Are You There, God? It's Me... An Astrologer

Hi again. As per my previous blog entry, I'm still pounding away on the book and on my other projects, as per the handy widget on the right side of the blog. I'm also bringing back The Amazing Surprise Ten Buck Forecast Experiment and, although Version One was incredibly popular, this time it's back with a slightly improved twist. Check it out if you haven't seen it before... it's pretty cool, even if I do say so myself.

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We are now experiencing a conjunction between Jupiter and Neptune, which is something that only hits about once every twelve years. The ideal way to deal with this -- the fusion of philosophy and mysticism -- would probably be to go off into the woods, eat some mushrooms, and hallucinate a new direction in life.

Unfortunately, modern society doesn't tend to encourage the consumption of hallucinogens, even if it's in an important and time-honored spiritual context. And even if your boss does let you have the time off, good luck getting your medical coverage to pay for the psilocybin. 

So I've decided to provide the best substitute for you I can come up with on a blog. Achieve Enlightenment now... thank me later.

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For a moment, please contemplate your own, deep down, personal answer to the following question:

Is there a God? Even if you aren't all that sure, odds are good that your answer will tend to either a "yes" or a "no." Either way, think about it for a moment. 

Got that? Good. Now, ponder the following two statements carefully, in light of your answer:

IF YOU BELIEVE IN GOD: There is not a single decent shred of scientific evidence out there anywhere for the existence of a Supreme Being. What little we do know about the birth, formation, and operation of the Universe does not require a Prime Mover, Creator, or Guiding Force. And what little we know about these things is not in line with the literal word of any of the scriptures of any of the major religions... or even of any of the minor ones, so far as I know. Go ahead: ask any physicist you know whether or not they believe in God. If that physicist says "yes," then ask him/her if any of the evidence in any way, shape or form unambiguously backs that contention. Unless your physicist is a graduation of one of those "universities" founded by a preacher, the answer is going to be "no." (If you physicist buddy did graduate from Sacred Pentecost Tax Shelter U., ask about how Adam and Eve and the dinosaurs all lived together in The Garden Of Eden. What follows next should be good for a few laughs if you know anything at all about science. Or logic.)

Inescapably, all reason and evidence points to the utterly unnecessary nature of a Creator.

IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD: If you were God, and were going to have a child (The Universe)... wouldn't you want that child to be as self-sufficient as possible?

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There you have it. Contemplate until you achieve Enlightenment. And sorry I gave you work to do... this sort of thing is so much easier when there are mushrooms involved...

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Conquer The Universe With Astrology!

I'm about to vanish from here for a couple of months or so. I'm pleased to announce that Llewellyn will be publishing my forthcoming book, "Conquer The Universe With Astrology" and with luck it will be on the shelves by December.

(Yes, it would make the perfect Christmas gift! Why do you ask?)

Getting the book done is going to require a lot of heavy typing from me in the next couple of months, and there are other projects in the works as well. So, if your only exposure to my work is here on this blog, my output is going to seem awfully slim.

There will be three primary signs that I am still alive. First of all, there is the Astrology.com blog, which will automatically reprint here. But really... you should go HERE and scroll down the left-hand side and click on "subscribe." It will be best for both of us.

There's also The Daily Sky at Sasstrology.com.

And there's Twitter, where I am "matthewcurrie."

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I admit I've heard a lot of things over the years about the contentious nature of the author/editor relationship, but (thus far) my experience with Llewellyn has been overwhelmingly positive. In fact, there has only been one area of disagreement: the actual title. Here are the top ten titles they rejected...

10) All Other Astrology Books Suck: Burn Them And Buy Three Copies Of This One

9) The Cubic Zirconia Tablets Of Hermes Trismegistus

8) Owning This Book Prevents Death

7) Get Laid And Avoid Paternity Suits With Astrology!

6) Sun Signs By Linda Goodman

5) If You Shoplift This Book, The Store Gets A Write-Off And I Still Get Paid

4) Watchmen II: The Files Of Dr. Zodiac

3) Drink Like An Astrologer: A Guide To The Bars Of North America

2) Leviticus II: The Re-Koshering

1) This Book Is Already Worth Fifty Bucks On EBay!

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In the meantime, you may also see something or other here, on occasion. And now, if you'll excuse me... I have some typing to do. Thank you, and bless you all. I'll be back.

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Where'd He Go?

An update for those of you who drop by here on a regular basis:

You may have noticed the blog slow down a little of late. That's certainly not for lack of writing on my part. There are a few projects coming up in the next month or two that I can almost-but-not-quite announce just yet. In the meantime...

You can still catch me every day writing "The Daily Sky" for Sasstrology.com.

Also... more good news! Above and beyond this blog, you can also catch me twice a week at Astrology.com writing my new blog about love, dating, and astrology!

...and I'll still be here on occasion while I continue to work on The Other Big Thing(s) I Can't Mention Yet.

I love building a sense of drama.

Greeting Cards From The Cardinal Signs Of The Zodiac

( Your mail from the other signs is here. )


ARIES




CANCER


LIBRA



CAPRICORN

American Pigeons: A Story About Saturn In Virgo (UPDATED)

(Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water... Saturn has retrograded back into Virgo. The advice in this entry all still applies, and you can read the update HERE. Stay calm!)

I was born and raised in Canada, which in most respects is more like America than it is unlike America. But there are certain interesting differences. Like, for example... the pigeons. In both countries, pigeons can be found in any major city, bobbing along and picking at the wreckage left by humans and generally provoking anger at their tendency to crap on things.

In an urban setting, pigeons make an interesting metaphor for the functions of a Saturn transit. Saturn itself is often associated with the detritus pigeons pick off the street. Saturn also has a lot to do with excrement -- both literally and figuratively.

Although they are essentially the same birds performing the same function in both countries, I have noticed one distinct difference between the birds in the two countries:

American pigeons don't keep out of your way.

Canadian pigeons tend to leave a respectful distance between themselves and the foot traffic they encounter every day. American pigeons, on the other hand, seem to take a certain delight in pushing their luck. They're more "in your face." They still get out of your way, of course, eventually -- cockiness only goes so far as an evolutionary strategy -- but they are more blatant. And, as a result, they provoke a greater response from the average person. In America, one is much more likely to hear pigeons referred to as "rats with wings." I don't recall a Canadian ever getting annoyed with them to the same degree.

Saturn is on its final swing through Virgo now, where it has played hell with a lot of people's lives since 2007. There will be a brief retrograde return visit in 2010, but for the most part -- we're done with it. In October Saturn passes into Libra, which may not be great news for Libras -- but it is the sign of Saturn's exaltation, so for many it will be a more comfortable fit.

In my experience, however, it's the time when Saturn is passing through the end of a sign is that the difficulties of the last two years may not be necessarily worse... but somehow they are more obvious. In other words... those damned pigeons aren't getting out of the way very quickly or easily.

Be brave. We only have a little further to go. Don't kick at those pigeons... they'll be out of your way soon enough.

Try the September Special! A full-blown astrological consultation for ONE THIRD the regular price! Write me with your date, time, and city of birth here for more details.

Venus, Mars, And Uranus Conjunction In Pisces, And Its Possible Effects On A Strained Relationship: A Case Study

How To Annoy An Astrologer

There have been times when I've been out at a party or a bar or some other social occasion and I'll meet someone new, and they discover that I am an astrologer. Sometimes... often with painful regularity... the first thing this person will ask me is "What Sign am I?"

Thus far I have (fortunately) resisted the urge to respond with something like "If I was a doctor, would the first thing you ask me be 'What's wrong with me?'"

Because that, at least, I would have a quick answer for.

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Former (and probable future) celebrity train wreck Britney Spears appears to be back at the top of her game, with another single on the charts and all her hair grown back in... kind of like I said she would be a while ago. Thus, today's choice rerun is...

The Britney Spears Chronicles.