Conquer The Universe With Nora Jean Stone!

Jon me and Nora Jean Stone from the San Francisco Astrological Society on tonight's "Conquer The Universe With Astrology." We'll be talking about Neptune and Chiron in Pisces, the current Venus-Pluto square that's making a few of you say "ouch," and why I figure Rob Hand owes me a favor.

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN NOW!

Check out my show! If you like what you hear... there's more to come in the future! Please feel free to drop by and visit my Donations Page. It's what keeps me going and, and you might just get a surprise...And yes, I still send free stuff to everyone who writes me!

If you're new to this blog, here's a sample of my previous shows and blog entries. Enjoy!

Neptune In Pisces, Marguerite Manning, And Maybe A Case Of Scotch

TONIGHT'S SHOW: No big deal... just a couple of astrologers sittin' around talking'.

Really. That's it. The whole show. Just that. Oh, right... and Neptune in Pisces. Forgive me. I've been drinking.

Hey wait... the two astrologers in question are Marguerite Manning and myself! Hoo hah! The bar is open!

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN!

Check out my show! If you like what you hear... there's more to come in the future! Please feel free to drop by and visit my Donations Page. It's what keeps me going and, and you might just get a surprise...And yes, I still send free stuff to everyone who writes me!

If you're new to this blog, here's a sample of my previous shows and blog entries. Enjoy!

Venus in Pisces, Mars in Virgo: Pinky And The Brain Try Internet Dating

(Venus in Pisces is considered to be an "exalted" placement: full of open-hearted non-judgmental love and willingness to express it. Mars in Virgo is looking to win by analyzing the details. The two positions are opposite each other, and Venus opposition Mars is in full effect now.)

***

(SCENE: Late night at Acme Laboratories. In a darkened corner two laboratory mice in a cage are huddled over a tiny little computer, checking out a dating site.)

PINKY: Oy, what about this one, Brain? She seems really nice, and oh look... she likes long walks! That could come in handy. Narf!

BRAIN: Don't be ridiculous, Pinky. Pay attention to the rest of her ad. "Must be goal-oriented and self sufficient."

PINKY: Well, that's you, isn't it?

BRAIN: That's a code-phrase for "she's a gold-digger" Pinky. You know I can't touch my savings. I need it for a new Death Ray!

PINKY: Oh, okay. Hey, look at this ad! She says she's easygoing and appreciates being able to relax with a loved one over a glass of fine wine!

BRAIN: She has low standards and a drinking problem. Next!

PINKY: Well, SurferGirl67 likes classical music like you do...

BRAIN: I hate what she's done with her hair.

PINKY: This one has a fondness for animals...

BRAIN: I am an animal! She'd never be faithful!

PINKY: SunshineLover81 enjoys spending time on the beach and --

BRAIN: --and is an unmotivated skin-cancer candidate.

PINKY: AudreyJ has loved and lost but is ready to try again...

BRAIN: Too many issues with her ex.

PINKY: JJLaRue says she's wild, spontaneous, and affectionate...

BRAIN: Tramp.

PINKY: IowaHomegirl wants a committed relationship that lines up with her values...

BRAIN: Prude.

PINKY: Narf! You aren't making this easy, Brain! You're analyzing everything to death!

BRAIN: (Turns off computer and walks to the edge of the cage, stares off into the distance) Enough of this foolishness! You know what we're going to do tonight, Pinky?

PINKY: Go out and try to find someone in person, so we can see them for who they really are instead of dismissing them offhandedly based on a few lines of type and a couple of pictures?

BRAIN: No Pinky. We're going to try to take over the world with my army of remote controlled pigeons I've trained to poop on anyone whop dares challenge our dominance. It's a much more practical and achievable goal.

PINKY: (sighs) I'm lonely.

BRAIN: Shut up Pinky.

(This Thursday on "Conquer The Universe With Astrology":  it's Astrology: The Pants-Optional Venus And Mars Show." Click HERE to set a reminder... and bring a date if you like.)

Check out my show! If you like what you hear... there's more to come in the future! Please feel free to drop by and visit my Donations Page. It's what keeps me going and, and you might just get a surprise...And yes, I still send free stuff to everyone who writes me!

If you're new to this blog, here's a sample of my previous shows and blog entries. Enjoy!

What Can An Astrologer Do For You?

More people would take advantage of the services of a professional Astrologer if they knew what an astrologer can actually DO for them. Here's a brief introductory video... with lots and lots of scary warnings about side effects.

Check out my show! If you like what you hear... there's more to come in the future! Please feel free to drop by and visit my Donations Page. It's what keeps me going and, and you might just get a surprise...And yes, I still send free stuff to everyone who writes me!

If you're new to this blog, here's a sample of my previous shows and blog entries. Enjoy!

Eight Minutes Of Venus In Pisces

Whenever Venus enters Pisces... the sign of it's "exaltation"... it's time for the astrology bloggers to bust out the synonyms for "depth" and "compassion" and "confusion" and...

Why not just watch an 8 minute video that says and shows everything you need to know about Venus in Pisces, without actually spelling it out... which is kinda Piscean, if you think about it...

"To what end be Death, if not for Love?" Wow, look at all the colors! Hey, why is everyone dancing? Why am I dancing? "And what be life, if not for Love?" Holy cow, you're beautiful! "Say a hundred things, should you wish, the meaning still remains the same." I think I'm in love with you. "Who has ever known what Love is, and yet EVERYONE knows what Love is." Hey... is that a Product Placement? I know I shouldn't, but I'm so thirsty and this is delicious! "A garden of roses, love; strewn with thorns too, is love." I think I'm in love with you too. Hey, where did you go...?

Just put the astrology texts down for eight minutes and watch this instead. It will tell you everything Venus in Pisces wants you to know, and in far better style than I could ever muster. Hope you don't mind subtitles.

Check out my show! If you like what you hear... there's more to come in the future! Please feel free to drop by and visit my Donations Page. It's what keeps me going and, and you might just get a surprise...And yes, I still send free stuff to everyone who writes me!

If you're new to this blog, here's a sample of my previous shows and blog entries. Enjoy!

The Astrology Of 2012

It's the big scary year you were warned about... are you ready? Probably not. None of us ever really are. But here's what to expect from the next twelve months of your future!

"Conquer The Universe With Astrology" returns!

Tonight at 8:30 PM Eastern (5:30 Pacific)

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN OR SET A REMINDER!

...and hey, if you're listening live and have any questions, give me a call at (323) 443-7252!

...not yet... not yet... waaaaaaiiiit for it...

Check out my show! If you like what you hear... there's more to come in the future! Please feel free to drop by and visit my Donations Page. It's what keeps me going and, and you might just get a surprise...And yes, I still send free stuff to everyone who writes me!

If you're new to this blog, here's a sample of my previous shows and blog entries. Enjoy!

Matthew The Astrologer on Creepy KOFY Movie Time

For those of you who missed it... like, just about everyone... here is my appearance on The Bay Area's own Creepy KOFY Movie Time. Two things that are important to notice:

1) Astrology gives you the ability to quickly "cut to the chase" with a thumbnail description of the personality.

2) They used that special camera on me that added ten pounds to my chin and neck, but not anyone else's. Now THAT'S "paranormal."

(Come back soon for a link to my 2012 Forecast Show!)