For the many of you who asked (and bless ye, by the way), "Conquer The Universe With Astrology" (and me, for that matter) will be back in a couple of weeks, with more and better guests, amusements, and astrology than ever.
In the meantime, it turns out many of you haven't been introduced to my video series. Here are the links... have a listen to your Sun Sign and be mildly offended... then listen to everyone else's and be amused and informed.
On the next "Conquer The Universe With Astrology," (Thursday at 10 PM Eastern, 7 PM Pacific) we'll be covering a lot of ground, and it's all worth the trip:
HOUR ONE: Listen to my interview with novelist Sara Humpries. The first volume of her "Amoveo" series, Unleashed, is about to hit the shelves, and is the first of a multi-part series. Does writing ability show in a birth chart? A tendency to write romantic fantasy novels? How about that childhood crush on Captain Kirk? And are bigger things coming in the next few months? Have a look at the chart below, listen to the interview, and play along!
THEN: Carrying on with the romance theme, I will be beginning a new twelve-part series...
LET'S ALL SEDUCE SOMEONE WITH ASTROLOGY!
This episode: How to seduce an Aries... man or woman... by Sun, Venus and Mars sign. Listen to this show (and the next eleven), and you'll be The Most Dangerous Dater on your block.
HOUR TWO: I interview medical astrologer Eileen Nauman about the role of Mercury in the birth chart as it relates specifically to your physical condition. It's informative, it's entertaining, and it's more proof that Astrology is probably even more awesome than you realized.
On the next "Conquer The Universe With Astrology":
FIRST: Karmic Astrologer Marguerite Manning joins me to discuss "FATHER HUNGER AND MOMMY DEAREST: ARE YOU INVOLVED IN AN UNCONSCIOUS 3-WAY?" (I swear she came up with that title). We'll be talking about all the unconscious ways your Venus and/or Saturn placement can really screw with your love life.
Oh, Sagittarius... bouncing through life so carefree and-- look out! Whew. Sometimes that easygoing carefree disregard you have for common sense can be a little... what? Ah, I see. You've already thought it out. Well, then, I'm sure that you can go on juggling chain saws indefinitely without harm
No more Mercury Retrograde, no more summer vacation, no more excuses... "Conquer The Universe With Astrology" is back tonight for a new season! (Are there Blogtalkradio seasons? Why not?). Tonight Nadiya Shah will be joining us to discuss her video projects, her upcoming appearance at SOTA to discuss Mars, and more!
PLUS: Debates, void of course Moons, job plans, and why I demand to see Rick Perry's long-form Birth Certificate.
...And for those of you who like to play along at home, here are the charts for the Obama Jobs speech, and the GOP debate at the Reagan Library. Click on 'em... they get bigger:
Oh Scorpio... so fun loving, so understanding, so willing to not take yourself seriously... I'm sorry it took me so long to put this together for you, and I know how you love it when someone teases you and denies you and then... please Scorpio, please.. just put the knife down and watch, okay?
Tonight on a Mercury Retrograde encore edition of "Conquer The Universe With Astrology": stuff from last December you probably missed:
HOUR ONE: "Twelve Signs Of Love": true-life stories of love, hilarity, romance, tragedy, sex, friendship, and kitchen appliances based on my e-book, "Love Around The Zodiac."
HOUR TWO: Also from December... my interview with legendary astrologer Michael Lutin!
Q: What do "Your Astrology Guide 2011," "Your Personal Astrology Planner 2011," "Medical Astrology: Healing For The 21st Century," the regular forecast in "Mountain Astrologer" magazine, and Astro*Carto*Graphy all have in common?
A: Jeff Jawer. And he's going to be on my show tonight at 10 PM Eastern/7 PM Pacific!
I admit it: I know nothing about Mesoamerican Astrology. I've heard interesting things, certainly... but I freely confess my ignorance on the matter. So it's a good thing that my guest, astrologer and author Bruce Scofield is going to be on tonight's special Tuesday edition of the show.
Heck, long before I'd even heard of Mayan Astrology, Bruce Scofield was a master of Western Astrology. Now his practice includes both. And he's the author of fourteen books and runs One Reed Publications, so one way or another, I'm bound to learn something from tonight's show.
Maybe you will too... but of course, you'll have to listen to find out.
Tonight on "Conquer The Universe With Astrology" at 10 PM Eastern, 7 PM Pacific:
HOUR ONE: Artist, author, and rock and roll legend COMMANDER CODY will discuss his new book, smoking pot, the Saturn transit that set his car on fire and kicked off his career path, and... did I mention the whole smoking pot thing?
HOUR TWO: Astrologer Maria DeSimone will discuss teaching astrology, indicators of psychic ability in the birth chart, tortellini, Tauruses, and pole dancing... among other things.
TONIGHT: moodiness, irritability, bloating... and a Full Moon In Capricorn!
I'll be answering your questions -- call me at at (323) 443-7252! -- and discussing my mood swings with astrology Amy Herring! Oh, that and her book... "The Astrology Of The Moon"! I'll also be addressing my Top Five List... the top five search terms that bring people to this blog!
The Universe shouldn't be something that "just happened to you." Conquer it with Astrology! Fun, advice, and an entire Universe in just one show! THIS EPISODE: Can opener? Check. Shotgun? Check. Dehydrated food? Check. Okay, it's safe to look at this year's Big Eclipse... tomorrow... and see how it's going to affect you!
Tonight at 10 PM Eastern (7 PM Pacific): Two hours of non-stop astrological edjucatainment!
HOUR ONE: My guest will be BALROK from "Creepy KOFY Movie Time," the legend of San Francisco late-night television. I'll be discussing what it is in his chart that makes him the ideal man for his job, and I uncover a top-secret project from Balrok's near future!
HOUR TWO: April Elliot Kent returns to discuss her new book that will help you learn astrology from the ground up, help you impress your friends, and ... maybe... get a date!
PLUS: Drinking and Eclipsing with Amy Winehouse, another installment of "How's Matthew's Ass?", and our new feature... "Your Soul Mate Is Hiding In Our Chat Room." Of course, for that one... you should really join us live and be in the Chat Room.
Sure, there are other astrologically-based things you could do this evening... but they all suck waaaay more than tonight's show will. Guaranteed.
TOMORROW: The biggest and bestest "Conquer The Universe With Astrology" ever, featuring both BALROK from San Francisco's legendary "Creepy KOFY Movie Time"...
...and astrologer April Elliot Kent drops by to explain how her new book can change your life! (Well, I figure it could, anyway. She's a little more modest about it.)
PLUS: Your Soulmate Is Hiding In Our Chat Room, and another installment of "How's Matthew's Ass?"
Did I mention your soulmate is hiding in our Chat Room?
On an all-new "Conquer The Universe With Astrology" tonight...
-Astrologer Claire-France Perez will discuss becoming an astrologer, the Lot Of Fortune, marketing, and dogs.
-Your questions answered! Call me on-air at (323) 443-7252!
-And we'll discuss the effects of Wednesday's lunar eclipse on the City Of Vancouver, The Vancouver Canucks, and in a brand new feature, we'll answer the question... "How Is Matthew's Ass?"
"Welcome to Geminis Hair Salon! Today's Special... the Sun (Ego) and Mercury (Thought) are conjunct! Can I get you a coffee? Tea, perhaps? Diet drink? Sangria? Root Beer? Milkshake? Prune Juice? Vodka Martini? Anyway, Today's Special is bound to lead to lots of bold new thinking! That's always a good thing, right? Now, were you looking for a trim? A perm? Dye job? How about extensions, or... I know! A Mohawk! I hear they're coming back! Oh, as I was saying... yes, lots and lots of ideas floating around today, and I'm sure they're all really, really practical and constructive! Brush cut? How about an Afro? Ever try the Bettie Page look? How about highlights? Um, wait a second... what was my original point?
...oh, right... Welcome to Geminis Hair Salon!Today's Special... the Sun (Ego) and Mercury (Thought) are conjunct!"
The Universe shouldn't be something that "just happened to you." Conquer it with Astrology! Fun, advice, and an entire Universe in just one show! TONIGHT: The last show EVER. Well, not really... it's just changing and I love being dramtic. Listen in for details!
Today on a special Wednesday edition of "Conquer The Universe With Astrology": Jupiter enters Taurus. How will affect you in the coming year? PLUS: It's Solar Eclipse Day! How will this affect you personally?
Three Eclipses, no waiting! June 1st, June 15th, and July first all feature some remarkable stuff. Big, interesting, potentially life-changing stuff. Listen in and find out how it will affect YOU!
(Oh, and I'll be there too. And there might be a prize or something. And maybe I'll send out free stuff to everyone who writes me. You'd better listen in just to make sure.)
Tomorrow on "Conquer The Universe with Astrology"... It's a romance Astrolopalooza! We're going to take advantage of that Taurus/Scorpio Full Moon and set some romantic intentions! Maybe you want to understand how your birth chart affects your love life. Maybe you want to know what romantic surprises the future holds. Or maybe you just want to know how to seduce an Aries (or a Taurus Gemini Cancer Leo Virgo Libra Scorpio Sagittarius Capricorn Aquarius or Pisces) man (or woman). Or maybe you just want to hear me talking astrology with three of the biggest and best names out there...
Astrology can provide a lot of practical help with life... you probably already know about compatibility and predictive astrology. But of course, the observable events of your life are only half the story: your inner life colors and directs everything around it. And when that Inner Life paints everything in shades of blue, it doesn't matter how well or how badly life is really running... it's just all blue.
The old grey donkey Eeyore stood by himself in a thistly corner of the Forest, his front feet well apart, his head on one side, and thought about things. Sometimes he thought sadly to himself, "Why?" and sometimes he thought, "Wherefore?" and sometimes he thought, "Inasmuch as which?" and sometimes he didn't quite know what he was thinking about. -A. A. Milne
Depression is probably the most widespread mental health issue people face. Billions of dollars in research, and billions of dollars spent on prescriptions (and prescriptions to boost your prescriptions), books, and more forms of therapy than you can shake a stick at... and are we really any closer to a "cure"? And can astrology really provide help?
Yes it can. Tomorrow, May 10th at 2 PM Eastern (11 AM Pacific) listen in to find out how.
They say Libra is the "partnership sign": always either looking for a partner or compensating for their partner's flaws. Sounds like the kind of people who'll forgive me for a bit of teasing, don't they? Let's find out!
Q: What do "Your Astrology Guide 2011," "Your Personal Astrology Planner 2011," "Medical Astrology: Healing For The 21st Century," the regular forecast in "Mountain Astrologer" magazine, and Astro*Carto*Graphy all have in common?
A: Jeff Jawer. And he's going to be on my show tonight at 10 PM Eastern/7 PM Pacific!
Today at 2 PM Eastern (11 AM Pacific)... I'm thrilled to have as my guest astrologer Nadiya Shah, author of Astrology: Symbology And Divination. That, and (even better!) we'll be answering your questions either from the Chat Room, or live if you call (323) 442-7252!
Tonight on "Conquer The Universe With Astrology": your questions answered, the follow-up to last night's rude show about duck sex, and a look at Pluto.
Tomorrow at 4 PM Pacific (1 PM Pacific) on Conquer The Universe With Astrology": I'll be discussing the Neptune in Pisces years. May God Have mercy on us all.
No, scratch that... may we all have mercy on each other. Maybe God has had quite enough of us yelling at Him to fix the mess we've made for ourselves.
"Hurricane hurricane A mighty earthquake and a hurricane The earth cracked open and was breathing fire Everybody's running none ready to die Some going crazy some insane Saying save me from the mighty hurricane People scrambling and on the run Like they were hit with the atom bomb Some lay cripple some lay lame Just save me from the mighty hurricane Rich folks falling down on their knees Begging lord have mercy if you please Take all of my money I don't need a thing Just save me from the mighty hurricane"
-Willie Dixon
...here's Lurrie Bell's perfectly appropriate cover version. Have a listen, and join me tomorrow.
Tonight on "Conquer The Universe With Astrology": a special trip around the Zodiac with twelve true-life tales of love, romance, tragedy, hilarity, infidelity, comfort, joy, seafood and kitchen appliances. Listen in and see if my experiences with The Twelve Signs match up with yours...
Although most of you here are familiar with my regular show, "Conquer The Universe With Astrology," many of you may not know I also appear Wednesdays on The Caribbean Radio Show.
So, what happens when The Lord Of Dreams enters The Sign Of The Dreamers? Is it a time when dreams can come true? Is it a time of Magic and Wonder and Fairy Tale Endings? Will the true power of the Human Spirit and Imagination be unleashed to form a world worthy of our highest aspirations?
Will we all hold hands and collectively dream a better world for ourselves?
I dunno. Ask a Teabagger or a Birther or a Terrorist or a Socialist or a Revolutionary or a Gitmo Detainee or any of the other many, many Spooks and Ghosties scratching at the door of our collective unconscious trying to find an entry into our world.
There aren't a whole lot of bonuses that come from waking up and facing the day on a Monday morning, but heres' one of them: my new feature, "Conquer Your Week With Astrology"... my new five-day weekday forecast on Blogtalkradio! It's five days in five minutes, covering the astro-mood for the week ahead, and is a natural compliment to my Weekend Romance Forecast at Astrologydating.com.
THIS WEEK: My... what big Void Of Course Moons you have, Grandma...
Please have a listen... and then get back to work. Neptune is in Pisces now, and everyone else at the office will likely be having a nap.
Holy crap! There's a freakin' New Moon in Aries coming up with six freakin' planets in Aries coming up! WTF? How the hell's THAT going to affect you? And how do you find out the answer to that right freakin' NOW?
