Monday, May 20, 2013

The Daily Sky: Sun In Gemini, Uranus Square Pluto Exact

(SCENE: The waiting room of a therapist's office. There is a row of five chairs, and at one end sits URANUS and the other sits PLUTO. They each have their arms crossed, and are eying each other suspiciously. The door to the therapist's office opens and THE SUN sticks his head out.)

SUN: Oh, hello! Nice to see you! How's everyone doing today?

URANUS: Unreasonably constricted, thank you very much.

PLUTO: Do you have to do everything for shock value, or make everything a joke? (To SUN) This guy is just here to screw with things. I can't work with someone who isn't serious.

URANUS: You're serious enough for a whole Solar System.

PLUTO: You need that. You're undisciplined.

URANUS: Oh, now you sound just like Saturn.

PLUTO: Don't bring up your old conjunctions with me! (To SUN) You see? You see that? That was a deliberate jab --

URANUS: To let you know that not everything can go according to YOUR plan!

PLUTO: (Standing up) I could completely destroy you!

URANUS: (Also standing, rolling up sleeves and making fists) The only thing you've ever destroyed is "a good time"!

SUN: (Standing between the other two to intervene) Hey, hey... planets, please. I understand you have your differences, and I know you aren't really aspecting each other that well right now... but the noise of you two fighting! It's caused all kinds of insanity! No one trusts each other, everyone is broke, all the wrong people have either got it good or got it bad... it's a mess. A real mess, folks. (pause) And you two need to talk to each other and to listen to each other before something breaks.

(URANUS AND PLUTO pause to consider this. They both sit down, one more chair closer to each other than before. They still seem suspicious but are appear willing to play along)

SUN: See? Aren't things a little better already?

PLUTO: (Quietly) Okay. So, we have our issues. But maybe talking to a therapist will help.

URANUS: (to SUN) And I admit you're doing better than I expected, so far. Where did you get your degree?

SUN: Degree? (pause) Oh. (nervous chuckle) I'm not the therapist. Umm... (clearly uncomfortable) Dr. Yablonski died of a heart attack when the bank foreclosed on his underwater home the same week he got his first medical bill for his heart... turns out it was a "pre-existing condition" and wasn't covered. Also, he argued with his Facebook friends a lot without realizing he was losing his real-world connections. And he neglected reaching out to his loved ones, and he wasn't really hearing their concerns either. And he was working himself to death paying off his debts. And frankly all the stress was making him eat terribly. (pause) This was his last week before the layoff, anyway.

(URANUS and PLUTO look at each other with a little bit of guilt)

SUN: I'm no therapist... I just entered Gemini and I realize the value of talking things out. (turns to leave) Now, you two play nice, okay...?

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