answering questions about YOUR birth chart and YOUR love life tonight. Join in the Chat Room or call me at (323) 443-7252. Hey... if you aren't out on a hot date tonight... why not?

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN OR SET A REMINDER

Fun With Leo! (Another "Conquer The Universe With Astrology" Original Video)

Leo: you know the clichés. King Of The Jungle. Rules The Roost. Has Hair Issues. Ah, but there's so much more to the Lion! No, really! Just ask one: they'll tell you about it. At length.

On second thought... maybe you should just watch this video instead. It'll take a lot less time.

Coming this week to "Conquer The Universe With Astrology":

Christopher Witecki of Soulgarden. tv!

The return of astrologer Maria DeSimone, and a look at Jupiter in Aries!

Practical astrological health, weight loss, and body image talk with medical astrologer Eileen Nauman!

Click 'em to set your reminders!

Fun With Gemini! (Another "Conquer The Universe With Astrology" Original Video)

Gemini: So full of mental energy! So complex! So damned hard to get a handle on sometimes! Watch this instructional video and see if you don't agree. Or, if you're a Gemini yourself... see if you don't agree and disagree simultaneously...

On tonight's "Conquer The Universe With Astrology": The amazing Michael Lutin drops by to explain why the world is going off the rails... and he'll do so with humor and style!.

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN OR SET A REMINDER

That's at 10 PM Eastern, 7 PM Pacific. And don't forget about Friday's special 5 PM Eastern (2 PM Pacific) "Conquer The Universe" where we're going to have a look at how YOU can maximize your appeal and sexiness based on the details of you birth chart in an episode I call "Conquer The Universe With Astrology: Look Good And Attract Love"!

See you all there!

Fun With Taurus! (Another "Conquer The Universe With Astrology" Original Video)

Taurus, the Bull: Solid, stable, and beefy. It's the one sign of the Zodiac that can pull a plow single-handedly, or go great with a baked potato. A source of strength to many, and a stubborn roadblock to many others. Here at last their secrets are revealed!

Ha! Get it? ReVEALed. Okay, enough with the puns. Here's the video...

(Still haven't lost weight, met your soul mate, cleaned up your clutter, gotten a better job, stuck to your budget, or started that new project yet? You need "Conquer The Universe With Astrology: Your Resolution Repair Kit" at a special day and time... 1/11/11 at 9 PM Eastern (6 PM Pacific) on Blogtalkradio! Listen in and I'll help you get what you want in the next year! Click here to listen ...)

(And, CLICK HERE to download your FREE Guide to the Astrology of 2011, courtesy of Sasstrology.com!)

Fun With Aries! (Another "Conquer The Universe With Astrology" Original Video)

Aries: bold, fierce, forthright... you know the story. Also, hopefully, Aries has a sense of humor about itself too. And if not, well... maybe the rest of you will appreciate the following video. If you live with one, love one, work for one, are trying to seduce one, or just want to avoid being run over by one, the following video will help you get a handle on The Sign Of The Ram:

Still haven't lost weight, met your soul mate, cleaned up your clutter, gotten a better job, stuck to your budget, or started that new project yet? You need "Conquer The Universe With Astrology: Your Resolution Repair Kit" at a special day and time... 1/11/11 at 9 PM Eastern (6 PM Pacific) on Blogtalkradio! Listen in and I'll help you get what you want in the next year! Click here to listen or set a reminder...

Fun With Pisces! (Another "Conquer The Universe With Astrology" Original Video)

Oh, Pisces: you're so sweet and so kind. And you can take a joke about yourself. Or, if you can't... you're generally a pretty forgiving lot and willing to let me get away with it. What's not to love about that?

I know you must be tired of always coming last in the Zodiac, so I decided to do your sign third. That way, you get special attention, and only have to feel guilty about nine other signs coming in behind you. Anyway, if you're a Pisces... or know one, love one, want to seduce one, or buy one a drink (or any combination of the above), here's a brief orientation video for the disorienting (but delightful) world of the Fish People!

Listen to my show, "Conquer The Universe With Astrology," and write me for free stuff!

Fun With Aquarius! (Another "Conquer The Universe With Astrology" Original Video)

Aquarius. Who knows with Aquarius? Always getting pegged as "strange" or "a bit odd" or "marching to the beat of their own drummer" and things like that. Even if you're an Aquarius yourself, you could probably use a little help figuring Aquarius out. And if you want to love/romance/seduce an Aquarius... you could probably use a lot of help getting a handle on The Water Bearer. In either case, here's a brief video that will help you figure Aquarius out. Well, as much as anything can help with that, anyway...

Join me TONIGHT at 10 PM Eastern (7 PM Pacific) on "Conquer The Universe With Astrology" when my guest will be Jeff Jawer! CLICK HERE to set a reminder...

Fun With Capricorn! (Another "Conquer The Universe With Astrology" Original Video)

Poor Capricorn... you just can't catch a break lately, can you? Pluto's in your sign, Saturn is squaring it, Mars is currently making you all agitated... face it: if anyone could stand a laugh today, it's you. And for those of you who know and/or love a Capricorn, or would like to, or are just planning to seduce one for your own amusement... you could probably use a little stress relief yourself.

So: here's a little video reminder as to the wonders of Goathood. Please feel free to enjoy it in an orderly and constructive manner:

Join me tomorrow on "Conquer The Universe With Astrology" when my guest will be Jeff Jawer! CLICK HERE to set a reminder...

Showtime With Astrologer Maria DeSimone!

Insights, predictions, your questions answered, and all the stuff that makes Astrology both fun and functional.

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN!

And of course... free stuff for anyone who writes in. Listen for details!

One more thing? If you call in, we'd love to answer your questions, but try to be more polite than THIS guy, willya?