Neptune in Pisces: Earthquake And Hurricane

Tomorrow at 4 PM Pacific (1 PM Pacific) on Conquer The Universe With Astrology": I'll be discussing the Neptune in Pisces years. May God Have mercy on us all.

No, scratch that... may we all have mercy on each other. Maybe God has had quite enough of us yelling at Him to fix the mess we've made for ourselves.

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"Hurricane hurricane
A mighty earthquake and a hurricane
The earth cracked open and was breathing fire
Everybody's running none ready to die
Some going crazy some insane
Saying save me from the mighty hurricane
People scrambling and on the run
Like they were hit with the atom bomb
Some lay cripple some lay lame
Just save me from the mighty hurricane
Rich folks falling down on their knees
Begging lord have mercy if you please
Take all of my money I don't need a thing
Just save me from the mighty hurricane"

-Willie Dixon

...here's Lurrie Bell's perfectly appropriate cover version. Have a listen, and join me tomorrow.

Neptune In Pisces - The Peasants Are Revolting (And You Don't Smell So Good Either)

So, what happens when The Lord Of Dreams enters The Sign Of The Dreamers? Is it a time when dreams can come true? Is it a time of Magic and Wonder and Fairy Tale Endings? Will the true power of the Human Spirit and Imagination be unleashed to form a world worthy of our highest aspirations?

Will we all hold hands and collectively dream a better world for ourselves?

I dunno. Ask a Teabagger or a Birther or a Terrorist or a Socialist or a Revolutionary or a Gitmo Detainee or any of the other many, many Spooks and Ghosties scratching at the door of our collective unconscious trying to find an entry into our world.

Or better yet... ask an astrologer.

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How will the affect you personally? Give me a call at (323) 443-7252 and find out!

"...wake up..."

Check out my show! If you like what you hear... there's more to come in the future! Please feel free to drop by and visit my Donations Page. It's what keeps me going and, and you might just get a surprise...

And yes, I still send free stuff to everyone who writes me!


If you're new to this blog, here's a sample of my previous shows and blog entries. Enjoy!

St. Patrick's Day, A Supermoon -- The Bar Is Open!

Tonight on "Conquer The Universe With Astrology" -- well, you know... we could discuss the upcoming Supermoon, we could discuss the role of karma in astrology, we could answer your questions if you call (323) 443-7252... or my guest Marguerite Manning (author of "Cosmic Karma") and I could just open the bar, act like it's Sait Patrick's Day, and get rowdy for an hour. Tune in at 10 PM Eastern (7 PM Pacific) and find out which way it turns out.

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN OR SET A REMINDER!

Check out my show! If you like what you hear... there's more to come in the future! Please feel free to drop by and visit my Donations Page. It's what keeps me going and, and you might just get a surprise...

And yes, I still send free stuff to everyone who writes me!


If you're new to this blog, here's a sample of my previous shows and blog entries. Enjoy!

Astro-Singalong: Lingering Doubts As Saturn in Virgo Quincunxes Neptune In Aquarius

(Find my regular blog entries HERE, for free!)

Father look in my eyes
See me as I really am
You made me
Now take me...


Tell me how it feels now
Behold you flesh has come of age
Forsake me, you break me...
Father!

Can You Prove That Neptune Isn't A Socialist?

More examples of Neptune-induced cloudiness, deception, and intellectual failure, on the heels of my recent article about Sarah Palin and her ongoing free-fall into intellectual Neverland:

-Former Miss California (and former paragon of "traditional values") Carrie Prejean has recently had a sex tape (admittedly, solo) come to light, pulled an freak-out on Larry King, during a typical King softball interview (make sure you watch the Anderson Cooper clip about it), and then urged her ex-boyfriend to lie in order to back up her story about the sex tape having been made three years before it actually was... not realizing that the one time you can always count on an ex NOT lying about you is when the truth will make you look bad. Please also note the holiday pictures of Carrie and her boyfriend, where I'm sure absolutely no premarital sex happened, whatsoever.

Neptune has been squaring Carrie's Sun at 22 Taurus (and possibly her Moon too -- we don't have a time of birth) throughout her entire career fall. The Sun of course, rules how a person expresses their Ego. Also, her moon is somewhere-or-other in Scorpio, which is a great placement for making a sex tape. Also, for not wanting your sex tape to come up in public. Also, for getting cranky over minor perceived slights.

-In other Neptune news, Glenn Beck has recently recovered from an emergency appendectomy. He also had hemorrhoid surgery at the end of 2007. During this entire period of time, transiting Neptune has been conjunct Beck's natal Sun. This is a vote for Beck having Leo on the sixth house cusp (health matters), which might imply Pisces rising. Personally, I think that's a reasonable guess. Pisces can be frequently moved to tears by works of fiction, like the story about how America is falling to socialism.

Then again, Pisces is normally pretty compassionate, and so far Glenn hasn't apparently said anything about the financial ruin and/or unnecessary death he might well be facing if this had happened while he was one of America's 40 million or so people without medical coverage when this happened, and he continues to bash efforts to extend coverage to such people... so I might be wrong.

-Finally, former Vice President and Sith Lord Dick Cheney is facing questions about his role in the politically-convenient outing of a CIA agent. Transiting Neptune is currently squaring his natal Midheaven (career and public image), and normally Cheney has presented himself as efficient and whip-smart. The recently-declassified FBI document about his questioning in the matter showed that Cheney, uncharacteristically, couldn't recall the answer to a lot of questions. Seventy-two times, he couldn't recall.

My apologies if any of this appears politically partisan on my part. I assure you, it wasn't my idea to put Neptune where it is. Of course... I can't prove that I didn't, either.

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Can Sarah Palin See Neptune From Her House?

Forgive me for a moment if this entry veers too far into political territory for your tastes (or the wrong political territory) -- but Sarah Palin is once more providing an excellent example of how astrological transits (specifically, the ongoing presence of Jupiter and Neptune in Aquarius) can really mess with a person's judgement.

Although we don't know what time Ms. Palin was born at (February 11, 1964, Sandpoint Idaho), it's immediately obvious that what's driving her birth chart is her Sun-Mars-Saturn stellium in Aquarius, clustered between 22 and 25 degrees of that sign. That's where Jupiter has been between April and August 2009, and is within range of there again now.

Jupiter brings a lot of bounce and enthusiasm to whatever part of your birth chart it contacts. In Ms. Palin's case, this applies to her Ego (the Sun), her Drives (Mars), and her sense of Order (Saturn). And certainly, it's been a busy, bouncy, enthusiastic time for her. In May, she signed a book deal for a major advance. Then in June she decided to quit her job as Governor of Alaska with a year and a half to go on the job... which is pretty optimistic of her (optimism is a Jupiter thing too). And overall, she's managed to stay in the national spotlight and stay well-loved by her fan base, despite political defeat.

Neptune has also been hovering in that sector of the sky, as it has since December 2007. Neptune has an interesting effect on the birth chart. It rules things like spirituality and higher consciousness. But no planet is an entirely positive thing: Neptune also rules delusion and self-deception. One way or another, Neptune tends to cloud the judgement.

During this same period of time, Sarah Palin has endorsed a virtually-unknown third party candidate "who can't answer some basic questions" about his local politics, thus splitting the right-wing vote and costing Sarah's party a seat in Congress they have held since "jail" was spelled "gaol."

She also continues to publicly rumble with 19-year-old hockey player Levi Johnston, despite his ongoing claims to know some as-yet-unrevealed Palin family secrets that might "get her in trouble and could hurt her." The standard way to handle this sort of thing in politics would be to dismiss the whole matter as the ramblings of a 19-year-old hockey player who is only seeking attention (watch for his upcoming appearance in Playgirl).

But perhaps the most telling sign that Neptune is messing with Ms. Palin's functions? The Death Panel business.

America is currently struggling with the rightness of legislation that would give it public health care, which most of the civilized world already has. For various reasons, most right-wing politicians (who will be the first to declare that America is The Greatest Country On Earth) are of the opinion that Americans having anything better than the 38th Greatest Life Expectancy on Earth while paying The Greatest Health Care Bills On Earth is "socialism"...

...but like I said, this is about astrology, not politics...

Anyway: said legislation contains a provision for covering "end of life counseling." This means that, whereas private insurers will often deny hospice coverage to terminally ill patients (there's little profit to be had from soon-to-be-dead folks), the public coverage wouldn't leave these people on the side of the road to die the old-fashioned way.

Ms. Palin's reading of this provision caused her to announce that "my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama's 'death panel' so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their 'level of productivity in society,' whether they are worthy of health care," despite:

-That's not at all what the legislation says

-Nowhere on Earth with publicly-funded health care has such a thing

-That would require legalizing euthanasia, which the legislation doesn't do

-Private health insurance does exactly that on a de facto basis by sometimes denying life-saving treatment.

Fortunately for the sake of intelligent, civilized discourse, she soon thereafter backed down from her fairly ludicrous statements, saying that "we must stick to a discussion of the issues and not get sidetracked by tactics that can be accused of leading to intimidation or harassment."

But then, mavericky creature that she is, Ms. Palin has recently returned to the mythical Death Panels as a reason to reject public health insurance, thus contradicting both what the legislation actually says and herself.

Like I said: Neptune tends to cloud the judgement.

Of course, I could point out that all this cloudy judgement is simply a more ham-fisted-than-usual example of how certain political stripes have attempted to gain and retain power via overly-simplistic fear-mongering... but I won't. After all, I'm just an astrologer. It's my job to point out the effects of the planets... not to point out the obvious.

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Are You Ready For More Dick?

"Saturn and Neptune aren't done with Dick (Cheney) yet. Stay tuned."

-Me, about three and a half months ago, on Dick Cheney

There are few things in life an astrologer likes than being right... even if it's about bad news. Former US Vice President Dick Cheney (who we all thought we were done with a while ago) is back in the news. And, as is usually the case for Dick, the news isn't good.

As you may recall, there was a story floating around the fringes of that Liberal Media you keep hearing abut that Dick had his own private hit squad while Vice President. This of course was quietly dismissed as partisan politics. Those charges may seem a little less paranoid in light of recent statements that Dick went “outside the law” when it came to not letting other members of the government know about certain CIA activities.

Which CIA activities? Secret stuff. Spy stuff. Maybe death squad stuff... we just aren't sure.

What am I sure about? Well, for one thing, transiting Saturn is now conjunct Dick's secondary-progressed Moon, ruler of his eleventh House ("love received"), and he certainly doesn't seem to have won any one's hearts with this latest set of rumors. I'm also sure transiting Jupiter and Neptune quincunxing natal Ascendant ruler Mercury isn't very good for public image.

One more thing I'm sure about? The transiting Sun (so often called a malefic in Vedic astrology, and so often causing me to agree) will be passing through Dick Cheney's 12th House (hidden matters) starting in about a week and a half, and continuing until mid to late August.

...and I'm sure there's going to be more legal activity that backs up the rumors. You heard it here first.

(Then again, maybe I'm just imagining that because I really, really like to see justice done, and I really, really like America in general, and I really, really wish they'd turn on those of their own who pervert its own best principles. Who knows? I'm an idealist. Like I said, we'll see...)

Dick Cheney: January 30, 1941, about 7:30 PM, Lincoln, Nebraska.)

The Amazing Recession-Buster Astrology Experiment CONTINUES, new and improved, and still no obligation! Click HERE for details!

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A Neptune Transit, Explained Via Haiku

Transiting Neptune

Trine my natal Jupiter

I wish I was drunk.

The Amazing Recession-Buster Astrology Experiment CONTINUES, new and improved, and still no obligation! Click HERE for details!

Jupiter Amplifies Neptune: Laura Ling And Euna Lee In A North Korean Prison

There is a perfectly good reason why you won't find a whole lot of astrology articles out there about North Korea, despite their nuke-swinging swagger of late and their arrest of two American journalists.

-No one knows for sure where or when Kim Jong-il was born (Various sources disagree on the year and the place -- it may have been in the Soviet Union).

-North Korea itself has no less that three official birth days: March 1, 1919, August 15, 1945, and September 9, 1948. Even worse: the Rodden database (the gold standard of astrological data) gives September 12th, 1948 as the "date of birth." This would make it a Virgo with Moon in Capricorn... which I can believe, even if there's nothing to back it.

-I can't even find reliable birth data for US journalists Laura Ling and Euna Lee, who were recently sentenced to twelve years hard labor in a North Korean prison for illegally crossing the border from China into North Korea under mysterious circumstances.

North Korea is perhaps the biggest black box in modern political history. I've had a perverse interest in the place for a while now, and take my word for it -- they make Maoist China look like Sweden when it comes to openness and transparency. So, on some level, the secrecy and confusion and misdirection makes perfect sense. So, it's perhaps not surprising that the People's Republic, led by The Dear Leader, is in the news. Jupiter amplifies any planet it comes in contact with, and it's currently conjunct Neptune, easily the weirdest and most delusional planet in the astrological tool kit.

Having said that: I'm at as much of a loss to tell you what's going on as anyone and everyone else on the planet is. And what little I know... as with everyone else... scares the hell out of me.

Happy Jupiter-Neptune conjunction, everyone!

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Are You There, God? It's Me... An Astrologer

Hi again. As per my previous blog entry, I'm still pounding away on the book and on my other projects, as per the handy widget on the right side of the blog. I'm also bringing back The Amazing Surprise Ten Buck Forecast Experiment and, although Version One was incredibly popular, this time it's back with a slightly improved twist. Check it out if you haven't seen it before... it's pretty cool, even if I do say so myself.

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We are now experiencing a conjunction between Jupiter and Neptune, which is something that only hits about once every twelve years. The ideal way to deal with this -- the fusion of philosophy and mysticism -- would probably be to go off into the woods, eat some mushrooms, and hallucinate a new direction in life.

Unfortunately, modern society doesn't tend to encourage the consumption of hallucinogens, even if it's in an important and time-honored spiritual context. And even if your boss does let you have the time off, good luck getting your medical coverage to pay for the psilocybin. 

So I've decided to provide the best substitute for you I can come up with on a blog. Achieve Enlightenment now... thank me later.

***

For a moment, please contemplate your own, deep down, personal answer to the following question:

Is there a God? Even if you aren't all that sure, odds are good that your answer will tend to either a "yes" or a "no." Either way, think about it for a moment. 

Got that? Good. Now, ponder the following two statements carefully, in light of your answer:

IF YOU BELIEVE IN GOD: There is not a single decent shred of scientific evidence out there anywhere for the existence of a Supreme Being. What little we do know about the birth, formation, and operation of the Universe does not require a Prime Mover, Creator, or Guiding Force. And what little we know about these things is not in line with the literal word of any of the scriptures of any of the major religions... or even of any of the minor ones, so far as I know. Go ahead: ask any physicist you know whether or not they believe in God. If that physicist says "yes," then ask him/her if any of the evidence in any way, shape or form unambiguously backs that contention. Unless your physicist is a graduation of one of those "universities" founded by a preacher, the answer is going to be "no." (If you physicist buddy did graduate from Sacred Pentecost Tax Shelter U., ask about how Adam and Eve and the dinosaurs all lived together in The Garden Of Eden. What follows next should be good for a few laughs if you know anything at all about science. Or logic.)

Inescapably, all reason and evidence points to the utterly unnecessary nature of a Creator.

IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD: If you were God, and were going to have a child (The Universe)... wouldn't you want that child to be as self-sufficient as possible?

***

There you have it. Contemplate until you achieve Enlightenment. And sorry I gave you work to do... this sort of thing is so much easier when there are mushrooms involved...

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Public Embarassment - Saturn and Neptune Bring Dick Cheney's Hit Squad To Light

When you have Virgo rising (ruled by Mercury), and your Mercury is in Aquarius in the Sixth House, people won't generally see you as a sympathetic character, especially when it comes to your approach to how you do your job. And when transiting Neptune is conjuncting that Mercury, and the transiting Moon is squaring your Ascendant, and Saturn is passing through your First House, don't be too surprised if some of your less-than-ethical job practices are revealed to the public.

...Kind of like right now for former US Vice President Dick Cheney. The story about JSOC, Dick Cheney's private Death Squad which I discussed here two weeks ago, and which was at first completely ignored or dismissed as left-wing lunacy, is finally on CNN.

Saturn and Neptune aren't done with Dick yet. Stay tuned.

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The Astrology Of Melamine: China, Deception, And Neptune In Your Milk

One thing that always fascinates me about astrology: "mundane astrology" (reading the birth chart of a company or a country) works just as well as reading the birth chart of an individual person.

Consider the case of China. In the recent past, China has attempted to polish their image with other nations via the spectacle of the Beijing Olympics (birth chart for the People's Republic Of China here). The problem here is that, although the intentions are good... the astrology is terrible. Not only did the Olympics turn out to be (at best) a mixed blessing for China, but China is now the subject of a great deal of foreign press. Not in a good way, though.

China's economy relies heavily on exports, especially of food products. China's national "birth chart" has Venus in the 9th House (which in a country's chart rules exports), so this is no surprise. But that Venus, at 19 degrees Scorpio, has been squared for some time by transiting Neptune. Neptune, traditionally, rules delusion and deception.

Another thing Neptune rules? Poison.

In 2006 China was reported to have a "serious surplus" of the stuff lying around, largely as a side effect of China's dependence on coal gasification technology. There are a lot of legitimate industrial uses for melamine, but of course that isn't why the stuff is in the news lately. Melamine is also useful for faking out chemical tests for protein content.

In other words: it helps you pass off not food as food.

This first started making news in early 2007 when it was discovered that dogs and cats were dying because of melamine poisoning. Melamine had been added to pet food to mask a relatively low protein content. In other words, it was a deliberate contaminant added to cover up a deliberate lack of nutritional substance. China of course promised to clean up its act, and that it wouldn't happen again. It was an isolated incident, limited to pet food.

...And then the bad milk turned up. It turned up in candy. It turned up in chocolate. It turned up in baby formula. It has killed at least four children and made over 53,000 children sick.

Neptune doesn't pass out of square range to China's Venus until early 2010. Until then, your best bet is to be very un-Neptunian with your grocery-buying habits, and read the country of origin on your food products... immediately after you notice that fabulous sale price.

In true Neptunian-delusional form, even that may not be enough. You see, although all food products have to be labeled as to their country of origin, all of the individual ingredients don't have to be labeled as to where they came from. And many food products around the world are made from imported ingredients. A lot of those come from China.

Be cautious next time you see a food bargain. After all... some bargains can kill.

Neptune In Scorpio In The Fifth: An Interview

"And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you."
-Friedrich Nietzsche

(Scene: An enormous, dimly lit warehouse filled with badly-arranged shelves stacked with a bizarre assortment of DVDs, books, and trinkets. At one end is a door, and at the other is a battered metal vault, held shut by a heavy iron bar. The smaller door opens and MATTHEW THE ASTROLOGER enters, carrying a note pad. At the centre of it all, in an arm chair, sits NEPTUNE IN SCORPIO IN THE FIFTH, glassy-eyed as he smokes from a bong, surrounded by a mound of clutter. He is on the phone, and talks loudly in order to be heard over a Warner Brothers cartoon which plays on an enormous television screen in front of him. He doesn't notice MTA entering.)

N5H: Bummer, dude. No, seriously. There's no way anyone should treat you like that. You were just -- (notices MTA has arrived) Whoa, gotta go. Astrologer dude is here. (N5H hangs up, and shouts to MTA.) Sorry I didn't hear you dude. That was Moon In Cancer. We trine each other almost exactly. That comes with free long distance.

MTA: I had to drop by. You keep missing your appointment. (glaring at the giant TV) Does that thing have to be on so damned loud?

N5H: Yeah, sorry about that. Have a look around, dude. Ask your questions... I'm not real good with answers though.

MTA: (Writing in his notepad) This place is a mess. Kind of interesting though. (Sees something on the floor) Hey! I haven't seen that since I was seven!

N5H: "The How And Why Wonder Book Of Dinosaurs"? Yeah. I've got it all here. Let Mercury and The Moon fight over who rules memory... I got your nostalgia right here, dude.

(There is a distant thumping sound)

MTA: What was that?

N5H: Nothing to worry about. (Turns the volume up on the cartoon a little) That'll take care of it.

MTA: You've got an amazing collection here. (Flipping through a few DVDs on a shelf) An awful lot of porn too. (excitedly) You've got this too? Man, those were good times!

N5H: Yeah. The relationship didn't work out, but it sure had it moments.

MTA: You've made me pretty unrealistic about those... relationships and romance and such. Always chasing after the wrong woman, or chasing after the right woman the wrong way, or -- (grabs another DVD off the shelf. A bag of pills falls to the floor) I'd completely forgotten about this one!

N5H: Yeah, that was quite the Salma Hayek phase you went through. See? I've even got your nostalgia for things that never really happened!

MTA: You know, I'm just not getting any work done here.

N5H: Work is for chumps, dude. Chumps! (Holds out the bong to MTA) Want some?

MTA: (Reaches for the bong, then stops himself) Nah. I've got a blog to write. (Accidentally knocks over a half-full bottle of Sambuca on the floor, which spills onto a stack of old comic books) This place is a disaster. But it's tempting to stay and hang out a while.

N5H: Pull up a chair! And about the cleaning: who do I look like to you, Saturn? If it feels good do it, I say. Cleaning? Doesn't feel good, so I don't do it.

MTA: I wanted to ask you about my ongoing insomnia issues. Normally a strongly-aspected Neptune would indicate too much sleep, if anything. But why --

(The distant thumping returns, a little louder. It appears to be coming from the vault door. The bar holding it shut jumps a little.)

MTA: Is there something you aren't telling me?

N5H: Yeah... I know why you don't sleep. (Looking at the television) The cartoon's over. (The enormous television falls silent, and it becomes apparent why it was on so loud. The metal vault door is being pounded on from the inside. A cacophony of sound issues from behind the battered vault door. Satan growls blasphemies. An air raid siren wails. The clown from Stephen King's "It" laughs menacingly. An angry Rottweiler snarls. Darth Vader's breath rasps. A bullying child taunts. Glass shatters as a head goes through it. A mocking SS officer shouts "Herzlich willkommen in Buchenwald, Zigeuner!" Each sound is distinct, yet melds into a whole: a sound like the hoarse shrieking of a baby left in a car with the windows rolled up on a hot summer day.)

MTA: What the hell...?

N5H: The Bad Things are here too. It's almost midnight. Time for them to come out. (N5H walks towards the vault and reaches for the bar holding it shut) Okay, okay, I know... you've been locked up for hours now. Hey Matt, you want to put another DVD in? I've got -- (N5H turns to where MTA was standing a moment before. He is gone, having run out the door he entered by. The notebook is abandoned on the floor.)

(Part of the "Personal Planets" series. Click HERE to collect 'em all!)

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