Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Book Excerpt: Sun In Aquarius

(The first episode of "Conquer The Universe With Astrology: The Radio Show" begins August 19th! Subcribe to this blog for further details... or find me on Twitter (@MatthewCurrie) or on Facebook! Hope to see you all there!)

The symbol for Aquarius is The Water Bearer, which is confusing because Aquarius isn't a "water sign,” it's an "air sign”. And when you combine atmosphere and moisture, you get fog. That pretty much describes what the thought processes of a typical Aquarius looks like to an outside observer. Aquarius is the sign most likely to have learned that “I gotta be me” is not a valid legal defence.

Aquarians have a reputation for being forward-thinking and rebellious. That's because they'd rather organize a sit-in than follow directions at work. Whereas most people will look at the crack in a dam and fear disaster, a typical Aquarius will simply stick his finger in -- although whether they're doing it to stop the leak or pry it open wider is anyone's guess. They tend to be comfortable with the scientific, analytical mindset, which tends to make them excellent researchers and awkward first dates: no one wants to be dissected over wine and pasta.

Aquarius people have both a strong independent streak and an appreciation for the thoughts and company of others. This makes them both excellent leaders who understand the strengths of the “herd mentality” but also the one most likely to run off on their own and get themselves eaten by a wolf.

Often, Aquarians have a fondness for fantasy, science fiction, and romantic historical fiction. That’s because "the here and now" is a really awkward place to spend all your time. especially if you're a chronic misfit like Aquarius. They can be excellent lovers, but you may always have the sneaking suspicion that they have just as much affection for their sex toys as they do for you.



Thursday, November 12, 2009

Can You Prove That Neptune Isn't A Socialist?

More examples of Neptune-induced cloudiness, deception, and intellectual failure, on the heels of my recent article about Sarah Palin and her ongoing free-fall into intellectual Neverland:

-Former Miss California (and former paragon of "traditional values") Carrie Prejean has recently had a sex tape (admittedly, solo) come to light, pulled an freak-out on Larry King, during a typical King softball interview (make sure you watch the Anderson Cooper clip about it), and then urged her ex-boyfriend to lie in order to back up her story about the sex tape having been made three years before it actually was... not realizing that the one time you can always count on an ex NOT lying about you is when the truth will make you look bad. Please also note the holiday pictures of Carrie and her boyfriend, where I'm sure absolutely no premarital sex happened, whatsoever.

Neptune has been squaring Carrie's Sun at 22 Taurus (and possibly her Moon too -- we don't have a time of birth) throughout her entire career fall. The Sun of course, rules how a person expresses their Ego. Also, her moon is somewhere-or-other in Scorpio, which is a great placement for making a sex tape. Also, for not wanting your sex tape to come up in public. Also, for getting cranky over minor perceived slights.

-In other Neptune news, Glenn Beck has recently recovered from an emergency appendectomy. He also had hemorrhoid surgery at the end of 2007. During this entire period of time, transiting Neptune has been conjunct Beck's natal Sun. This is a vote for Beck having Leo on the sixth house cusp (health matters), which might imply Pisces rising. Personally, I think that's a reasonable guess. Pisces can be frequently moved to tears by works of fiction, like the story about how America is falling to socialism.

Then again, Pisces is normally pretty compassionate, and so far Glenn hasn't apparently said anything about the financial ruin and/or unnecessary death he might well be facing if this had happened while he was one of America's 40 million or so people without medical coverage when this happened, and he continues to bash efforts to extend coverage to such people... so I might be wrong.

-Finally, former Vice President and Sith Lord Dick Cheney is facing questions about his role in the politically-convenient outing of a CIA agent. Transiting Neptune is currently squaring his natal Midheaven (career and public image), and normally Cheney has presented himself as efficient and whip-smart. The recently-declassified FBI document about his questioning in the matter showed that Cheney, uncharacteristically, couldn't recall the answer to a lot of questions. Seventy-two times, he couldn't recall.

My apologies if any of this appears politically partisan on my part. I assure you, it wasn't my idea to put Neptune where it is. Of course... I can't prove that I didn't, either.



Book Excerpt: Sun In Capricorn

(The first episode of "Conquer The Universe With Astrology: The Radio Show" begins August 19th! Subcribe to this blog for further details... or find me on Twitter (@MatthewCurrie) or on Facebook! Hope to see you all there!)

The symbol for Capricorn is The Goat, but the ancient Babylonian symbol was a weird-looking goat/fish hybrid, because ancient Babylonians didn't have All Terrain Vehicles, which would have described Capricorn pretty well. They are solid and steady in almost every environment, and don't mind running you over to get to where they're going.

They usually worry too much about things, and even the happy ones usually end up sprouting worry lines on their forehead a little sooner than everyone else. They aren't necessarily more prone to depression than any other sign, but they are certainly more at home than most in that state of mind. What usually pulls them though is the solid determination that somehow life will be better if they can arrange things more logically.

Capricorns understand the value of keeping their nose to the grindstone, and Capricorn bosses usually keep their employee's noses ground to the cheekbones.

Goat People are usually the stable base you can build just about anything on. The men are usually reliable and hard-working. The women are sensitive enough to be hurt about all the right things, but brave enough to not let it show too much.


Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Book Excerpt: Sun In Sagittarius

(The first episode of "Conquer The Universe With Astrology: The Radio Show" begins August 19th! Subcribe to this blog for further details... or find me on Twitter (@MatthewCurrie) or on Facebook! Hope to see you all there!)

The symbol for Sagittarius is the Centaur. That's because (although anyone can make a horse's ass of themselves) Sagittarians are actually born that way. They have an open, trusting, and bouncy approach to life, which is perhaps why they are prone to bouncing into open pits more than any other sign. Their faith in life is so deeply wired into them that they often literally don't bother to look where they are going, and thus tend to be accident-prone. That’s also the excuse they use for most of their relationship failures.

Sagittarians have a reputation for being freedom-loving and independent. This is how they like to see it -- everyone else merely thinks of them as being reckless and not taking direction well.

People are rarely surprised when a gay Sagittarius comes out of the closet, because they were usually broadcasting it to the world without trying. You can usually count on a Sagittarius to broadcast whatever is on their mind... their kid, their complaints about work, the details of their hernia operation, and so on. They are considered to be natural communicators, which is a nice way of saying they have an open-mouth policy. In the classic fairy tale "The Emperor's New Clothes," the kid who pointed out that the Emperor was actually naked was probably a Sagittarius. And if the Emperor had been one too, he would have probably countered with something like "Yeah, and it's GREAT! How do you all like my junk?"


Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Can Sarah Palin See Neptune From Her House?

Forgive me for a moment if this entry veers too far into political territory for your tastes (or the wrong political territory) -- but Sarah Palin is once more providing an excellent example of how astrological transits (specifically, the ongoing presence of Jupiter and Neptune in Aquarius) can really mess with a person's judgement.

Although we don't know what time Ms. Palin was born at (February 11, 1964, Sandpoint Idaho), it's immediately obvious that what's driving her birth chart is her Sun-Mars-Saturn stellium in Aquarius, clustered between 22 and 25 degrees of that sign. That's where Jupiter has been between April and August 2009, and is within range of there again now.

Jupiter brings a lot of bounce and enthusiasm to whatever part of your birth chart it contacts. In Ms. Palin's case, this applies to her Ego (the Sun), her Drives (Mars), and her sense of Order (Saturn). And certainly, it's been a busy, bouncy, enthusiastic time for her. In May, she signed a book deal for a major advance. Then in June she decided to quit her job as Governor of Alaska with a year and a half to go on the job... which is pretty optimistic of her (optimism is a Jupiter thing too). And overall, she's managed to stay in the national spotlight and stay well-loved by her fan base, despite political defeat.

Neptune has also been hovering in that sector of the sky, as it has since December 2007. Neptune has an interesting effect on the birth chart. It rules things like spirituality and higher consciousness. But no planet is an entirely positive thing: Neptune also rules delusion and self-deception. One way or another, Neptune tends to cloud the judgement.

During this same period of time, Sarah Palin has endorsed a virtually-unknown third party candidate "who can't answer some basic questions" about his local politics, thus splitting the right-wing vote and costing Sarah's party a seat in Congress they have held since "jail" was spelled "gaol."

She also continues to publicly rumble with 19-year-old hockey player Levi Johnston, despite his ongoing claims to know some as-yet-unrevealed Palin family secrets that might "get her in trouble and could hurt her." The standard way to handle this sort of thing in politics would be to dismiss the whole matter as the ramblings of a 19-year-old hockey player who is only seeking attention (watch for his upcoming appearance in Playgirl).

But perhaps the most telling sign that Neptune is messing with Ms. Palin's functions? The Death Panel business.

America is currently struggling with the rightness of legislation that would give it public health care, which most of the civilized world already has. For various reasons, most right-wing politicians (who will be the first to declare that America is The Greatest Country On Earth) are of the opinion that Americans having anything better than the 38th Greatest Life Expectancy on Earth while paying The Greatest Health Care Bills On Earth is "socialism"...

...but like I said, this is about astrology, not politics...

Anyway: said legislation contains a provision for covering "end of life counseling." This means that, whereas private insurers will often deny hospice coverage to terminally ill patients (there's little profit to be had from soon-to-be-dead folks), the public coverage wouldn't leave these people on the side of the road to die the old-fashioned way.

-That's not at all what the legislation says
-Nowhere on Earth with publicly-funded health care has such a thing
-That would require legalizing euthanasia, which the legislation doesn't do
-Private health insurance does exactly that on a de facto basis by sometimes denying life-saving treatment.

Fortunately for the sake of intelligent, civilized discourse, she soon thereafter backed down from her fairly ludicrous statements, saying that "we must stick to a discussion of the issues and not get sidetracked by tactics that can be accused of leading to intimidation or harassment."

But then, mavericky creature that she is, Ms. Palin has recently returned to the mythical Death Panels as a reason to reject public health insurance, thus contradicting both what the legislation actually says and herself.

Like I said: Neptune tends to cloud the judgement.

Of course, I could point out that all this cloudy judgement is simply a more ham-fisted-than-usual example of how certain political stripes have attempted to gain and retain power via overly-simplistic fear-mongering... but I won't. After all, I'm just an astrologer. It's my job to point out the effects of the planets... not to point out the obvious.


Book Excerpt: Sun In Scorpio

(The first episode of "Conquer The Universe With Astrology: The Radio Show" begins August 19th! Subcribe to this blog for further details... or find me on Twitter (@MatthewCurrie) or on Facebook! Hope to see you all there!)

Scorpios are the most likely sign to have a complex about what sign there are. And for good reason: Scorpios have accumulated a reputation for being vengeful, wilful, and oversexed. This is inherently unfair to a Scorpio. They aren't any worse than anyone else... they're just far more focused about it when they are being awful.

The symbol for Scorpio is the scorpion, which is a creature capable of surviving and thriving in a wide variety of difficult environments. Biologists point out that this is due to their tough build and a stinger in the tail. The truth, however, is that most scorpions are just too stubborn to die under normal circumstances. And, in the event you have one wanting to kill you, they are unlikely to give up until they've achieved that goal too.

Scorpios are easy to annoy. All you have to do is invade their privacy, ask too many questions, or turn them down for sex. They make excellent reporters and detectives, which are career paths noted for involvement with invading people's privacy, asking too many questions, and sex. This is often balanced out by a great deal of inner strength and wisdom, which was usually hard-won after years of being told they're too intense.

Once a Scorpio sets their mind to something, they are incredibly difficult to stop. And they generally don't take it well if you try. Remember that friend of yours when you were a kid who totally freaked out when he lost a game of Monopoly? That kid was probably a Scorpio.


Monday, November 9, 2009

Saturn in Libra, Square Pluto In Capricorn

It's not suffering, per se... it's about seeing through the material things and perceiving The Truth. And sometimes... that can get a little messy. Ultimately, though, it's for the best.



Book Excerpt: Sun In Libra

(The first episode of "Conquer The Universe With Astrology: The Radio Show" begins August 19th! Subcribe to this blog for further details... or find me on Twitter (@MatthewCurrie) or on Facebook! Hope to see you all there!)

The symbol for Libra is The Scales, which is entirely appropriate. Libras love weighing things: whether to buy this shirt or that shirt, what to say to their creditors to keep them quiet for a while, their odds of getting attention at the bar tonight, and themselves (followed by the traditional complaining). They are considered to be a peaceful, agreeable, partnership-oriented person... which is largely a scam. Ultimately, Libras aren't any more accommodating as anyone else: they simply have a gift for subtle persuasion of both themselves and others.

Libras aren't actually any more attractive than anyone else, but they tend to come across that way because they think they're attractive. Having unintentionally mastered that particular psychological trick, their next move is to cruise the horizon for a mate, like The Terminator scanning for someone to kill. Libra is often considered to be the "romantic" sign. And if by "romantic" you mean "having your way with someone and making them think it was their idea in the first place," you'd be right. That doesn't mean they are oversexed... once in a relationship, Libra can be as boring as everyone else.

Libras often appear to have little or no problem in life. That's because they have mastered the art of projection: they don't have control issues... you're the one who's acting up.


(And now, Shakira demonstrates which body part Libra rules.)

Friday, November 6, 2009

Book Excerpt: Sun In Virgo

(The first episode of "Conquer The Universe With Astrology: The Radio Show" begins August 19th! Subcribe to this blog for further details... or find me on Twitter (@MatthewCurrie) or on Facebook! Hope to see you all there!)

The symbol for Virgo is the Virgin, which is in some ways the most misleading of all the Zodiac symbols. Virgos have just as much of a sex drive as anyone else: they're just less likely to be caught at it. They are patient, organized, and efficient people... although they will complain to you that they aren't organized or efficient enough, even when it's obvious they're better at that sort of thing than you are. Although slovenly and unkempt Virgos do exist, they are rare. Even the slovenly Virgos tend to have some area of their lives well-ordered and running efficiently... usually, their large collection of obsessions and neuroses.

People tend to think of Virgos as a little on the cold or indifferent side. This can make Virgos annoying to others, which can hurt a Virgo's feelings. They usually deal with that by presenting themselves as being a little cold or indifferent.

Virgos tend to be intelligent and focused workers, especially if the job involves organizing, cleaning, or being a martyr. They fall into the martyr role easily, being sensitive and caring people who always want to make things better. Although intelligent and knowledgeable, they often lack that sense of a "big picture." In other words: they tend to know where all the fire exits are but waste too much time cleaning out their desks when the building actually bursts into flames.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Anvil: The Heavy Metal Key To Understanding Saturn In Libra

By now, you've undoubtedly heard that Saturn has entered Libra, and read a lot of things about how Libra is the "partnership sign" and how Saturn's presence there means your relationships will be tested, and your standards of fairness will be challenged, and how it will be more difficult to manage your budget, and so on.

This of course is all true... but I can't help but wonder if somehow Saturn's real message isn't being lost in all the details. Astrology can be like that sometimes. There are so many little details to keep an eye on that it's entirely too easy to miss the forest for the trees.

So rather than present a laundry list of what Saturn in Libra "means" or "doesn't mean"... I'd like to present you with an object lesson on how to handle it. Seriously: there is an easy way you can learn everything you need to know about surviving and thriving under Saturn in Libra... and you can rent it and watch it in an hour and a half. It also happens to be (probably) the best documentary I've ever seen.

Now... watch this trailer for "Anvil! The Story Of Anvil." Then go out and get a copy:

To summarize:

-Achieving your goals, particularly if you are an artist or other creator, is never easy.

-Making money being a creator is often difficult.

-Maintaining a partnership with someone you love is often made difficult by practical considerations.

-Often... it would be easier to just give up and let "common sense" dictate your behavior.

But more than anything, the real lesson of Saturn in Libra (or in any other sign, for that matter) is this:

Never give up.

"That's dedication, pal."

(If you're new here... welcome! Meet my show, "Conquer The Universe With Astrology")

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Book Excerpt: Sun In Leo

(The first episode of "Conquer The Universe With Astrology: The Radio Show" begins August 19th! Subcribe to this blog for further details... or find me on Twitter (@MatthewCurrie) or on Facebook! Hope to see you all there!)

The sign of Leo is ruled by the Sun, and the Sun rules the Ego. Thus, if a person's Sun is in Leo, it's a little like the inmates are running the asylum. Leos are frequently mistaken for being pompous and/or self-important. This is a common mistake: it isn't a celebrity's fault that he gets used to adoration and attention, so it probably isn't his fault that he ends up in rehab six months after his show has been cancelled. After all, egos require a lot of support – which is why Leo can often be found bitching loudly about child support payments. A Leo’s idea of hell is a place where no one notices them, except momentarily to comment on Leo’s bad hair day.

Lion People are fond of sports and games, whether it’s football, romance, or wrestling with the neighbour’s dog in the back yard. They tend to be fond of small animals, because small animals don't care when you're being clownish. In fact, small animals often prefer that approach from humans. This is why many Leos have their most successful relationships with pets. Pets accept you for who you truly are, and that sort of thing is incredibly valuable to Leos. A mere human, on the other hand, sometimes doesn’t appreciate it when a Leo is overwhelmed by their cuteness and just has to give you a squeeze right now! Leos are fond of romance, and are usually good at it. They love the thrill of the hunt and the sweetness and affection that come with the early stages of a relationship. Follow-thorough into the long term isn't their strong suit however, which is why Leos can often be found defending themselves against paternity suits, often pausing to hit on whoever is behind the counter as they file another delaying motion.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Book Excerpt: Sun In Cancer

(The first episode of "Conquer The Universe With Astrology: The Radio Show" begins August 19th! Subcribe to this blog for further details... or find me on Twitter (@MatthewCurrie) or on Facebook! Hope to see you all there!)
Crabs have evolved thick, impenetrable shells as an evolutionary defence against being boiled and served with melted butter. And, like a crab, cancers have evolved their personalities to defend their sweet, tasty insides from invaders.
Cancers have developed a reputation for being oversensitive, which is not surprising when the symbol for their sign is a crawly thing that's named after a deadly illness. When the ancient Romans had an unwanted child, they would often carry it off into the woods and leave it to die. When you tell most people that, they are horrified. When you tell most Cancers that, they will (on one level or another) relate it to a story from their own childhood, real or imagined. Cancers never forget a slight or an insult. Whereas other signs can usually "get over it," Cancers tend to file these things away for future reference.
Cancers are sweet, kind, caring and passionate people who often choose to hide it behind a mask of stiff, snarky indifference. Being as caring as they are is not an easy thing in a world full of jerks, thus they often disguise themselves as even bigger jerks than everyone else. You can usually see that sensitivity of theirs if you look deeply into their big sensitive eyes, but don't be surprised if they smack you one for it. No one is supposed to know these things about them, and by reading this, you've probably been quietly added to their Potential Enemies list.